When I woke up, it was quiet. Isaiah’s bedroom door was closed, and I didn’t hear anything downstairs. For a split moment, there was a pain in my chest from waking up in his bedroom, and not my own… I sat up in the bed and looked around for a moment. It was dim in the room. I would guess it were seven or eight in the morning. That’s when the thought of my phone came to mind. When I moved to get up, I saw my phone was set on the bedside table. I reached for it and turned it on. A message from my mother was still there, along with a new one from Isaiah. I dismissed the one from my mother then unlocked my phone to read Isaiah’s.

Isaiah: Morning Enic. Saw ur phone in the bathroom

this morning. I went to school but I’ll come

straight home afterwards w/ur fav noodles.

My mom will pick u up soon if she hasn’t already

To go shopping. Txt me if u need ANYTHING.

Even if it’s just to talk.

I had noticed two things in that moment after reading the text. One, that was the most he’d ever said in one text on his own and him being the first reply. And second, he knew me so well, making sure not to say anything about the problem, but allowing me to say it if I want. I wondered if he had told his mother as well not to say anything, or if she just didn’t feel right saying anything. I shook my head to clear all the thoughts in my head but one. Water… I got off the bed slowly then made my way downstairs. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a plastic cup before filling it with ice and water from the fridge door. I really like these types of fridges. I thought, trying to keep my mind off things. I chugged all of the water down and placed the cup on the counter before walking to the living room. That’s when I felt it again. A cold feeling. But it wasn’t like before. It was like the cold was holding onto my shoulder. I stopped and looked around me before shaking my head.

I had felt that just before…  I fell to me knees onto the carpet. I wanted to cry. I felt like I was going to. My body was reacting like how it would if it were to cry, but my eyes just couldn’t seem to create the tears. Filled with irritation, hate, and anger towards myself, I let out a scream. I laid my forehead on the floor and hit the carpet with my fist. “Cry you heartless person! Let the tears fall already!” I yelled. But they never came. Maybe because I was cried out. Maybe I had nothing left. Or maybe I really was heartless. Either way, after a moment of breathing heavily, trying to make myself cry, I stood back up and walked upstairs. I didn’t have any clothes yet so I put on the ones from yesterday. Even though I really wanted to burn them. I want to burn everything from that day, just like it burned… I stopped myself from finishing that thought and went downstairs to wait for Alice. I sat in the morning lit living room, in the horrible silence that I wished so badly to end.

When Alice finally came to pick me up, she had said we’d be picking up something to eat, and asked where I wanted to go for breakfast before we went shopping. I didn’t really care so I just said Mcdonald's. The ride was a blur to me. Aside from texting Milani during the the ride about...everything really, I was silent the whole time with a shrug or small nod for yes or no when Alice asked me something, trying to make conversation. Shopping went the same. I didn’t really put much thought into picking clothes, and Alice had picked a few out for me. I felt bad a little. She was trying to get my mind off things, but all I could do was toss in a few baggy shirts and random bland jeans into the basket. Then a thought hit me. How am I supposed to act right now? Should I be holding myself up in a room? Maybe I should be crying right now. I don’t want to be here… But even if I weren’t I still couldn’t. I have no room to hide in. Not my own at least.

I rubbed the ball of my palm on my temple feeling more stressed. Okay, I really need to get a hold of myself. At least for Alice. She’s trying really hard… I thought looking up at Alice who was looking at a shirt that seemed to catch her interest. I saw an electric blue in the corner that caught my attention. Oh no.... I thought as I looked over, seeing Jake. A girl came up and I narrowed my eyes to see more. It was the girl that had been glaring at me before with Connor. I had texted Milani about her and found out her name is Blake Espen, and apparently, Connor’s latest yet oldest on again-off again ex girlfriend. How did I not know? Well, I don’t really hear much around me unless my friends tell me. Which doesn’t happen often. Jake caught my eye and smiled brightly before nudging Blake. When she looked at him then to me-- because he pointed to me-- she glared again. Coldly. I looked away awkwardly, not wanting to look anymore. Again, the universe was against me, and they started to walk over. “Uh- Alice?” I called to her as she looked at the shirt. She looked at me as though shocked that I spoke. “You should try that on. I think it’d look nice on you. I wanna see.” I said. I couldn’t have her here-- if they say anything she isn’t okay with, she’d defend me and I don’t want to make a big deal of things with them. When she hesitated I gave in and forced the most of a smile I could manage and nodded. It felt more like a grimace but it must have been okay because right away Alice’s face lightened up with a smile and she nodded before walking off to the dressing room.

Just as she entered a stall, a tap was sent to my shoulder. “Hey coco!” a low voice said cheerfully. I turned around and saw Jake. Boy was Jake tall. Not as tall as Connor and definitely not as tall as Isaiah, but he was tall. With his look, you bet I would be intimidated if it weren’t for… “Coco?” I said in question. “Yeah. Connor said you remind him of a co-ugh!” He grunted as Blake had elbowed him in his stomach. “Erhm.. Right uh, so have you changed your mind about my invitation?” He asked and I swear I felt a pang of hurt and anger. “My home was just burned to a crisp… And you think I want to ‘hang out’ with you at your place?” I said with disgust. He looked at me shocked and confused almost. I rolled my eyes and waved a hand. “Jeez, just go! Please. Now, before Alice comes out.” I said turning around to face the basket. They didn’t say anything, and I wasn’t sure if they walked away or not, because it was so quiet. Alice had stepped out not even three seconds after I had turned. When I turned around to see if they were still behind me, they were gone.

I think they took the message, finally. I never heard from Jake, Amy, Blake, Raith, or even Connor. I never saw them around school for the rest of the school year. But I still felt those chills. And sometimes I swear I would think I heard feet dragging or walking behind us when I walked home with Isaiah. I’d even see glimpses of the black gunk on the ground or on my clothes. Weird things happened even more when Alice had found a new two-story house with a field next to it that belonged to the neighbors. During summer, my birthday had passed. I was now seventeen, and soon to be a junior in high school. Time goes by quick. Whether you like or not.