I used to be human.
I do not know how I could know this seeing as I have absolutely no recollection of it, however I am certain that at some point I was human. Before this life… existence… before whatever this state of being classes I was a human. A living, breathing, moving human.
Being without my memories means I have no clue as to what sort of human I was: young or old, male or female, good or evil. I would have thought I could feel which of the latter options I was but unfortunately for me, what is left of my human heart leans more towards evil; after having watched other humans the last 40 years, I can't say I have much hope in being a good person, the chances are low.
Nonetheless, even if I was a person equivalent to Hitler in morals, the fact I was human is concrete.
Not something one would expect to hear from the tree stood by the junction of the main road, opposite the boardwalk by the city park. Of course, one would not expect to hear anything from the tree, or any tree.
There are certain things which I have just known from as far as my memory goes back. Along with the knowledge of being a human in my past life, I know that I am some variation of Ash and that I possess powers that normal trees.
Yes, powers.
Somehow, when I was reborn I gained the power to read minds and influence actions. It is as terrifying a power as it sounds coming with extreme responsibilities, it is not something I even have to think over. A part of me knows it is better to not use the powers to their full extent, I don't know if it is morality or instinct – the more likely reason – but I just know that controlling people's actions would not benefit me in the slightest.
In a way, that self-preserving thought is what makes me certain I was a human, from what I have seen it is only humans who are such selfish creatures; humans and cats.
There are parts of my existence that give reason to this self-preservation. The main one being something I could only explain as a HP gauge. I don't know if it is my way of familiarising myself with whatever strange concept is now part of my life but just as you would have a health gauge in the corner of the screen when playing RPGs, I can almost always see his gauge that I know represents some concept of health.
I am not sure what exactly it represents or what happens when the gauge hits 0, but one thing I am sure of is that when that happened it will not be good for my current existence. Even as a tree, the idea of this being fatal is still enough to put me off.
From what I have seen, the gauge only goes down when I use my powers. Reading minds is not too taxing and after 40 years of experimenting with it, approximately 1HP is equivalent to me using mind-reading rather liberally for 5 years. Well, it is a little more complicated that that. If there is a person that I have to try harder to read it will use more HP so I try not to read those people.
The gauge was at 112 when I was reborn and over the few decades it has dropped to 103. Seeing as I have no known way of increasing my HP, along with my current lifestyle (if the word can be applied to a being that stands in place it's whole life), I had a good 500 years left before I find out what bad occurrence will come form the gauge reaching 0. As a pessimist I doubt I will even live that long, especially on a planet constantly under attack from the supposedly smartest species inhabiting it, so hopefully I will never find out.
I have no idea why I was reincarnated into such a complex and odd being, and after so many years, I have lost the desire to know. Of course at times my mind will start to wonder whether I had a meaningful life, if I was as loved as some of the people I see walking down this boardwalk, or maybe a social pariah like some of the others I have seen, or was I perhaps the scum to society.
It is only once I get too lost in my thoughts I will remember thinking about all this is completely useless. What do I gain from questioning the past life I have no memory of?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Of course there is nothing to gain from my life that only consists in watching other people either but it is much better for my sanity than entertaining my head with questions about my humanity I have no means of getting the answers too.
Besides, there are so many strange and complicated people who come down this boardwalk everyday, it is far more stimulating watching over the plethora of weirdos who come past.
The boardwalk wasn't always a popular area, busy during the mornings, after school and evening, yes, but most places were, especially so close to the school district and a cluster of offices. But in the recent years it has become more popular, and I have no desire to say this in such a conceited way, but it was because of me. Well, my so-called powers.
By that I do not mean my real abilities, there is no way for people to know of that. However there seemed to be some strange rumours that if one was to wish for success or luck in front of me, they would be granted it. The rumours are completely baseless andI have no idea how they started at all, but the belief was very popular, especially among exam student, graduating jobseekers and young couple. And among them are some of the most entertaining people you will find.
In some ways, this rumour had turned the boardwalk into a 24/7 television drama.
This is what had become of my life, watching people. Hearing their problems, on the odd occasion giving a particularly pitiful soul a nudge with a small dose of influence.
And while a small part of me wants to know why I became like this, for now I am very content with my episodic style of life.
Although I do wonder, just how long will this be enough?
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