I was the last one of my people left and was only a few new moons past nine. Sparrow, my greyish white wolf, was with me and there was Rose. Otherwise, I was alone with only forest fairies and the animals.

That was the night I felt fear again. I felt young and alone and had no idea how I would make it. For three days I didn’t speak. Mother was too weak to force me, but Rose and Sparrow both pressured me to eat; which I did, but barely. It was all pointless, being the only one left.

After those three days in mourning I began preparations. I found a spot by the lake to gather the wood for the fire. I would reuse the pallet built for the others and the oil from the barrels now stored near the water. The rope tied to the pallet was secured to a large redwood that was home to countless woodland creatures. It was strong enough to make sure the pallet didn’t drift away on the water and so I could pull it back. Why? Because that is how we always did it.

As I drug wood and rope, I thought of what I had to do. I would have nothing left of her after this. Her body would be gone, returned to ashes. I reminded myself that she wouldn’t need this body again after she left it. If by some miracle she ever returned she could create a new one.

Several more days passed after I’d done my preparations before I finally convinced her to leave our home for the small two room cottage by the lake. She understood why I needed us to go now. It would be enough work moving her even if we were already at the lake. I could not take her body from our home to the woods alone.

All the while, I felt like all she’d ever taught me was wasted. The only thing I wanted was for the magic to keep her alive. I wished I could give her some of whatever I had that didn’t let me get sick.

Rose had to remind me to eat and Sparrow never left my side. Sparrow had given me comfort as I mourned and just like me, she knew that I was alone and the forest would never be the same. I longed to speak to her like we used to, when the people and animals and fairies could all talk to each other.

Sparrow had been my best friend, especially when my other friends kept leaving and there were fewer and fewer people. It was in the year after the first deaths that the animals could no longer speak to us. My heart broke when my words were lost on Sparrow. I could feel that Sparrow’s heart broke too.

She was still my constant companion and had been for as long as I could remember. We were both much smaller when our bond began. She knew me better than anyone in the forest ever had and even though we could no longer use words, we could understand each other in a new and special way. I was grateful for that. She was as much a part of me as anything had ever been.

It is this bond that saved me.

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