I open my eyes once more to Yhanna’s living room. I’m lying on the couch in a comforter and the television is on. On it, a man is telling me about a product I ‘must have,’ which is something to do with leaks and black tape. I think about what had happened. Was that a dream? I lift up my hand to my face and look at my wrist, now seeing it to be completely unscathed. Huh, a dream.

“You’re awake,” I hear Yhanna to my right. I look over and she is sitting on her knees at the table. She looks like she is in the middle of eating and she is wearing one of her sets of pajamas.

“How long was I asleep?” I ask her, feeling groggy as I realize it feels like it’s morning, but the setting sun can be seen through the window.

“Most of the day, but that’s fine. You were acting a little weird after you got home, so I checked your temperature and you were running a pretty high fever, so I gave you some herbal soup and let you rest it off.” I was sick? I guess that makes sense, right. Probably just bad dreams from the fever.

I shift myself to sit up. “So, what’s on the agenda for tonight?” I ask her, expecting another night out at another gathering.

“You and I are most certainly not going anywhere, Emily, in case you’re still sick.” Well, that’s a pleasant surprise. “You’re going to stay there and relax, so get comfortable.”

“Mm,” I groan with a stretch. “Already am,” I smile. On the television, I see a banner under the reporter that says ‘WINTER STORMS INCOMING.’ “Why do seasons still affect Ascentia and Descentia? Don’t you think a deity would have dealt with that by now?”

“I thought they already had when I became a goddess, but I suppose Frelysia didn’t like the idea.” Right, Frelysia, High Goddess of Winter (‘High’ Goddess for how she is ascended past a physical form, which is a term I only recently learned after having been in Ascentia so often). “I’d prefer if she didn’t still affect these two worlds. It gets cold in here.” I notice for the first time how her shoulders are shivering, something I actually haven’t seen before from her. It makes Yhanna seem more mortal, which is something I like about a god or goddess: traces of humanity.

“Well, don’t let me hog all the covers, then.” I move my legs closer to myself so as not to take up the whole couch. Yhanna hesitates, but then gets up and moves over in her corner of the couch and slips her feet under the comforter. “Better?” I ask.

“Better. Emily, may I ask you something?”

“Of course, Goddess.”

She seems to have trouble asking the question, but manages to get it right in her head and slowly asks, “What... exactly do you usually dream about?”

“What do I dream about? Hm...” Odd question, but I guess I do sleep talk sometimes. “Usually just about things that have happened in the past. Why do you ask?”

“I’m curious, is all. Is there anything your mind usually steers towards?”

“Oh, a lot of it is about my mother. I wish I could have understood her reasoning for wanting to purge my corruption, but now I don’t even know for sure if she is alive.”

“You’ve heard the stories of the enchanter lately, right?”

“The person making insane enchantments all around Everencia? Mhm.”

“Do you think it’s her, Emily?”

“...I’m afraid to find out. I mean, what would I even say to her? ‘Hi, sorry for getting you stabbed last time I saw you, Mom’?”

“You should apologize and try to make amends. You two are both incredibly talented women, you’ve just had some rough patches. Emily, what are you doing?”

I look up from my Lightbeam. “Sorry, I was just checking if Lucelle answered me yet. She hasn’t.”

“Are you missing your friends?”

I nod. “I’m afraid that I ruined our friendship by being away so long.”

“I’m sure they understand. You know, people have lives to live, ones that may split paths from yours.”

“I guess so. I’m just afraid to be alone again.”

“Again?” She seems intrigued.

“Like when I go places alone, I never feel alone, you know? I feel like I’m being watched by someone... or something.”

“Are you sure you’re not just paranoid, child?”

“I could be, but it still worries me. What if there is something actually there?”

“Emily, do you think that... maybe you just imagine things too much? You know, like when you start walking around in the middle of the night in search of some beast?”

“You mean Algathan.”

“...Right. Emily, I don’t think those things you think are there are actually there.”

“B-but I dream of them. Where do they come from if I have such vivid memories of them?”

She shakes her head at me. “Emily, the mind works in mysterious ways sometimes.”

“But not mine. I know when something I see is real, I know it.”

“I’m not trying to argue with you, but you need to realize that you’re hurt.”

“What- what do you mean, ‘hurt’?” I shift my body to sit a bit straighter. “I’m fine, there’s just things out there that want to get at me.”

“Is that why you summoned those phantoms when we visited The Gardens at night?”

“Phantoms, what? You mean Razen? No, she isn’t a phantom, she’s one of my allies.”

Once again, she shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Emily, but she was very clearly not real.”

“No, she’s real. I know she is. Otherwise, how could I have done so many things without her?”

“Because of what I said before. You are incredibly talented.”

“N-no, I’m not... I’m a murderer.” Great, I feel tears trying to push to the front of my eyes.

“Emily, not that again... We talked about this.” We did; she gets upset when I bring up the people I’ve killed. There’s something about being associated with a cold-blooded murderer that makes her not want to be around me, I think.

“But it’s true. I’ve hurt a lot of people. I thought I left you after dinner last night to go hurt more people, but I guess that was just a dream.”

“Alright, look. It wasn’t a dream, but I wanted you to think it was. Emily, you were brought back to me by Lucelle and Elyse. They said they found you in some empty facility in the Void mumbling about a monster you called ‘Algathan.’ Your wrist was injured and we agreed that you did it to yourself.”

I’m completely dumbfounded. She lied to me about being sick? She made me think something I did was a dream? “Yhannason... you didn’t tell me it was true... You said I came home on my own.”

“I know what I said, and I’m sorry, but you are a threat to yourself, Emily. You need to stop blaming something else for giving you nightmares and start talking about how you’re still plagued by the things you’ve done and people you’ve killed.”

I reposition myself and stand up. “No, what I need to do is find and kill Algathan, and then I’ll be free again to decide if I even want to stay around here with a goddess that lies to me.”

“Emily, please, it’s for your own good. If you really want to find what is causing these problems, you need to look at yourself.”

I feel myself heating up, but I don’t want to be angry at her. I whip around and shove my way through the door to leave, keeping my eyes squeezed shut to keep myself from breaking down. I throw the door closed probably a bit too hard and go forward to find the doorknob to my apartment, but it’s not there. I open my eyes and see that I’m completely alone in a world of nothing. It isn’t the Void by any means, yet it still has that feeling of solitude. Behind me, the door is still there. Ahead and all around, I am alone. 

I press my sleeve against my eyes and wipe my face off. “If this is how you want to play, then fine.” My Lightbeam begins to vibrate, so I undo the strap and toss it away. "Psh, I don't need you anyway. I don't need any of you. No, not at all..."