It's dark in this room. Actually, it's pitch black. Come to think about it I'm not even sure if this is a room, but the staleness of the air and a faint echo of a machine's whirling noise suggests it is a closed space. A machine – I do not know what it is. When I concentrate to listen more carefully it sounds like a sound of a spinning fan. It could be a cooling fan or some sort of ventilating device. I guess they both have the same effect, the only difference being the purpose. I spend about a minute intently listening to this 'fan' noise.
It is a small fan, rotating rapidly, which makes me think it is not a ventilation fan connected to outside, but a small fan located in a machine. What kind of machine would it be, I try to pick up any other hint that I can sense in this blackness. I try to smell. The air feels a little moist as it enters my nostrils. I find that the air's actually rushing into my nose even when I inhale only faintly. I try to stop breathing. The air's still flowing into my nose.
I figured it out. I don't know what happened to me, but I have a breathing mask attached to my face. Obviously, I'm not dead, but I feel no pain. I don't remember getting into any accident that could have led to me ending up in some sort of a hospital. Besides, I don't think a hospital's room would be set to be so dark, even if it were night now. I try to remember. What was I up to before I found myself here?
It was sunny. I remember the sunbeams. The sunbeams shining through the strains of her hair draping over my face. A girl, I can't visualize her face at all, but I feel like she was smiling. The smell, she smelt sweet, yet salty. Her face was close to mine, her hands pinning me down by the shoulders, her knees placed tightly to each side of my torso.
Then she parted her lips to say something. I did not see her face in the shadow and all I could see was the flicker of sunshine descending on me through her wavy hair, but I could feel a breath of sweet air landing on my lips as she spoke.
I don't remember any sound, no words, no particular message, but I remember feeling at ease and in peace, not in a tranquil and joyous way, but like my body was slowly dissolving into the ground in the most soothing manner, as if I was disappearing slowly. My eyes closed. My body was sinking. I think I was laying on a bed of long-grown summer grass. Each blade of the grass seemed to be softening as if they were turning into something fluffy. I could feel her face getting close to mine. For some reason, I remember thinking 'this is the last time'. Last time of what, I do not know. And then in all this haziness, a voice echoes into my skull, as if the girl was projecting the sound right into my head.
"So I was like, whoa, what's going on? Is this for real?"
I was talking to my friend Peko, who was the only one I was close enough to discuss such things with.
"It probably wasn't, and you are just talking out of your ass, Tobi"
"No man, it was real. I read the note like a hundred times"
"Yeah but you don't know who actually wrote it"
"I do. I knew it in the instant. I just needed to confirm that the note itself was real, the piece of paper that I was holding in my hand"
"Lol. You don't doubt your wild guess on who this girl could be but you doubt if a physical thing in your hand is real"
"'cuz you never know right? But anyway, it did clearly say, and it was from her. I'm 100% certain"
"What makes you so sure?"
"We had eye contact"
"What? That's it?"
"Yeah, it was a few days ago. We walked past each other and our eyes met, and in that instant, I felt there was something special about her like there was some inexplicable connection between us. I'm sure she felt the same"
"Whatever man, but anyways, who is this mysterious girl that supposedly left a note for you?"
"That girl over there"
"The one in the middle, with short cut hair"
"Get outta here. She's not in your league. She's not even on the same planet"
"But she is the one that left the note inside my desk"
"It is her, I'm sure"
"Why don't you go talk to her then? As if you can lol"
"Nah, she may be embarrassed in front of her friends and all that, you know"
"Yes she'd be embarrassed just to be talked to by you, you embarrassment of a human being"
"Fuck off. I'll do it casually, like a coincidence"
"Look I will just kick to roll this ball over to her and go there to pick it up"
Then I kicked the ball. I gave it a bit of power as she was somewhat far away, but I completely misjudged. The ball went ballistic and landed straight on her face, to my horror.
"Oh boy… what the fuck did you do.."
"Jesus, are you ok?"
I ran towards her as fast as I could. She was lying on her back on the ground, completely motionless, her girlfriends were kneeling over her in panic shaking her and asking if she was ok. I knelt to check her out too, and one of the girls violently shoved me away and I did a half roll backward and banged my head on the ground too.
Oh, man… I could feel I was fainting. I must have hit my head on some stone or something. Everything around me was going blur.
Fack. This is not how it was supposed to go.
I come back to my senses in the school infirmary. I open my eyes and see the white ceiling above me. I'm lying on a curtained-off bed. I grunt as I pulled my body up to bring myself down from the bed. For some reason, I feel like my dusty white trainers look pathetic as I slip my feet into them. Nevertheless, I stand on my two feet and stretch my back a little, giving my head a bit of shake. I feel better now. I pull the curtain in front of me wide open, and I see a girl laying on the same kind of bed I was laying on just before. It is her.
She must be the one that left a note of confession on my desk yesterday, with just one sentence written on it "Meet me at the rooftop tomorrow after school". Technically maybe it wasn't a confession yet, but I presumed that's what she was going to do when we indeed meet after school today. I look at her face and luckily there is no sign of any bruise or scar, and she is sleeping soundly. What a pretty face, and what a pair of pretty little slender arms she has folded over her body in a cross, like…eh? This looks like how you position a corpse or like how a vampire sleeps. That is pretty weird.
I should have known it's silly, but before I knew it I was carefully grabbing her upper lip and pulling it upwards to check her teeth, and then she suddenly flashed her eyes wide open
"Whaaaaaaa! I'm sorry!"
"What are you doing?", she asks me, her arms still motionlessly folded over her chest, with just her lips moving.
"I was just checking out your fangs"
"What kind of perversion is that"
"No look, sorry, I didn't mean to. I just thought you were a bit weird…"
"So you kick a ball onto my face, and then follow me to the infirmary to check my fangs, and call me weird?"
"Something like that"
"You know what? I think I'm just gonna scream"
Yikes. She just lay there in her same dead body pose and started to scream from the top of her lungs, and soon enough our school nurse rushed into the room, who happened to be a very bulky strong man.
"What's going on?"
"This freak is doing something perverted"
"You little piece of shit!", the school nurse grabs my right wrist and violently twists and yanks it to my back, while kicking the back of my knees. I instantly drop to the ground and he's on top of me in no time.
"Ouch, that hurts. Sorry this is all a misunderstanding"
"Yes, it is difficult for normal people to understand a pervert like you", the nurse spits out these harsh words between his gritted teeth.
"I didn't do anything. Seriously"
The nurse then turns his head to look at the girl, who is now sitting so tidily on the bed with her two feet dangling down as if to ask her what she thinks. She just kinda looks away and whistles.
"Really, I didn't do anything"
"What were you trying to do?"
"I just wanted to.. check out her fangs.. that's all"
Then the girl burst out laughing. The nurse looked confused for a while and then slowly let go of my wrists.
"I don't know what funny game you are into, but stop messing around in the infirmary. If you are not sick, then get out"
"But he IS sick", the girl chimes in with a mischievous grin.
"You guys, both get out"
So we find ourselves outside the infirmary and the door slides shut with a loud clack behind our back. The girl starts to walk away as if nothing happened, and then I remembered how all this started in the first place.
"What?", she replies without turning her head to face me, just keep pacing forward in lanky strides.
"er.. so what did you want to talk about after school today?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You left a note on my desk yesterday, saying you wanted to meet at the rooftop after school today"
"You received such a note?"
"And you thought it was from me?"
"What made you think that?"
She lifts her right foot and swings it around in one smooth motion, landing a kick right on my crotch
"Sixth sense your balls"
Today's not a good day, I mutter to myself in pain as she turns around and walks away.
I'm in pain from my head to my balls.
The school bell rang finally and everyone's packing to go home. I went over what happened today in my head, and it looks like the note wasn't from this girl. No shit. So stupid of me to get my hopes up and think it was her. Nevertheless, some girl (or at least somebody) wanted to see me after school today. I will at least make my way up and see who it is.
I wait a little while for most students to go home and slowly struggle up the stairs to the rooftop. The metal door was slightly open. I suppose there is at least some glimpse of sweetness waiting on the other side. It may not be a girl I like or someone I could accept, but at least this would be my first receipt of a confession from a girl. I fling the door open and step outside. The sun is setting and the sky looks like a molten core. I take few more steps out to look around, to see who may be there.
I hear the door shut behind me, so I turn around to see who came through.
"Sike! Motherfucker!", just as a massive fist was landing on my face at full force I saw this tall dude with bleached blond hair behind that punch.
The sheer power of the punch sends me hurling onto the ground and I roll once or twice on my side. Fack. Today's a really bad day.
"Remember me?", this delinquent-looking boy asks me with a nasty smile.
"Who are you…? What did I do to you?"
"You got in my way and screwed up my chance before"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
A kick lands on my side. I feel like throwing up.
"So you don't even know how you fucked things up?"
"I have no fucking clue what you are talking about"
The guy stomps on the side of my right knee, and a bolt of pain runs through my leg as my knee gets pressed onto the concrete floor.
"I really hate people like you. Stupid and clueless"
"Jesus, gimme a break. I can't even say sorry if I don't know what the fuck is going on"
Then the blonde dude kneels over me still laying on the ground panting.
"You really don't know?"
"Right, listen up dumbass. Two days ago I was talking to a girl just behind the school, and at the worst possible timing, some dumb fuck puked out of the window above and all that shit landed on my head. And yes, that dumb fuck was you"
I remember I was playing this stupid game with my mate Peko during lunchtime. I had brought a lunchbox full of dumplings and I told him I can fit 15 dumplings in my mouth (which I actually did once when I was in primary school). He said no way, so I ended up shoving them all into my mouth, proudly setting a new record of 18 dumplings. But that didn't end well, I literally bit off more than I could chew and the quickest way to get rid of them without making a mess in the classroom was to puke them out of the window.
"Oh boy. Sorry man... I remember now... but I didn't know anyone got hit..."
"How could you not know! You ruined my life!", this time he kicks me on my ass.
Yes, I guess I deserve some ass-kicking.
"Ouch sorry man. I admit that was really shitty of me. But c'mon that's not exactly 'ruining life' is it?"
"Look bitch. I was in the middle of making a fucking confession to the girl I like, and just as I told her I liked her and before she could answer, your sick shit landed full on my head"
"Whoa, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry!"
Suddenly the guy seemed to have mellowed out. I actually and honestly do feel sorry for him. How horrible that I vomited on his confession. I guess even tough guys have soft spots.
"erm… so what did she say…?"
"She just said 'gross', and then walked away…", I think even this tough guy might have cried a little actually.
"I wish there's anything I can do to make it up to you mate. I sincerely feel sorry"
The guy pauses for thought and then spoke, "Actually yes. Maybe you can make it up to me"
"How? Just tell me what I can do"
"Go talk to that girl again for me. Tell her it was all your fault, and ask her to give me one more chance to confess properly"
"Dude. It's your confession"
"Yes, and you fucking puked all over it"
"Sorry. I will do as you say"
Sigh.. what have I gotten myself into...
"So, who should I speak to?"
"Who is Rika?"
"She's from Class 1A"
"So what do I do?"
"Go find her tomorrow during school, and ask her to come to the rooftop here"
"Why the rooftop?"
"So you won't be fucking puking on my head again you dumb fuck", a very heartfelt thumping kick in my stomach ended the conversation there.
Tomorrow will be another day.