“He bribed me.” He holds up dollar.

Wendy and Marco holds up a dollar. They all laugh.

(A/n: wohoo! I am so happy I wrote Wendy in this chapter!)

Ford clears throat over the microphone. “You all know me, folks! Town darling, ‘Mr. Mystery.’ Please, ladies, control yourselves!” Three women in the audience are staring blankly ahead, flies swarming around them. “As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me!” He uncovers Wax Stan.

Soos makes a fanfare sound on his keyboard, then makes a ‘Yeah! Yeyeyeyeyeah!’ sound.

Two people in the audience politely clap and someone coughs.

“And now a word from our own Mabelangelo and her friend!”

“It's Mabel.” She says as she takes microphone.

“Thank you for coming!” Star says.

“We made this sculpture with our own two hands!” Mabel throws up her arms.

“It's covered in our blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!” Star adds.

“Ugh! Ewwww!” The audience says.

Mabel chuckles.

“Yeah. We will now take questions!” She points to McGucket. “You there!”

(A/n: Star I think the audience was better off not knowing that.)

“Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the Waxman uprising?”

“Um...Yes! Next question!” Points to Toby Determined.

Toby Determined is holding a turkey baster as if it is a microphone. “Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?”

“Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby.” Stanford says.

“It certainly is Ford.” Toby says.

(A/n: and he sees nothing wrong with that…)

“Uh…that’s nice to know” Star says.

“Next question.” Mabel says before she points to Sandra Jimenez.

“Sandra Jiménez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event.” She shows the flyer. “Is this true?” The female reporter asks.

“That's what I heard! ... Come on! ... What a rip-off!” The audience members says. “... Pizza? ... I want my pizza!”

“That was a typo. Good night, everyone!” Ford says using a smoke bomb to escape, taking the admission fee with him.

Audience all leaving furiously.

The Pizza Guy sadly walks off.

(A/n: even the pizza guy left XD)

Manly Dan punches a pole. “In your face!”

“I think that went well.” Mabel says as she and Star leans on the admission table.

“So do I!” Star says agreeing.

In the Mystery Shack, where Stanford is counting the money he got…

“Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person, this guy!” He points to Wax Stan.

Mabel and Star jokingly punches him.

“Ooh!” He noggies Mabel’s head. “Yeah, you too, ya little gremlins. Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!” He sighs. “Kids.”

On the TV Ducktective is playing.

-Constable says. ‘Well, ducktective, it seems you've really quacked the case.’

Duck Detective quacks while the subtitles read: ‘Don't patronize me.’-

Ford laughs. “Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna get some coffee. You need anything?” He laughs. “I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere…” He says talking to his wax figure before leaving…

The friends are brushing their teeth.

“Guys, you wanna do a toothbrush race?” Mabel asks.

“No thanks.” Marco says. “I’m already done.”

“Okay.” Dipper says.

“On the count of-” Star says.

They all freeze when they hear Stanford scream.

“No... No... Noooooo!”

Dipper, Marco, Star and Mabel look at each other and races downstairs.

“Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered!”

(A/n: It’s a murder mystery because why not =))

The clock bongs three times.

Mabel and Star faints...

“I got up to go to the kitchen, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!”

Stanford is explaining the situation to the police officers as they try to look for clues.

“Our expert handcrafting... besmirched.” Mabel says crying. “Besmiiiirrrched!”

“It took us three weeks to make that.” Star says pouting.

“Who would do something like this?” Dipper asks.

“Probably someone who disliked wax figures or Stanford.” Marco says.

(A/n: or maybe both?....=I)

“What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?” Deputy Durland says.

“Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts... this case is unsolvable.” Sheriff Blubs says.

“What?!”

“You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!” Ford says.

“You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want.” Dipper says.

“He's really good. He figured out who was eating our tin cans!” Mabel says.

“And my hair.” Star says.

“And who eat my homework.” Marco adds.

“All signs pointed to the goat.”

“Yeah, yeah! Let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head.”

“Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!” Blubs says.

“City boooy! City booooooy!” Durland says.

“You are adorable!”

(A/n: why does everyone either say that to Dipper or Marco?)

“Adorable?” Dipper asks confused.

Blubs and Durland both laugh.

“Look, P.J.'s, how about you leave the investigating to the grownups, okay?” Blubs says.

‘Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!’ A man over the sheriff’s walkie talkie says…

“It's a 2316!” Durland says.

“Let's move!” Blubs says.

Blubs and Durland run off laughing.

“Okay what just happened?” Star says.

“Adults these days.” Marco says.

“That's it! Mabel, Star, Marco and I are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable.” Dipper says before he sneezes.

“Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!” Mabel says.

“That’s adorable!” Star says.

Dipper glares at them.

(A/n: not helping at all…)