Dear Sweetie Pie,

It’s a disaster.

I require assistance that only the divine, supernatural kind can provide. Oh, how I wish you were here with me! I sincerely hope you are sitting when you read this letter, for the content carries grave if not horrifying news.

Had I known my life would dive straight into oblivion, I would never have opened my eyes this morning from the blissful dream of me passing this test with flying colours.

Not two, not three, but four leaves have withered from my beloved basil plant! I cannot fathom this. They were gleaming in the moonlight just last night. I am tearing my hair out. I am gnawing away at my fingernails. I am glaring at every furry creature that lingers around my window.

As I write to you I feel I’m an inch away from becoming an insane person.

I was one step away from kicking down Master’s door and declaring there has been a deliberate sabotage of my plant and the perpetrator must be caught. However, I stopped my feet just a few centimetres from his door. Would he deem my now forty-four-leafed basil plant a failure? Asking for help was out of the question.

He clearly said I had to keep the plant alive.

Sure, I was greedily hoping that I would get his respect and his approval by keeping the plant at its peak condition. (I was also hoping I could turn it into a unique colour but that required some exotic bat blood.)

I decided to control my hysteria and keep a vigilant watch over the plant. With five rulers, sixteen sharpened pencils and countless rubber bands, I devised a contraption to alert me of any presence near the plant.

Ugh–the furry beasts from hell just set off three of the traps as I am writing this letter. I'll have to untangle them from the super glue and the glitter before Master comes upstairs to see what the yowling and hissing is about. I would like to believe I am a humanitarian sort, yet I have to selfishly admit that I am more of a narcissist than I give myself credit for. Nothing will get in my way of learning under my master!

Your Lovable Lottie

P.S: I delved into the Ministry of Spirit archives online to see if there was a spirit that could heal sickly plants. Alas, it seems I would have better luck getting help from a rock than having a spirit’s assistance. Even if they frequent certain areas, plant spirits haven’t aided humans in years, and they generally want nothing to do with us.

It seems my original plan of capturing one in the garden with a vacuum cleaner is forfeit.