“So whaddya’ say? Wanna help me ‘destroy’ everything?”
Those were the words you said to me that day, coating them with honey before they left your mouth. Slumped against the wall, clutching your blackened eye, you wait for your answer.
…You’re not slick, you know?
From the very moment you asked that question, I knew you wanted to use me. The way you looked at me expectantly. The way you spoke to me so sweetly. I've seen it all before. I saw it from the ‘fostering’ adults who used me for a paycheck, only to throw me back into the system to be of use for someone else. I even saw it from the other kids, who lured me into false friendships to gain something for themselves.
And now, I see it from you too.
In hindsight, maybe I should have said no. Maybe I should have refused out of spite… denied you the gratification you were arrogantly expecting from me, if only for a little satisfaction.
Maybe.
…But you were my best friend. My only friend. Whenever we were together, even if we were arguing about the dumbest of things, I felt nothing but constant happiness. A feeling that I thought I lost forever. A feeling that I wanted back for so long.
What would have happened if I said no? Would you have simply accepted it? Say “Oh well!” and pretend you never asked?
Or would you have just left me there alone, taking that very happiness I only dreamt of having along with you?
Sometimes, I wonder if you thought about that yourself. About how I felt.
Then again, I kinda hope you didn’t. Because if you did…
No wonder why you didn’t look surprised when I said-
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“Okay.”
When you said that one word of confirmation, I immediately felt the weight of anticipation lift from my shoulders. I quickly looked up to you, the source of my salvation, who stood over me in timid fashion. As I looked at you, I felt nothing but gratefulness in that moment. Even while I comforted the eye that you struck, I felt nothing but grateful towards you.
In all honesty, the hesitance in your answer had me scared. For a moment, I thought another person would let me down. That another person would want nothing to do with me.
But you were different. You believed in me.
…Thinking back on it, I did feel bad for putting you in that position. But I had no choice. You were the only option I had left. I would never tell you that. But you were.
…Either way, it doesn’t matter now.
What matters now is that you said yes. What matters is that you are with me until the bitter end. Until the wheels come off!
But don’t worry, it won’t.
I have it all planned out. I swear it.
Operation ORDINARY DESTRUCTION:
BEGIN!
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