I am messed up. First I start dreaming about some fantasy woman, then I fall in love with her, and then the fantasy woman tells me she’s some kind of fairy that writes dreams. What kind of a screwed-up subconscious mind comes up with crap like that?

As if that weren’t enough, my sort-of-date went fine, but I couldn’t get that damn dream girl out of my mind the whole time. It was like, my date looked like everything I wanted in a woman, and she was nice enough and all, but I kept wanting her to have that… that something that the woman in my dreams had.

I’ve gotta work this out before I can get on with my life, so I’ve started seeing a therapist, if you can believe that. Kinda helpful — he’s not exactly sure where I’m coming up with most of this stuff, but he taught me a lot more about lucid dreaming and how to interpret things. Did some hypnosis, but it wasn’t as helpful as I expected.

He even told me that it’s possible to do this kind of self-hypnosis thing where you stay conscious as you fall asleep. I tried it a couple times, but I’ve never been good at that stuff, so I doubt it’d ever work for me. It’s supposed to be really hard to pull off anyway, and unpleasant to boot. I’ll leave that to the experts.

He gave me some homework, though. I’m supposed to keep doing the lucid dreaming thing my own way and find her again, so I can ask her what it is that’s keeping me attached to her and get on with life. Sort it out within the dream.

Weird plan, but I hope it works.