A/n = author notes

(A/n: who’s ready for chapter 3? I am! After this chapter I’ll have 38 chapters to right! And this is just for book 1! But who’s counting. The chapter opens up with Dipper and Friends at a table during breakfast.)

“Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?” Mabel says holding up a syrup bottle she called Sir Syrup.

“I'm always ready!” Dipper says holding up Mountie man, his syrup bottle.

“Then you know what this means!”

“Syrup race!” they say at the same time.

“Oh, can I join!” Star asks.

“Sure!”

All three tilt syrup bottles back and start to drip syrup into their mouths. Marco looks up from the newspaper.

“Go, Sir Syrup!”

“Go, Mountie Man!”

“Go! Go!

Go! Go!”

“Almost... almost...” Mabel says as she taps the bottom of her bottle and the syrup drips onto her tongue. “Yes!” She coughs.

“I Won!” she coughs again.

“That was fun!” Star says. “Marco you should try it sometime.”

“…I think I will pass…” Marco says still reading.

Dipper picks up and reads one of the newspapers. “Ho ho, no way! Hey Guys, check this out.”

“Hm?” Marco says putting down his newspaper.

They all stop doing what they were doing and looked at ad in newspaper.

“Human sized hamster balls?” Star says.

Mabel gasps. “I'm human sized!”

Dipper “No, no, Mabel. This.” Dipper says. He points to a monster photo contest ad. “We see weirder stuff than that every day!

We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?”

“Nope, just memories. And this beard hair.” Mabel holds up the beard hair.

“Why did you save that??”

(A/n: let’s hope the gnomes won’t come back for that)

Mabel shrugs and makes an ‘I dunno’ sound just as their great uncle enters the room.

“Good morning, knuckleheads. You two know what day it is?”

“Oh! oh! I know! Is it Slump day?” Star says waving her hand in the air.

“A what day?” Marco asks.

“Slump day. It’s a holiday on Mewni.”

“Oh…but no” Ford says.

“Free glitter day!” Mabel says.

“Um... Happy anniversary?” Dipper asks.

Ford hits Dipper's head with a newspaper. “It's Family Fun Day, genius!” He says as he walks over to fridge and gets out milk. “We're cuttin' off work and having one of those, you know,” He sniffs milk in the refrigerator. “Bonding type deals.” He looks at Star and Marco. “You guys can come too.”

“Grunkle Stan, is this gonna be anything like our last family bonding day?” Dipper says uncertain.

Flashback

Dipper and Mabel were helping Grunkle Ford make counterfeit money.

“You call that Ben Franklin?” Ford asks looking at it through a magnifying glass. “He looks like a woman!”

They all pause hearing police sirens. “Uh-oh.”

(A/n: uh-oh indeed….)

Cut to present.

Mabel shudders. “The county jail was so cold.”

“All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we're gonna have some

Real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?”

“YAY!”

“I do!”

“Wait, what?”

(A/n: and this is way it pays to pay attention)

Grunkle Ford is driving his car with Dipper, Mabel, Star, and Marco blindfolded in the backseat. He leans down to adjust the radio and the tires screech.

“Whoa! Whoa!”

Dipper sighs. “Blindfolds never lead to anything good.”

“Wow! I feel like all my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers!” Mabel says. She touches Dipper's face, making him laugh.

“Cool, so can I!” Star says poking Marco’s nose repeatedly.

“I never agreed to this.” Marco says bluntly with his arms crossed.

The car jumps, making them fly into the car doors.

“Whoa! Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?” Dipper asks while making sure he had his seat belt still on.

“Ha, ha. Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be.” Ford says laughing. He then squints his eyes. “What is that, a woodpecker?”

He drives through a wooden guardrail, making the kids scream.

(A/n: wow talk about proper driving)

Time skip brought you by Ford’s crappy driving skills…

The friends, all still blindfolded, are standing in front of the parked car, which now has branches and sticks caught in the grill.

“Okay, okay. Open 'em up!” Ford says.

They all take their blindfolds off.

“Tada!” Stanford says. He was holding fishing supplies. “It's fishin' season!”

“Fishing?” Mabel and Marco asks surprised.

“Awesome! I always wanted to fish!” Star says taking a fishing rod.

“What're you playin' at, old man?” Dipper asks suspiciously.

(A/n: it’s rude to call people old you know!)

“You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!”

He moves from the side showing various townspeople doing different fishing activities.

A woman nearby known as Lazy Susan, was waving a pan in the water. “Here, fishy fishies! Get into the pan!” she says.

A man named Toby Determined was taking picture of man with large fish. “Say cheese!” He takes picture, the flash causing the man to fall backwards into the lake.

“Uh, is this good?” A boy called Marcus says. He holds up a fishing pole so his father could see.

“NO!” his father shouts before taken the pole and breaking it in half. “I'll show you how a real man fishes!” He grabs a fish straight out of the water. “Ha ha ha ha ha!” He then throws the fish on the floor of their boat and jumps on it, he punches it repeatedly.

Marcus and his siblings start chanting.

“Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!

Get 'em! Get 'em!”

(A/n: uh oh okay let’s get back to the main characters, shall we?)

“That's some quality family bonding!” The twins’ Grunkle laughs.

“Grunkle Ford, why do you wanna bond with us all of a sudden?” Dipper asks.

“Come on, this is gonna be great! I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me: they don't ‘like’ or ‘trust’ me.”

(A/n: I wouldn’t exactly blame them though…)

“I think he actually wants to fish with us.” Mabel whispers to her friends.

“Yea.” Marco says.

“Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up.” Ford slaps hats on Marco, Mabel, Star, and Dipper. “Pow! Pines family and friend fishing hats! That-that's hand stitching, you know.”

“Thanks!” Star says.

The ‘L’ on the ‘MABEL’ hat peels off.

“It's just gonna be you guys, me, and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!”

“Ten hours?” Marco and Dipper says shocked.

(A/n: yes you heard that right! I just love torturing them. >=D)

“I brought the joke book!” Stanford holds up 1001 Yuk 'Em Ups.

“No! NO!” Dipper says screaming internally.

“There has to be a way out of this.”

“I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!” An old man runs from dock, crashing into and overturning various things while shouting. “The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!” He starts dancing frantically. “Eh, eh, ha ha hoo,” He slaps himself. “Ah, heehee...”

(A/n: and here comes the gibberish talk.)

“Aww... He's doing a happy jig!” Mabel says.

“It reminds me of the time I pranked the maids.” Star says. “They couldn’t stop dancing like that for days.”

“NOOO! It's a jig of grave danger!” Old man McGucket says to Star and Mabel.

“Oh….”

Tate McGucket, his son, comes out and sprays Old Man McGucket with a spray bottle. “Hey, hey! Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, Dad!” his son says.

“But I got proof this time, by gummity!” McGucket points at his boat. “BEHOLD! It's the Gobbledywonker, what done did it! It had a long neck like a geeraffe! And wrinkly skin like...like this gentleman right here!” He points to Ford.

Ford picks his ear. “Huh?”

“It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shimshammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA

BELIEVE ME!”

“Attention all units! We got ourselves a crazy old man!” The man known as Sheriff Blubs says.

Everyone but the Pines, Star, Marco and the ranger points and laughs at Old Man McGucket.

Tate McGucket shakes head in shame.

“Aww, donkey spittle! Aw, banjo polish!” McGucket says walking off sadly.

(A/n: poor crazy old man….maybe his not crazy…..)

“Well, that happened. Now let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!” Ford says as he steps into his rowboat and starts untying it from the dock.

“Guys, did you hear what that old dude said?” Dipper says.

“Mhmm” Star says.

“Besides the gibberish yea.” Marco says.

"Aww, donkey shpittle!" Mabel says mimicking Old Man McGucket.

“The other thing. About the monster.” Dipper starts. “If we can snag a photo of it, we can split the prize among the four of us.”

Mabel gasps. “That's $62.5 for each of us!”

“Wow that’s more than my month’s allowance.”

“Imagine what you could do with five. Hundred. Dollars!” Dipper says.

Mabel's imagination.

She is inside a human sized hamster ball in front of a hamster in a smaller hamster ball.

“Not so high and mighty anymore!” Mabel says to the hamster.

“Aww...” the hamster says frowning.

Mabel rolls back and forth. “Aha haha, haha.” She continues to giggle and crashes through the wall and rolls out onto the street and meets Xyler and Craz, her dream boys. “Hey, boys! You can look, but ya can't touch.” When the light turns green, Mabel scurries down the street in her ball.

“Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak!”

“Awesome!”

(A/n: Mabel has a weird imagination…)

Cut back to reality.

“Mabel! Mabel?” Dipper says while snapping his fingers in front of Mabel’s face.

“Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this!” Mabel says.

“I’m not sure about this-” Marco begins only to be cut off by Star.

“Monster hunting! Count me in!” Star says.

(A/n: Did they total forget that they were supposed to spend time with Stanford???)

“Grunkle Ford! Change of plans: we're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!” Dipper states.

“Monster hunt!

Monster hunt!”

“Monster hunt!” McGucket says joining the chant. The Friends stop chanting and stare at McGucket. “Monster... Eh... I'll go.”

A large honking sound is heard.

Soos Ramirez pulls up in his boat. “You dudes say somethin' about a monster hunt?”

“Soos!” Mabel says.

“Hello!” Star says waving.

“Wassup, hambone!” Soos and Mabel fist bump and make explosion noises. “Dude, you could totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs; Normal boat stuff.”

“All right, all right, let's think this through.” The twins Grunkle says. “Ya kids could go waste your time on some epic monster finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Ford!”

Star, Marco, Mabel, and Dipper look at Soos in his boat; He does a robot dance. They look back at Stan in his leaky old boat; He sniffs his left armpit. They look at Scuttlebutt Island in the distance. They grin at each other.

“So, whaddaya say?” Ford says smiling.

(A/n: this won’t end so well…)

The Friends drive off laughing with Soos in his boat towards Scuttlebutt Island, leaving Ford behind.

“We made the right choice!” Mabel says.

“I am still not too sure about this.” Marco says glancing at Stanford in the distance.

“Come on Marco! Monster hunting is always fun!” Star says.

“Yes!” Soos says.

“Ingrates! Aw, who needs 'em? I got a whole box of creepy fishing lures to keep me company.” After a moment of looking at the lure with flies buzzing around them, Ford cringes in disgust and closes the box.

(A/n: heh heh heh… I am sorry plz don’t skewer me.)

Meanwhile on S.S. Cool Dude, as it heads for the island…

Dipper stands on the stern of the boat, with one foot on the guardrail. He adjusts the visor of his cap. He turns around. “Hoist the anchor!”

Soos pulls up cinderblock anchor.

“Raise the flag!”

Mabel holds up a beach towel. “We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!”

“We’re going to take lots of photos of it!” Star says.

“And we’re gonna win that photo contest!” Dipper says.

“Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?” Soos says.

They all pause….

“Uhhh….” Marco says.

“And we're gonna... go get sunscreen!” Dipper says.

“Yay!”

The boat does a U-turn away from the island. Underwater, a strange shape swims by….

(A/n: Gee… I wonder what that is…)

“Alright. If we wanna win this contest, we've gotta do it right!” Dipper says pacing back and forth. “Think. What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?”

“Not enough food to bait them out?” Marco asks.

“You're a side character, then you die within the first five minutes of the movie.” Soos says. “Dude, am I a side character?! Do y'ever think about stuff like that?”

“Oh yeah you are…” Star says gasping.

(A/n: true… Soos is a side character…wait…how do they know that???)

“No, no, no. Camera trouble! Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, be Bigfoot?” Dipper says.

Soos strikes a Bigfoot pose.

Dipper in mock acting voice says. “There he is! Bigfoot!” He pats life vest. “Uh-oh, no camera!” He pulls camera out of his jacket. “Oh, wait, here's one! Aw, no film! You see? You see what I'm, doing here?” He says in his normal voice.

“Oh, yeah. Dude's got a point.” Soos says.

“Why didn’t I think of that…?” Marco says.

“That's why I bought twenty-five disposable cameras!” Dipper says revealing cameras as he lists off their locations. “Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one... under my hat! There's no way we're gonna miss this. Okay everybody, let's test our cameras out!”

Soos takes a picture of himself, the flash startling him. “Aw, dude!” He throws the camera overboard.

“You see? This is exactly why you need backup cameras. We still have Twenty-four!” Dipper says keeping track.

Mabel throws a camera at a seagull flying over her head. “Ah, bird!”

“Shoo! Bird shoo!” Star says throwing a camera at the same bird.

Marco and Dipper was the only ones who hadn’t boke a camera yet.

“Twenty two! Okay, guys, I repeat; Don’t lose your cameras!” Dipper says calmly.

“Wait, lose the cameras?” Soos asks confusedly.

“DON'T!” Marco and Dipper shout at the same time.

“Dude, Star and I just threw two away.”

“Twenty! All right! We still have Twenty cameras-” He accidentally crushes one with his fist. “Nineteen. We have nineteen cameras.”

(To be continued...)