-Hiro-

Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod!

I couldn't believe what was happening. I was finally kissing Yoru! It actually felt way better than I'd ever imagined. His soft lips pressed on mine made me do a double take and touch the back of his head, because I wanted to make sure that he was really there. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't dreaming. We were giving each other light kisses for just a few seconds, but I was already craving for more. I took the initiative to slip my tongue out, so that I deepen our kiss. Yoru returned the gesture and it immediately sent shivers up and down my spine. I moved my hands down to his waist without opening my eyes. I lifted his shirt just enough for my hands to make contact with his bare skin and I loved that I could feel him react to my touch. His body was getting hotter and I think I could feel him shuddering when I changed the pace of our kiss again. I couldn't tell whose heart was beating faster, but I knew for sure that I was the one who almost groaned when his hips started moving on their own on top of mine. I was almost out of breath, so I pulled away, breaking our kiss and wishing I had a better breathing system. We were just staring at each other in silence, trying to catch our breath.

"Uhm..." Yoru paused. "I... uhm... I don't know what you-"

"Just don't talk right now." I said, pressing my finger to his mouth. 

"I know. This is something new for you and you don't know if you really wanted it or if you just got caught in the moment. Nothing I haven't heard before." He didn't say anything back, so I guessed I was right. It hurt me that he wasn't feeling the same way, but I couldn't do anything about it. In the end, I didn't want to scare him off, so I decided to play it safe and act as if the kiss wasn't a big deal."Look, you don't need to overthink this. It just kind of happened, okay? I'm not asking you out or anything."

"Ask me out?" he shook his head and added "Wait, I thought you were straight."

"Dude, the only thing straight about me is my hair," I teased him, trying to sound confident. "I thought you knew."

"How would I? You've never talked about it and it's not like I go around assuming people's sexuality," Yoru explained.

"You just assumed I was straight though," I said grinning.

"Fine, sorry. Anyway. It's late and I need sleep. You do too," he said, obviously trying to avoid the conversation.

"You're right. I should probably just go," I said, turning my head away because I couldn't meet his eyes.

"You can still stay the night if you want," he reassured me, but I was too embarrassed to stay.

"No, it's okay. We'll talk tomorrow," I insisted. I was trying to sound as convincing as possible, but the truth is that I wasn't okay at all. I don't think he'd noticed, but I was on an emotional roller-coaster ever since our lips touched and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. I didn't know how to accept the fact that I got caught on all these one-sided feelings. Deep down, I wished that he wouldn't let me go. I wished that he'd feel the same. Though instead of not letting me go, he just nodded and waited for me to grab my stuff. "God I'm so stupid. Why am I doing this to myself? The right thing to do is to simply move on," I said to myself.

There I was, walking down the stairs, regretting every step that I took. By that time, it felt like everything was over. I've decided that I'd start keeping Yoru at arm's length as soon as I'd step out his door. This would be the only way for me to move on, or at least to not fall any deeper. I had already made up my mind, but I couldn't get rid of a tiny voice in me, whispering I should just tell him how I feel. The voice kept growing and growing, making me wonder what would happen if I'd listen to it. "Maybe it won't be too bad. The worse that can happen is for us to stop talking altogether," is what kept echoing in my head. By then, Yoru was almost about to unlock the door for me. I needed to do something. I couldn't just act like I only wanted him to be my friend. I was too scared to let him know that, but lying to myself would hurt me more than a plain rejection. I figured that I wouldn't be able to handle seeing him everyday if I had to keep on struggling on my own with how I was feeling. That's when that little voice inside my head took over. I already knew that it would be better for me to get rejected and move on, rather than wondering if we could ever be together; so I decided to go all in.

"Yoru?" I said as I was standing in front of the door.

"Hm?"

"I just want you to know something."

"What is it now? Did you suddenly decide you can stay over agai-"

"I like you."