Tuesday seemed to go by in a blur, but I think it was because of all my thoughts distracting me throughout my classes. Milani even started getting annoyed having to repeat herself when she was talking to me. I felt bad, but I couldn’t help it. I had so much on my mind, I was getting lost so easily. The worst part was, I couldn’t tell her any of it.

When Wednesday came came along, I told Alice and Isaiah I had boxing practice after school, so I’d be home late. Alice took the lie, but Isaiah wasn’t buying it. However, when the time came, I told him the truth. Again, mostly. I told him I was going with Connor and his friends to practice and work out. Which could be very true. At the site, there was a lot of gym equipment that I would guess they use to keep muscle when fighting the zombies. I left out the part where the practice place was, and the little fact the there are real weapons there as well. He still didn’t seem to buy it, but I think it was because I’d be with Connor. Even still, I left with them to the site. I rode with Amy in hopes to ease Isaiah since I’d be riding with… well, someone that isn’t Connor.

When we got there, there were two other guys there that I didn’t know or recognize. Connor stood beside me then pointed at them. “The blond guy is Alister, and the asian one is Kenneth.” He said, then pulled my arm through a door to another room. It was a cemented floor that we walked onto, and there were lockers there as well. A counter with a sink was at the end of the room, there seemed to be a shower area, but I wasn’t sure if they actually used it like I was thinking they would. There was also two small round tables next to the entrance with metal chairs; that’s where we sat. “Alright. What questions do you have? You have twenty minutes.” He said as he set down his phone. Is he literally timing us?! I shook my head and instantly started asking questions, not wanting to waste a single second.

“Why wasn’t I able to see the...Zombies.. Before now? Why couldn’t I see them before?” I asked as I sat up in my chair. “It’s different for everyone. Some people are born able to see them, others start to later on in life. You started to after a traumatic experience, and that woke up the ability.” He said naturally. I went on to my next question. “How many other hunters are there in town? Do they all go to school? Are there some people that can see but don’t realize what it is they’re-” I went on but he interrupted. “Woah woah woah. Slow down!” He said holding up his hands. “Okay, there are seven in my crew that I know of- that’s including me. I’m sure there might be one or two others out there but it isn’t likely considering we never ran into others. However, my dad is a hunter, but he doesn’t go out much unless we need someone to fill in a shift. There is also a doctor that can see them but he doesn’t fight. He helps us out though, whenever we need supplies or get hurt. In a way, I guess you could say he pays for our funds.” Connor said with a shrug. I leaned in the more I became interested, then asked another question.

“How long have you and the others been able to see them?” I asked curiously. “I’ve been able to see them since I was ten, when my grandpa died, but I’ve always known about them because of my dad. Amy learned about them from Blake during an incident they had together, but Blake had always been able to see them. The others all have their own more personal stories. You’d have to ask them.” Connor said, saying the last bit in a more sad tone. There was moment of silence before I realized I was wasting time to get answers. One last try... "You asked me about the things I saw after the accident… before you told me anything about the zombies. What made you think I would see anything? A lot of people go through traumatic experiences. Why did you think I would see them? What separated me from others?”

He sat back, rubbing his hands on his jean pockets letting out a sigh. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry, Enic. It's not my place to say. I let out a rugged sigh of my own before nodding and squaring my shoulders, sitting up higher. I lifted my chin, looking him in the eye. “Okay.. One last question.” I said glancing at his phone and seeing I still had another five minutes. “When do I get to start training to help out?” I knew he wouldn’t tell me anything that made me involved in this deeper, so I have to find out on my own. I didn’t know exactly how I’ll find out, but I know the first step to doing so. I need to become a hunter. I need to get closer.

“You can start getting ready to train.” He said with a smirk now. “Nothing to big. You’re new.” I roll my eyes. “I bet I could take you down.” I said sitting straight. He shakes his head. “Alright, we can spar on the mats then if you think you’re so tough.” He says standing up and offering a hand to me. “Uh, without weapons.” I say getting up on my own. He frowns then nods before leading us out and walking over to two large wrestling mats. “Take that side.” He says standing furthest from the exit. The site is a large barn in a field near Connor’s house. Though, I don’t think it was always here. All the other houses had fields but no barns. I would guess that they had had it built for this specific purpose.

I walk over and stand across from him. “Uh.. Can I get my bag first? I want to get something from it.” I ask him and he nods. I walk outside and go over to Amy’s jeep, grabbing my school bag and then coming back. I head over to the back room first, seeing him talking to Blake along the way, and slip inside. I locked the door behind me and right away started changing. I was wearing a black tank-top with a flannel and jeans. I take off my jeans and pull out a pair of gray gym shorts. They were something Alice had gotten me for boxing but they were a size or two too big. I step into the shorts till I heard a locker door close. I look up and see Jake walking around the corner. Instantly I freeze as he looks at me shocked. My hands start to sweat and my muscles tighten. Jake’s cheeks look like they're turning red and he looked completely bewildered. After what felt like forever, he covered his mouth with a hand and turned around. “Uh- I uh… sorry, I didn’t know you were…” He stuttered. Looking at his back now, I pulled my shorts up quickly and put my things in my bag, along with the flannel. “I-it’s fine. It’s my fault, I should have checked the room first.” I said frantically while I take out a pair of black gloves I’d bought from the place I boxed at.

“You, you can turn around now.” I say to him, and he turns around, a hand still covering half his face. I was embarrassed but, he looks more embarrassed than me. Which was odd since I was the one half naked. “Are you okay..?” I ask him carefully. He clears his throat and nods. “Yeah.” He mutters and walks over. Looking at me for a second before reaching out, then around me, opening the door. “Excuse me…” He murmurs and I move away. He walks out and I follow close behind him. I walk over to Connor who was now in the middle of the room on the mats. “Okay. Ready.” I said easily. “Uh...did you?” He starts but doesn’t finish his question. I didn’t notice it before but I realized that everyone was looking at me. Oh… super. They realize what happened. I nod slightly as though to keep it hidden. I lower my voice as I tell him, “Yeah, uh. I didn’t know anyone was in there.” Connor smirks looking down. “Alright. Stand over there. We can go ahead and start now.” He says stepping back. I slid my black gloves on and lifted my fists into position. “Boxing? I thought this was wrestling?” Connor says laughing. I shake my head. “Nope. We gonna start or are you chickening out?” I say with a straight face looking at him. He laughs and shakes his head. “No.” He says, lifting his fists up.

We walk around three times. When I realize he wants me to make the first move, I do. However, there was something he doesn’t know. In boxing, I'm one of the best fighters, but not for fighting fair. My coach, or teacher, or whatever it is you want to call them, I call him Josh. He knows my skills, and he knows how I play. Which is why I'm the one they use whenever they want to help someone train their reaction skills. Other students often play by the book, therefore they know what their opponent would do. They rely on that, which wasn’t always good. Because I fought differently, they use me to force them into using reflexes, not the book.

I'm a cheater to most people. I use moves that weren’t in boxing sometimes. I keep going when I'm not supposed to. Connor has the upper hand here with experience so it didn’t matter if I cheated or didn’t play fair. So I moved forward, swinging towards his face. Instantly he reacted to block. I drop myself low, kicking out my leg, causing him to trip. He catches himself though and by the time I stand up, he's already swinging. He makes contact with my cheek, but he holds back. Instantly, igniting a fire in me. He held back. He isn’t giving his all! I kick my leg to his side, and he catches it as I expected. I count on his strength for my next move. I jump up lifting my leg over his shoulder while he held onto my other leg. I stretch my upper half straight out away from him, forcing him off balance. He drops my leg as he falls forward, putting his hands out to catch himself.

I get up as he starts to stand. Moving quickly, I climb over him, and put an arm around his neck, holding him still. “Ah- you play dirty, I see.” He chokes out. I can tell he was smirking when he said that. I don’t say anything. He was holding back before. I don’t want him to do it again. It's not fair that way. “Don’t go easy on me.” I say in a stern voice. I feel something change in him when he tenses then relaxes before ripping my arms off him then turning around, standing. He lifts a fist and hits me in the face. I react, stumbling, but that doesn't stop me. Unable to see straight I rely on my other senses. Sound, feel, and definitely smell. I could hear the sound off whispers and the rustling of his clothing. I could smell his cologne mixing with many other smells; it stung my nose. The odor of strong clean scents, like body spray and soap, mixing with the odor of sweat and something I couldn’t place. It was covered by the others but I could tell that if it were stronger, I’d hate it.

I feel him step forward on the mat and instantly I drop, holding myself up with a hand on the floor. Dots that had formed in my eyesight before now start clearing out and I can see again a little better. As welcoming as a bird flying into a window, I see Connor’s knee inching it’s way to my face. I move my head over and set a hand on his knee. Right away, with a swift movement from my part, the momentum in his knee switches in another direction. Without a target to hit, his knee continues on its path till he makes his efforts to stop the action and start anew. To late. I jump off, blood boiling, and tackle him. With one leg still in the air, he tumbles to the ground. Rolling on his back and I sit on his stomach. “Oh I have a vague memory this position.” He says with a smirk, and I fight a smile feeling consumed with my anger. Anger for what? I don’t waste time as I fist my hands and made contact with his cheek, then the other. I continue as I feel the anger start to ease with each hit. His face becoming battered but after the seventh hit, I realize he's letting me hit him. My punches become weaker, and my arms start to feel like jelly. What is this feeling I have in my chest? It felt heavy and my breathing started to feel shallow. When I stop and lay my hands on his chest, his warm rough hands move up my arms. I know that gesture. It was what he did when I was upset and he was going to pull me into a hug, telling me everything is going to be okay.

But like two magnets both set on the same charge, his hands move away, leaving my skin cold. I don’t even know what I'm feeling right now. I can’t comprehend it. I feel like crying but that's something I haven’t been able to since the accident. No matter how hard I had tried over the summer at night, I never shed a single tear.

Connor lifts me off him and stands up before pulling me up to his side. “Come on.” He grunts before leading me to the back room again. I swear I think I’d been in this room too many times for the day. Even still, he checks the room looking behind the wall of lockers then comes back to me. I stand in front of the closed metal door as he takes me into his arms. I stand there frozen in confusion. Does he know what I felt? Does he know I couldn’t cry? Did he bring me here because everyone was watching us? Was everyone watching us? I hated making a scene but it seems like that’s all I’ve been doing, and that makes me hate myself a little for it.

“It’s okay. You can cry now.” He says in the soft low voice that used to always lull me into a relaxing state. It still does. His six words-- two small sentences-- answered all four of my questions. He only knows a little of what I felt. No, he doesn’t know I couldn’t cry. People were watching us. That's why he brought me here. The heavy feeling in my chest starts to lift and I push him off me. “No. It isn’t okay.” I don’t know how it isn’t but I know it isn’t. And I can’t cry. I also don’t know why I can’t. It’s something I used to ask myself every day but then eventually I stopped. I shake my head clearing my thoughts and look up at Connor. The look on his face showed that he pitied me. I don’t want his pity. “I should get home.” I lie. I still have a little more than an hour but he doesn’t need to know that right now. He nods and steps back. “I’ll get Amy to give you a ride home.” And with that he leaves the room, leaving me in silence. After a moment I grab my bag in a rush motion, stepping out of the cold room. Amy's at the exit already waiting.