Draft saved 20/12/2015, 23.17

From: mandy1296@ynet.com

To: stanleylj@gnet.com

Hey Stan,

I've tried to recall the moments that led to you actually telling me how you felt and how I reacted...and I've realized that I couldn't have done it any differently.

I replied to your texts honestly and I can still recall how heavy my heart felt when I pressed send. I knew the instant I opened the texts that it would not end well. I remember how scared I was that you'd treat me differently after reading what I said and you did. But did you know that I actually loved you? You were the closest person I had and to you, that didn't mean anything since you wanted me to be more than just your friend. I honestly thought that our friendship would surpass more than the mere cliché that best friends could or should be lovers, but I guess it didn't and, I didn't want to be your girlfriend. Didn't my opinion count?

The months that followed were brutal. I still can't believe what you did after I said no. I honestly don't see the logic behind your reaction. At all. What's worse, I know that I actually took part in it since I'm not the type of person that struggles to keep something a float if all it fucking wants to do is sink. Forgive my cussing but I see no other way I could explain this to you.

Why and how did I become so invisible to you? How did nearly a year's worth of friendship just poof, vanish? You could barely glance my way or even say a simple hello...I mean, weren't we mature enough to cope with heartache? I tried. I tried so hard not to feel like a total shit face but what you did next took the cake. And I, saw no point in caring after that...or so I thought.

Mandy.