..So I vanished..
Apr 30, 2018
I think by the point I had reached my last job, I began to realize how far I'd gone. How distanced I'd become from everyone, and how my world had grown dim. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do.
I thought about talking about these things but then I also thought...what good would it do? Here I was being so quiet, hardly ever speaking to anyone anymore having become some whisp of an artist, and then suddenly just poking my head in and saying " I'm struggling, I have a problem. "
I imagined a lot of things. Silence, shoulder shrugs. A pat on the back and some words. " That's rough man. " " Life sucks sometimes, you just got to deal with it. " In my mind...all I saw was me being a problem, and inviting people to roll their eyes and point me to a psychiatrist because all I am is just one big ball of mental issues. That's what happens...right..?
Even then I didn't realize I'd made one of the mistakes I begged so many of you not to make...
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