Dear Snubear,

Goats are hard to find in New Zealand.

I’ve asked Master if there were any goats that could be delivered using his shopping contacts. He shook his head and offered to buy miniature goats that could be stacked on top of one another. I humbly declined.

I have heard sheep and goats are interchangeable and a plethora of sheep loiter nearby. Luckily for me, our neighbour lets his sheep graze in a paddock near our home. They were blissfully ignorant of my analysis.

There are only ten green leaves left on my lifeline.

As fluffy and adorable as these creatures are, I am not going to get kicked out of this country to find another master who would surely have a sub-par garden and hold sub-par credentials compared with Master Mikaere. It would be like holding a candle to the sun.

With lack of frogs and time, I’ve decided to use ethanol. Simply put, good old inebriation. I’m sure the sheep will have fun. Drunk adults most often laugh until they’re red in the face. Perhaps I should prepare an anti-hangover potion for the sheep.

I only need about 600ml of blood… If things turn sour, I shall blame it on the sheep vampires.

Your Loving Lottie

P.S: Master asked how the basil was ‘going’. I couldn’t decipher his tone but he hinted that if I was having any problems, I could ask him.

He said it was okay to ask for help. I smiled and politely refused.

“You sure? It won’t affect your test, I promise,” he said.

“I’m okay, no, I am better than okay. Leave this to me.”

He gave me a thumbs up.

Although I returned the gesture, I can’t help but wonder if his question was too well timed… Do you find this suspicious?