“I bet you a thousand credits that my dad won’t be in that courtroom,” I say.

My escort slams his gun into my back. “Criminals should keep their mouths shut.”

“Why are you being so harsh?” I ask. “I’m already on good behaviour. There are hundreds of slavers in cuffs because of me. And I’m going to this trial, right? That’s something.”

“You don’t have a choice in the matter. We’ve already arrested you. You’re being forced to stand trial for your crimes against-.”

I burst into laughter. “Oh, you had me going for a moment there! Seriously, you could be a comedian or something. I’m being ‘forced’. Yeah right.”

“I-I don’t understand. Why are you still laughing? This is a serious matter.”

The judge walks past us, acknowledging my wide grin with a frown. “Just ignore her. This will be over soon enough.”

“Wishful thinking!” I call, as my escort leads me into the courtroom.

This is only the start, after all.

*

“I’m Valentina Mayes, a thirty-four year old human mercenary. My wife of eight and a half years, Yana, was a Torl paediatric doctor, but she was killed last year by slavers for not finishing a job. On December 13th, 2217, I unknowingly protected a shipment of slaves on Calitrexia. On December 20th, I helped free those same slaves, who turned out to be children. On December 27th, I killed an assassin responsible for igniting civil wars on twelve different planets.

“On January 3rd, 2218, I killed four Torl enforcers out of self-defence while visiting Yana’s grave on the anniversary of her death. On January 10th, I blew up the Torline Enforcer Headquarters, after doing it ten years prior. On January 17th, I protected a medical freighter under siege from pirates. On January 24th, I shot Yana’s killer in the face. On January 31st, I escaped enforcers repeatedly and discovered the galaxy’s vast network of slavers.

“On February 7th, I returned to Calitrexia to deliver a severe blow to their slave traders. On February 14th, I helped Calitrexians revolt against their oppressors and drive slavery from their planet. On February 21st, I followed Calitrexia’s slavers to Vimos Station where bounty hunters were waiting for me.

“On March 1st, I led all of the slaves off Vimos Station and crippled the slave industry. On March 7th, I swept tavern floors and stole from a museum. On March 14th, I found the remnants of the slave network on Earth. On March 21st, I discovered a bakery to be the slave market’s front. On March 28th, I fooled slavers into believing that I only cared about money and destroyed their entire operation from the inside. And today, on April 4th, I stand accused for crimes against the galaxy.

“Because apparently some people, namely pain in the butt enforcers, believe that what I do is somehow illegal. Well to put their worried little minds to rest, there is my personal account of the jobs I did on this side of the galaxy, where you can clearly see that I never broke the law, unless I was paid to beforehand, which definitely doesn’t count.”

Spectators whisper to each other, while the judge watches me silently. They raise their hand and the room goes silent. “I sentence you to two months in prison and an official warning that should you be caught breaking the law again, under any circumstances, you will receive a life sentence. You may be getting off easy this time, but it will not happen again. Do you understand?”

“Of course,” I smirk. “Don’t get caught next time.”

The few laughs from the spectators are cut short by the judge. “Somebody take this idiot away.”

Two enforcers flank me, grabbing hold of an arm each and roughly shoving me towards the side door. “If anybody needs the galaxy’s best mercenary, I’ll be available in June!” I shout.

“Do you ever shut up?” one of the enforcers asks, pushing me through the door.

I twist my head around to the court room. “Half payment up front, a guarantee that I’ll finish the job and half the payment when I do! Those are my terms; contact me for yours!”

The enforcers slam the court room door closed and grumpily escort me to my temporary holding cell. Before I met Yana, I’d have broken out of custody before getting to this point and not worried about the consequences until I met another enforcer. She used to hate that about me, always going on about learning to face the price for my actions instead of running away from my problems. I guess she did manage to change at least that about me. So I’ll wait for these two months to end. Then I’ll go back to what I do best, getting paid for the things people don’t want to do themselves.

Plus, I’ve just managed to piss off a whole bunch of powerful people. Prison’s the safest place I can be. Why else would I have let myself get caught?