


Chapter 1 - Page 16-18 "A Rival in Darkness"
Jun 18, 2018
Creator
New update for Pitch Black and as always Id love to hear what people think of my comic so far. Any feedback helps! So feel free to leave a comment!
Got Instagram? If you do check out my work for Pitch Black
instagram.com/mazakouwarrior93/
Also check me out on DA
mazakouwarrior93.deviantart.com/
Top comment
I've seen all the pages now and now I'm frustrated cause i want mooooree (the problems of being a Binge reader)
My review:
Concerning to Art: It's obvious your references are manga, in the begining I saw an air to shaman king, but right now remind me some Yu Yu Hakusho or HunterxHunter. That's really good actually, overall you manage well the proportions and arrange well the composition within the panels, maybe thing that you're lacking is the arrangement of panels within the page. also drawing full boddies in still poses seems like a little strugle for you, there's a profile shot that looks weird, but the action poses seems really nice, maybe a little bit stiff but exagerating the gesture helps a lot as it seems you've been doing. The mayor flaw I could consider is those 1st shot planes panels, cause most of them are voidly white, you don't need to add full and complex background to everything, and you have a nice graphic awareness, in those panels where what's important is the character you've could just add few elements in the background to remind us the context they are in, is not needed always but if you want to keep your reader in a objective context you might want to add those elements,things like a crack in the ground, the shadow of a tree, the leaves of a bush.
Plotwise: The characters seem well developed, and the transitions from point A to B are nice, it gives me few cliche vibes there, has a shonen smell that seems hard to rip off (of course if that's what you want to aim for as it seems then you're doing great). Since we are still in the begining of the story is hard to point anything else to me. One Thing, maybe I'm wrong, but since this is a story driven comic and is fairly serious themed would be better to post many pages at once instead of weekly uploads, a two week or a monthly update worths a lot if you're posting 12 or 20 pages in one shot. Nevertheless this could make your reader traffic slower.
see you around, subscribed.
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