Mayu Hoshinoka.

Otherwise known as the Demon Queen of Moe, capable of destroying the world itself or your heart instead. She is cuteness incarnate, the only entity in the world capable of exuding the aura of a harsh older sister and a doting mother simultaneously. The picturesque vision of sadomasochism, the pinnacle of existence with a key to my heart.

That feels cringe, is that too cringe?

Anyways, where do I start?

My name is Akira Nonomi, I like to think of myself as more of an Aki kind of person and I would say that my friends lovingly called me by that name if I had any.

I know what you’re thinking – that sounds really sad. But sadness is a part of the game, when you’re too busy being sad then you don’t have any time for shame.

Look that rhymed.

I’m funny.

Okay please don’t click away so quickly, let me just hold your attention for a little while longer, you mysterious godly entity whose existence is ensuring my survival. I need your views okay, just like the goddess and divine presence in this realm, Mayu Hoshinoka, needs mine.

Being an Otaku is hard work - I must juggle my packed schedule of university studies and part-time work at the convenience store with insurmountable hordes of content relating to popular culture.

The fundamental principle of my life is that there are infinite amounts of virtual cuties and infinite ways in which to consume media relating to them. My purpose is to efficiently navigate all those modes of entertainment while earning enough money for myself to sustain my impulsive spending habits relating to said content.

Life is only so long and my consumption rate of visual novels, video games, online content creators, anime, manga, and light novels all pales in comparison to the rate at which these things are being produced.

What does this mean?

I am simply not efficient enough. I have failed my fellow anime brothers; I have failed society and now I am stuck with a backlog of content I will never get around to.

The burden is too great for me to bear.

I’ll try not to ramble on too much in the future, but I can’t make any promises.

Mayu Hoshinoka.

This popular virtual content creator - otherwise known as VTuber - has won my heart and evidently by her record-breaking viewer metrics, the hearts of many of the other fans around the world. I have clicked the donation button on her streams more times than I’ve opened the door to my apartment, and I’ve lived here for years now.

There is just something about her mannerisms, her way of speaking and her presence I find comforting – I’m not sure if I just need the company or if there’s something deeper there. I feel as if everything she does is just so familiar.

“Dun! Dun! Dun!”

Mayu’s voice radiates from my computer screen, warming up my messy studio apartment with her embrace.

This is one of those things that Mayu says that puts her right on the cusp of both being super cute and kind of embarrassing - the sort of thing you can only get away with when you’re a virtual person. Every time something gets a little risqué or chaotic on her stream, she will add her own sort of background noise or suspense effects to try and overdramatize the situation.

It's cute as heck! Although, I can’t imagine someone doing it in real life.

“Okay, now we’re getting to the end of the stream, I just wanna say thank you, everyone, for being here and supporting me; I don’t know where I would be without you!”

Mayu cracks a smile that shines through my computer, pixel by pixel, as donation messages start filling the screen; I hold my finger on the button myself, but I’ve already donated three times this stream and I need to be able to eat today.

“I’ll read some of these before I go; let’s see…

“BigStarLazer says: Thanks for the stream, Queen Mayu, you’ve really helped me turn my life around for the better – keep doing you!

“Well thank you BigStarLazer! Honestly, I feel so honoured that I could help you out, I hope things keep getting better for you. Let’s see, the next one…

“Magical69 says: Step on me please, big sister!”

The lighthearted and pure aura of the great Mayu disappears faster than my dignity did many years ago. She sits back in her chair, puts her nose up to the audience and stares deep into our souls, her heavenly smile turning into a sinister smirk.

“You dare call me big sister? I would never be related to a half-wit as ugly as you! I will step on you, not because you asked me to but because that’s what I do with vermin. Know your place before you decide to come back in here asking me for favours.”

Venom spits from her mouth at a rapid pace as the demonic horns on her digital avatar flare-up.

This is the duality of Mayu and one of the reasons she’s so popular – she perfectly encompasses two of the major anime tropes associated with cute girls. On one hand, you have the loving, caring and nurturing side, whereas on the other you have the sadistic, impulsive, and domineering side.

Everyone is happy in the end!

But I think you’re beginning to see my problem here. Mayu streams for seven hours a day, almost every single day! The destruction of abominable fans like this and the sweet, sweet wholesome moments cannot be missed. This is leading to all my other content getting sidelined, decreasing my efficiency even further and there’s nothing I can do about it!

I have to be here.

Yeah, I know there are always clips available online but it’s not the same as being here, in the moment, to witness this annihilation.

It gives me a thrill like no other.

I’m not a masochist, if anything the more wholesome and cute side of Mayu appeals to me to a much greater extent. But in the game for Mayu’s heart, all these other viewers are my contenders and with every fan taken out like trash, the closer I get to rescuing the princess from the tall tower.

Not that I have any chance, even I’m not that delusional. I guess this is all a part of the fantasy.

With that, I take off my glasses and crash into bed – my lengthy brown locks caressing my pillow.

I’m looking forward to another beautiful day with my special demon queen. The frilly lace from her dress pulsates through my brain as I slowly drift off to sleep.

A demonic magical girl.