Why?
Only the green eyes shone bright in her grim face.
Why?
The wind whirled up her hair while she pressed her teeth together so much that it hurt.
How did it end up like this?
She had only realized now that she was broken. But her body was numb. Her heart was numb. She didn't move like she was frozen on the spot. She wouldn't be able to bear the pain if she allowed herself to feel.
Why?
Only yesterday everything was alright.
No, that's not true. It has been weird for some time now. He had changed. So much. He had been her everything, her heart, her soul. They had been the same and yet different. They had shared so much for so many years. And now everything was shattered. She felt like she had ripped out her own heart.
Why?
Who was at fault? Who was to blame? He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve any of this.
She couldn't loosen the grip around her baton. It was comforting somehow. Eventhough or maybe just because her weapon was still pierced through his heart. Both were still connected like this. She did that to him. She huffed and looked to the side.
Hilarious.
Has she gone insane? No, maybe? The adrenaline must have started to leave her veins. How should she ever live with this feeling? This guilt? This horrendous pain spreading throughout every fiber of her being. Of that what was left of her. How should she ever breathe again? How should she find a glimpse of hope for what's to come? How should she ever face herself again?
She forced herself to get up, still not unhand the baton. His blood was spilled everywhere. Some of hers had to be mixed in as well. What a mess. She looked at him. Nothing familiar was left. His kind eyes had become bloody red, his teeth had become fangs. His usually pretty face was covered with his long hair strands. She brushed them aside to get a glance at it for the last time, but his gentle smile was gone forever. His skin had turned ashen, his hands were claws. He wouldn't hold her anymore when she's scared. Even small horns had grown out of his head. He looked like the devil. But she didn't act any better.
Has this really been the only solution?
Somehow, at some point their path wasn't the same anymore. They slowly drifted apart. Could they have known it? Realized earlier? But what would it have changed? Probably nothing.
I wanted us to always be together.
Would she ever find out what had caused this distress? This misery? Would anyone even care? Should she ever head back? Or just stay here and wither together with him?
A part of me is dead. Everything is ruined. I hate myself.
No, she wouldn't go down on her knees again. Not now. She had to stay strong. For him, for both.
Mother, I'm sorry. I hope you don't hate me for sending him to you this early.
Maybe she wasn't as strong as she wished. Thinking of another beloved person gone was just too much. Maybe it was okay. It had to be. She finally let go of the baton and started to cry.
But it was a promise.
I kept it.
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