“The gods give us what we need, not what we want.” he lectured, with a smile. “But I don’t see failure if you keep with your fundamentals.”

“Sweetheart you’re boring the children.” Auntie giggled. “You should be hyping Hildr up and pumping adrenaline through her veins, not boring her with rhetoric.” She rolled her eyes. “They will get plenty of that from the gyoja.”

“Lady Raisa is the greatest person ever!” I shout, Demyan smiled. We had entered the woods that smelled of pine and cooking and warmth, the light of the hall in sight.

“All are welcome their opinion, my favorite niece.” Auntie said, rustling my hair. “No matter how wrong it is.”

“Come now...” Uncle sighed. “A bit unfair, love.”

“All I’m saying is she could use a few new stories.”

“We’d have to have new heroes doing great things for that, Mother.” Demyan said.

“I suppose you’re right.” Auntie hummed.

“I’ll give her and everyone new stories!” I shout proudly, as we moved around the hall to a nearby shed where the people unloaded their bundles of wood.

“I’m sure you shall.” Uncle chuckled.

“I cannot wait!” Auntie giggled.

“Nor can I wait to regale us all with them, young Hildr.” Gyoja Raisa smiled, leaning on her staff at the entrance of the shack, as two adults stacked the wood as neatly and efficiently as possible. “Hopefully in a manner that would entertain even you, Vada.” she said with a huff.

Auntie stuck out her bottom lip like a scolded child. It made me giggle and Demyan shake his head.

Gyoja tutted. “Now. None of that. You are the adult and tonight is not about you is it?” She said, before turning to me. “Come, warrior of Thor. You will want time to prepare, yes?”

“Did I have the largest bundle?” I demanded.

“Yes of course you did.” Gyoja said, impatiently, leading me, hand on the back of my head. “Now hush, no time for such unimportant matters.”

She lead me down a wide grassy path, cleared of snow. It lead to a small clearing spotted with arenas lined with wooden shields and weapons. My uncle traveled the world. He tells us stories sometimes of how other people practiced religion. How they preached peace in their stone buildings, and were the first to kick down.

But we were of Asatru. We practice defense as we praised the gods. And we were communists. We had no castes. Only comrades. Peace for its own sake breeds contempt, he’d say, but working through aggression breeds camaraderie, and shows we are all equal.

The unions allow our hall, our feasts, and our combat. It is good for morale, they say. Volya and I would battle. I would win. I would hold it over him. But one day, we will be shoulder to shoulder. Because at the end of the day, we are comrades and we are guided by the Aesir.

I understood some of this, but most I did not. But it meant that things could be ended easily and smoothly. And it meant the adults would not be angry when I gave Volya a fat cheek. Fatter than normal.

A large hand patted me hard on the back. I jerked slightly the first time, but stood tall the other three. “There is my proudest student!” Came the booming laughter of Gothi Cadoc. “Are you yet ready, Hildr the Wild?” He grinned.

I looked up, craning my neck high. He had a long braid in his hair and a long, braided beard. His smile showed teeth and he was covered in ink. In his love of the gods. He was as proud a pagan as could be. And he was worthy of honor. He had my respect. “With your lessons and the grace of the gods, always, Gothi!” I grinned.

He boomed at that. “Well let’s see if the lessons hold!” He lead me to a sparring area. As I moved to pick from the practice weapons, I could see Volya and his father. His father was not happy. He was not a good communist. Unhappy with his station.

A finger gently pushed my temple. It brought me back to reality. I turned to see Nikolai, smiling lovingly. He was kneeled down to be eye level. “I hope you do not lose focus so easily later, dearest sister.”

I puffed out my cheeks, declaring, “I was studying my opponent!”

“Which allowed me to sneak up on you.” I stuck my tongue out at him. “Come,” He said, holding out his hand. “Uncle is about to make the toast.”

“But practice-” I started.

“Will come later.” Gothi Cadoc interrupted. “For now, it is time to listen to your Jarl and to join your kindred in praise of Thor.”

“I praise Thor through combat.” I argued.

“Well now we’re going to do it with food and community.” Nikolai said, as he led me back to the hall. “And plenty of sweets.”

“I like sweets.” I said, grumpily.

“I’m aware.”

We entered the hall, and I was embraced with community. Warm cut away the numbness brought on from the winter night in bright slices. Conversation and music filled my soul, knocking away any anxiety. Smell reminded me of the hunger that went ignored for most of the day. I loved my kindred, and only ever had to come home to remember why.

Nikolai and I moved forward, gently pushing past the crowds to find our parents. Near the front, not far from where Demyan and his family sat, at the head of the hall, were where our gyoja parents sat, two spaces open between them. I quickly scooted in next to Papa, and waved across the way at Dimitri, who beamed back lifting up a leg of meat in salute. Nikolai sat beside me, and started making a plate for me, as I pointed at what I wanted. A mixture of dinner and dessert. Mama never understood why one needed to come before the other.

A moment later, a few people started banging rhythmically on the table as Uncle stood. I joined them and was the most enthusiastic. Uncle smiled at the kindred he swore to protect, Gyoja and Gothi on either side of him. Finally, he raised his hand, and the banging slowly ended. “Comrades,” He shouted, lovingly, “We are almost at years end. We are blessed to have survived the hardships of it all with not a one of us lost.” He paused as the hall filled with an approving and grateful roar. “But that does not mean we are safe. For our safety, and our comfort is by the grace of the unions and the gods, and winter is just getting started.” He smiled, taking the time to look at each visible face before him, and raised the hand where he wore his torc up high, “So please, join me, Gyoja Raisa and Gothi Cadoc as we give praise to mighty Thor! And that we ask of him, this, his night, Tunderman’s Night, to continue to preserve us through any and all winter storms.” he reached for a drinking horn and held it up high.”THOR!” he shouted.

“THOR!!” The hall rang out, followed by cheers, and continuations of merriment, as Uncle took his seat.

I drummed happily on the table, soaking up the buzz and excitement around me. It was a good night. I could not wait to fight. Win or lose it would be grand. And I could not wait to win.

“Jitters, my little warrior?” Father asked, leaning down to me. His beard tickled my ear and I giggled.

“Of excitement, Papa!” I cheered, leaning into him. “When are the duels?”

“Soon enough.” he replied, passing a horn to Nikolai, who accepted, clinking it against Papa’s, then Mama’s. Nikolai did not drink often. “For now, take the time to enjoy the halls warmth, and the calm gifted to us from union and gods, yes?”

“Yes!” I say, reaching for a small cake. It was lemon. The best flavor. I munched happily, with crumbs on my face. Clinging two fold as they mixed with the paint. “Tastes of VICTORY!!”

“Lemon tastes like victory?” Nikolai smiled, with Mama. “Aren’t lemons sour?”

“VICTORY!!” I insisted.

“I’d say you were philosophical beyond your years, dearest sister.” Nikolai said, looking across the hall. “But then, I know you better than that.”

Papa started laughing loudly, while I growled at my brother. “You’re mean and talk weird!!” I say, hitting his arm rapidly with both hands.

“Think of better insults or don’t bother to make them, darling.” Mama frowned, sipping from her horn. “How many times do I have to say it?”

“ALL THE TIMES!!” I shouted, not really paying attention, and pounding my fists against my chair, loudly.

“You did ask.” Papa said to Mamas growing frown.

“That’s what I get I suppose.” She grumbled, drinking the rest of her ale. She went to poor more, reaching over Nikolai.

“Mamas a drunk!” I giggle.

“Mamas an artist, darling. There’s a difference.” She said through a sly smile. She raised the horn, slightly above her head. The gods smiled, as she downed the other horn. “Come.” She said to me. “It’s almost time.”

“YAY!” I shout, arms up high. “To victory!” I roar repeatedly as I follow Mama out.