Dear My Best Friend,

It is the collapse of everything that is good and just in this world.

It is so awful I fear that writing it down here will cause the paper to blacken and disintegrate and spread plague and disease throughout the land.

But as your curiosity will push you to madness, I will attempt to write this in a way that will not harm your eyes.

Not just one leaf, but half the plant has been corrupted with decay and destruction. As if to laugh in my face, the blackened leaves that fell to the floor made a pattern of a smiley face. My plant is being taken away to a faraway, cold, lonely place.

I don’t know what to do. I have three days.

I haven’t told Master for he may prematurely fail me.

Perhaps this is a challenge. Perhaps he sabotaged this plant in order for me to revive it.

I am now frantically searching for a concoction to revive dead plants… There is a promising one I’ve found in Master’s study, but I must acquire fresh goat’s blood.

I am searching for another recipe that guides goats to a peaceful, painless slumber. When he awakes, he won’t even notice 600ml of blood missing. I will also bake him cookies.

Now... I must acquire a goat.

Wish me luck!

Your Lamenting Lottie