I regret it

I regret everything

Everything I ever did in my life

Every choice I chose

Every decision I made

My actions, my thoughts

My existence

What am I supposed to do?

Now that I know I'm a bad person

I tried to do good but...

I only hurt those around me...

I hurt everyone that tried to help me

I pushed them away

I told them I didn't need their help

I told them I didn't need their comfort

I said they were just a bother

That they weren't doing anything but being a road block for me...

How?

How could I do that?

To my friends, my family, all the people who cared

And I just pushed them away

Like a gas station that I ignored when I was running low on fuel

Like a starving dog that ignored the bowl of food in front of it

What is wrong with me?

The doctors say I'll be fine

Just as long as I take my meds and see my doctors

But I have been doing that

I take my meds, I see my doctors, I visit family and hang out with friends

But I haven't changed

Maybe it not me that's wrong

Maybe it's them, maybe...

They're just some more road blocks

I'm the one that's right

I'm the one who's perfectly fine

They're the ones who have the problem

Or maybe...

They are right

Maybe there is something wrong with me

Maybe I'm going insane?

Or...

I'm their problem?

I'm the problem...

I don't want to be the problem

I don't want to be the burden

I don't want to hurt them

My existence is hurting them...

That's the problem

Me

My existence

I need to get rid of it...

I need to get rid of me...