I regretted all the things happened. It wasn’t my plan after all. I can’t barely imagine that it could happen without my consent. All I can do is to watch from behind. The flowers that I brought yesterday had already dried up. I’m just all alone here waiting and regretting the things. My tears also already dried up, it’s just a waste. All my efforts were turned to dust. All I want to do is to stop this pain, if I could end it now but I can’t.
It started in just a little discord. Both of us, choose to hold up our pride even it was our fault. You kept saying that it was my fault without thinking my side. Even I’m in love with you, I chose to hold up my pride and that was the worst regrettable decision I made. I should lower down my pride for you but I chose not to do it. Even in the last moments, I restrained myself from helping. I know there should be no reason that I neglected you but that time, I’m so coward and depressed. It ends up pushing you out of the picture.
I planted much hate on them. I didn’t care about them. All I wanted was to be free and do what I want. I reject their teachings and morals. What I knew before, all the things that they done in my behalf was for their all means. They’re like a commanding officer that what I need to do is to obey them. By the time that I already out of that so called “home”, I felt I’m so blessed. In this moment, I’m so desperate to learn things from them but it’s already late. They already departed to a place that I couldn’t contact them. Before, I want to be free. Now, I want to be at their side and very willingly do their commands. I regretted that I waste the much time that I should cherished.
Because of a little discord, I chose to leave them. I chose to see the one mistake over a hundred of good things. I wasted the years of friendship for something that is temporary. For the past years, they are the one who always rescue me when I’m in trouble. They’re always on my side in every ups and downs of my life. But, something happen that which make me choose to leave them. They aren’t the first one who resigned but I am. Now, I’m just watching them from a far and choose to stay away from them. I don’t have enough courage to apologize and admit my mistakes. I choose to let them go because I’m coward to hold on.
Maybe the past couldn’t be turned back but the pain was stabbed me from the bottom. When reminiscing the past is like putting fuel to the fire. I never knew this from the beginning and that’s why I regretted it. I never imagined that I would fallen into this despair and the thing I wanted to do is to end it. There’s nothing holding back. In the beginning I’m just loving myself and finding the liberty in every places. In that point of view, I unconsciously chose to severed the ties from the people who cares for me the most. Now, it’s time to stop the pain and time to end it. Then, it’s a Good Bye.
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