A/n = author notes

(A/n: are you guys ready for chapter 7? I am! The chapter opens to Stanford Pines out in the front yard with some tourists.)

“For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible ‘Sack of Mystery.’ When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!”

The crowd mutters several positive things about the trick's credibility and Stanford's character. Ford smiles at his gain and their loss.

Inside the shack Dipper, Mabel, Marco, Star, and Soos are watching television.

- -‘The tiger was badly injured in the explosion, but we repaired him with a fist.’- The TV Narrator says.-

The friends start cheering and Dipper says that the tiger's a hero. On TV, the tiger punches itself.

--‘Tiger Fist! ...will return after these messages.’ --

“Hey, look. It's that commercial I was telling you guys about.” Soos says.

--‘Are you completely miserable?’- The narrator says.

The actor while crying shouts. ‘YES!’

-‘Then you need to meet … Gideon.’ - -

“Gideon?” Dipper asks.

“What makes him so special?” Mabel says.

“He’s probably a doctor or something…” Marco says.

--‘He's a psychic.’--

“Really?” Star asks her eyes going wide.

--‘So don't waste your time with other so-called “man of mystery."’-

The screen shows a clip of Stanford coming out of an outhouse and is stamped with the word ‘FRAUD.’

(A/n: commercials these days, always trying to say they are better than others.)

- ‘Learn about it tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy.’- The Narrator says before the TV speeds through subtext for the commercial.

-‘Voidwhereprohibited,noC.O.D.'saccepted.CarlaI'vealwayslovedyoubutneverhadthegutstosayit’—

“Wow, I'm getting all curiousy inside!” Star says.

“I don’t even know if that’s a real word but so am i!” Mabel says.

(A/n: curiousy is not a real word…)

Stanford walks in. “Well, don't get too curiousy. Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble.” He says.

Flashback…

Grunkle Ford is driving in a parking lot. He spots an open parking spot and attempts to back in, but Gideon's tour bus pulls in first.

He makes a fist. “Gideon!”

Cut back to present…

“Did anyone else notice that the TV was actually talking to us?” Marco asks.

“I dunno.” Soos says.

“Well, is he really psychic?” Mabel says.

“I wonder if he can see the future…” Star says.

“I think we should go and find out.” Dipper says.

“Never! You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof!” Ford says.

“Do tents have roofs?” Marco says.

(A/n: no only cars, certain boats, and buildings have roofs…)

“I think we just found our loop hole... literally!” Mabel says. Star and her holds up a string with a loop in it.

“Mwop mwop!” Star says.

--‘So come down soon, folks. Gideon is expecting you.’--

A crowd is entering the Tent of Telepathy. A man named Bud Gleeful, stands at the entrance with a sack.

“Step right up there, folks. Put your money in Gideon's psychic sack.” Bud says.

The crowd mutters several positive things about the sack's credibility.

(A/n: Is just me or the tourist are not very smart…)

“Whoa, this is like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack. They even have their own Soos.” Dipper says.

“Yeah they do...” Marco says.

He points to a maintenance worker who looks very similar to Soos, named Deuce. Soos glares at the lookalike while munching an empanada.

“Weird…but I like it!” Star says.

“It's starting! It's starting!” Mabel says.

“Let's see what this monster looks like.” Dipper says.

The curtains open and Gideon appears on the stage.

“Hello America! My name is Li'l Gideon.”

He claps and doves fly out of his hair. The crowd cheers.

“That's Ford's mortal enemy?” Dipper says.

“But he's so wittle!” Mabel says.

“I know right.” Star says.

(A/n: But ants a little and some species are dangerous)

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight! ...Such a gift. I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all say, ‘aww.’” Gideon says.

He makes a cute pose and the crowd says ‘aww.’

“It came true.” Mabel says in awe.

“He really does have future seeing powers.” Star says.

“What? I'm not impressed.” Dipper says.

“Neither am i. All he did was strike a pose and they said awe just because.” Marco says.

“You guys are impressed!” Mabel says.

“Hit it, Dad!” Gideon says.

Bud Gleeful starts playing the piano and Gideon starts singing a song.

“Oh, I can see, what others can't see

It ain't some sideshow trick, its innate ability

Where others are blind,

I am future-ly inclined

And you too could see,

If you was w’iddle ol' me!

Come on, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going!”

Crowd, including Soos and the friends, rises, seemingly unintentionally, and they start to clap along with the beat.

“Wha—? How did he—?” Dipper says.

“I have a bad feeling about this.” Marco says.

(A/n: you and Dipper are too paranoid yah know…)

“Keep it going!

You wish your son would call you more” Gideon says.

He glances at an old woman with a cat on her lap.

“I'm leaving everything to my cats!” She declares.

The cat meows.

“I sense that you've been here before.”

Sheriff Blubs, who is wearing a shirt with Gideon's face on it and holding various other Li'l Gideon merchandise says. “Oh, what gave it away?”

“Come on.” Dipper says.

“I'll read your mind if I'm able

Something tells me you're named Mabel”

Gideon leaves, and Mabel faces forward and moves the popcorn out of the way so that she and Star can see her sweater, which reads ‘MABEL.’

“How'd he do that?” Mabel says.

(A/n: Gee I don’t know…How about the fact stuff gives it away…)

“Awesome!” Mabel says.

“So welcome all ye... to the Tent of Telepathy

And thanks for visiting... w’iddle ol' me!”

The song ends, Gideon is sweating and panting and the crowd cheers wildly. He pants. “Oh... oh my goodness.” He drinks some water and then says to the audience. “Thank you! You people are the real miracles!”

“Woo! Yeah!” Star and Mabel says.

“Man, that kid's an even bigger fraud than Stanford!” Marco says as they exit.

“No wonder our uncle's jealous.” Dipper says.

“Oh, come on. His dance moves were adorable!” Mabel says.

“And did you see his hair? It was like, whoosh!” Star adds.

“You two are too easily impressed.” Marco says.

“Yeah, yeah!” Mabel says.

(A/n:  am I writing too many sound effects in here…?)