When I entered the older, large white building with a green roof that looked more like a mansion than an inn, I found the place to be rather cozy. There was a fireplace surrounded by four cloth chairs paired by likeness to one another and a round coffee table. Bookshelves packed with books lined the walls on either side of the fireplace and a couple wooden tables sat near the window. A single, large chandelier hung from the cieling with a mural of the sky. Many different items relating to sailing and the sea decorated the room. I felt like I had just stepped into someone's home rather than an inn.
The room was vacant except for a young girl sitting nearest the fireplace with her legs propped up onto the armrest. She was reading a book while munching on an apple. When I waved, she immidiately brought her attention from her book up to me and right as she met my eyes, she quickly looked away suddenly horror stricken. I don't think I could have ever seen someone move as fast as she did as she flew from the seat, shoving the book back into the bookshelf and hurried away.
Before she could get anywhere near the door, I jumped in front of her. "Please wait!" I signed. The moment she saw that I was signing, her eyes widened and a sudden look of pleasure seeped through.
"Are you deaf, too?" She asks.
"No, I just don't speak." She looked a little bummed by my answer. "Are you staying here?"
"I live here," she replied, suddenly chipper once more. "I am actually not supposed to be out here. But Mom's out in the garden and my brother is taking a shower, so I thought I'd sneak out. Shh, don't tell anyone." She winked.
I smiled. "My lips are sealed. Is your brother's name Atlas by any chance?"
"Yeah, why? Do you know him?"
"I think so. It's been a while since I last saw him."
"That's so cool. I never knew he had an outsider as a friend."
"Outsider?" I asked, curious as to what she meant by that.
"I don't have any friends. I'm not allowed out of this place. Not yet anyway. My birthday is coming up soon, though. Then I'll be able to leave!"
I forced a smile, but could tell it looked abnormal. I had no idea what she was even talking about, and before I had the chance to ask her to elaborate, her eyes suddenly lit up. She wasn't looking at me anymore, but past me.
"Look whos-" I turned before I could see what she was saying. In the entryway she tried escaping to earlier stood the boy I had promised never to see again. He was staring between me and the young girl I had been talking to, stunned and almost terrified.
"You're not supposed to be out here," he spoke as he signed.
Wait.
I looked back at the little girl and then to him once more. Their similarities were so on par, right down to their noses. She was like a little mini version of him, but with bigger eyes and much longer hair. So he was Atlas all along. My chest tightened as all the air left me. This whole time and I never even put it together.
His eyes flickered in my direction before he marched over to the girl, taking her by the arm and guided her out of the room.
"It was nice to talk to you," she signed to me before she disappeared.
Suddenly, the room felt almost unnerving. I was now alone with him; the boy from my past and the boy I promised never to see again. Everything I had planned to tell him; all my scenarios just flittered away with the little girl.
"I thought you promised to leave me alone," his voice resonated off the walls. When he turned, all the emotion he had once held in his appearance had all but dissapated. His expression had darkened. He was careful not to meet my gaze, keeping his intense stare fixed in the bridge of my nose.
"I remember you," my hands blurted out without any regard to how I wanted to handle this. For a moment, the intenseness in his eyes faltered, making me wonder if he already knew. I brought out the folded biography. His attention transferred to the photo. "You are him, aren't you?"
For a while we stood in silence. His darkened expression softened slightly as he continued to stare at the photo, but now it looked as though he was conversing with himself.
"Do you remember me?" His silence was beginning to unnerve me. "Say something."
After a moment longer he finally spoke. "Who you remember is completely different now. It's best if you just leave it at that and abide by the promise you made."
I took a step toward him to which made him flinch a step back in reaction. "I am going to abide by the promise I made. The promise from thirteen years ago, which practically makes the recent promise null and void. Remember it?"
"That was made by two naive kids. We are no longer kids."
"You're right, we aren't kids anymore, which is all the more reason to uphold on that promise."
"Molly..."
I pointed to him with an excited smile. "See! I knew you remembered me!"
"You told me your name the day you made the promise to stay away from me."
Oh, right... I bit my bottom lip in embarrassment.
"But if you insist, yes, I do remember you."
I was taken aback by his sudden genuineness. He no longer looked angry either. His expression was soft, but cautious and almost accepting. This look made his appearance more attractive. I smiled, happy at his acknowledgement. He remembers me!
"You shouldn't be here, though." The shift wiped the smile from my face. His attention was back on my nose, completely serious.
"Why not?"
"Wasn't knowing all you wanted?"
"Why are you so against us being friends?"
"Because it can't happen. Not for me."
"Why not?" I asked as I took another step toward him. "Why can't we be friends? Am I too awkward for you? Is it because I am mute? Or maybe it has something to do with being an outsider, is that it?"
His eyes widened slightly. "Who told you that?"
"Your sister called me that. I don't know what it means, but it surprised her. Is that why we can't be friends? Are you part of some kind of cult or something?"
"If that's what you want to believe. Whatever will make you leave."
"Why are you so intent on pushing me out?"
"Why are you so intent on prying into my life?" I pursed my lips, fuming now as I glared at him.
"Fine. If you want me gone so bad, make me leave."
"What?"
"I know that you did something when you looked into my eyes last time. When I came to my senses I found I was no longer standing across from you, but half way home and no knowledge of how that even happened. You obviously have some influence over me. Whatever it is, if you want me gone then you are just going to have to use that to make me." With that I crossed my arms.
The truth was, I was dying to look into his eyes again. To really look into his eyes. Even if he was going to send me away, this was the only way I was going to be able to satisfy the draw to him that was literally tearing me apart from the inside out.
"Please," I signed without thinking. "Please, just look at me." I know that sounded extremely desperate, but the longer I stood here the harder it was to be okay with him not meeting my eyes.
You could hear a woman outside humming away lightly. I could only assume that was the mother that his sister was talking about earlier as the whole place seemed pretty empty given no one had entered here since I first stepped inside. Atlas was hesitating, but if he wanted me to leave, this was the only way he was going to do it. It felt like a win-win situation to me. He gets me to finally leave and I get to stare deep into his soul again.
Yet, when his eyes did actually meet mine, it was a completely different experience than what I had grown accustomed to. The connection was not felt only in my mind this time, but it reached into my heart and my soul. Somehow I felt connected to him on a whole other level. Like I could feel him, what he was feeling and wanting. There was a closeness to him that had never been present before. It literally took my breath away.
His reaction told me he was also aware of this new connection. I could not control the intense desires that accompanied this new connection, either. It was familiar, I can slightly recall the feeling of wanting to be close to him, but increased ten fold. The same pull beckoning me to him was also there, wrapping around me and retracting, making me step toward him. His appearance had become very inviting and enchanting. Something I had not seen before.
I felt my hand move away from me as I neared his motionless state. And when I was just centimeters from his touch, I paused feeling the static between the side of his face and my fingertips. It sent a shiver up my arm and into me, making me crave for more. That's when I finished the distance. His touch sent more waves of chilling shivers that had me catching my breath. My heart was pounding so hard, it drowned out the melodic humming outside.
The magnetizing moment was cut short by a slamming door that caused Atlas' eyes to rip from mine, literally rip. If I could have ever described how a piece of paper must feel being ripped in half, it would be the moment his eyes disappeared, taking the incomprehensible connection with it. But I was trapped there still, stuck feeling the after effects that left me in a terrible yet wonderful daze.
"Oh," I could hear a woman speaking. "Atlas, why didn't you tell me we had a guest?"
"She's not a guest, mother, she was just asking for directions." Atlas' voice sounded about as messed up as I felt.
"Oh, well, okay. Maybe I can assist you."
"Already done. She was just getting ready to leave," he said more collected that time. I could see him fighting the urge to return to the connection we shared. "You should go," he said under his breath.
I wanted to object, but I also felt like I needed some air. I could not even begin to explain to myself what just happened between the two of us. But it felt both unbelievably amazing and scary at the same time. Without a second glance, I turned from him and walked out of the inn, clinging onto the small photo in my hands.
By the time I reached Will, who had been sitting on the ground in front of his bike playing a game, I had most of myself back. My heart was beating normal again and I could think clearly once more, but the feelings were still there, swirling inside me on an neverending loop.
"You alright?" Will asked when he looked up at me. I nodded as I inhaled deeply, staring back in the direction of the inn. I could see him stand out of my peripheral. "So did you meet him? Was it the guy I thought it was?"
When I didn't answer, he waved his hand in front of my face, which was what finally jolted me to the present. "Sorry," I signed with a weak smile.
"So was it the same person?"
"Yes."
He smiled brightly. "Well that's great isn't it? You finally reaquainted with your childhood friend. Did he remember you? You were gone for a long time."
"Can you take me home?" I typed into my phone for the voice to speak.
"Didn't go well?" He asked. I shrugged.
It wasn't that it didn't go well. I wasn't sure how it went to be honest. Like every other time we parted ways, I was left with only questions. There was something about it, about him that was different, but I didn't know what. I wasn't even close to knowing what. Yet, with all these questions, I was also left with the same lingering desire to go back to him.
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