SEVEN

It was now the day's end and I was on my way back to the dorm taking in the past weeks.

Did I want things to continue the way they were? Was I happy? Sure I did not have Tae in my arms like how I would've preferred but the move to an American University had not being vain. I had made friends, all with different personalities that I was still getting used to even though I was feeling comfortable around them all like I'd known them forever. The guys on the team were also great company positively competitive in every aspect, funny and accepting of the fact that I wasn't that fluent in my English. Emily had been one to help with my word pronunciation "Don't get rid of your Korean tone! Your fangirls love it!" she'd tried pleading with me rolling her eyes making me worry one day they'd get stuck in the back of her had but pathetic as it may, it was my childish attempt at getting Tae's attention that I was stubborn about learning American. The guy had always been fluent and eloquent in languages even before leaving South Korea and Jimin too apparently. And yet i still had to get his attention to me.

Unfortunately all of it had been focused on his boyfriend, his friendly boyfriend who was now under the assumption that we were buddies. I'd get back from practice and find him in the dorm with an unopened wine bottle

"Unlike some people, we can drink. Come let's watch a movie." He'd exclaim. Sometimes it would be a note left on the living room table telling me to join him in his dorm. And every single time I'd felt compelled to accept the offers so he wouldn't suspect me of wanting to have his boyfriend for myself and for forever. I'd been having these conflicting feelings as I wanted both of them to pick up on me like that but also not wanting them to know my true intentions and think I was sad or something. Then use me for pillow talk to talk about what a strong bond we share baby.

With Tae things were going great! If great is the word one would use to just describe a content living. We were civil towards each other, I'd sometimes catch myself flirting with him and when he would respond positively I would take it back a notch on my forwardness as I was sure it was him being nice to me he'd always been like that to me. Also he seemed to be smitten by Jimin and I would just be the home wrecker.

I would notice how they would clasp to each other's hands on our movie nights, how they would finish each other's sentences it was annoying at the very least and I was the roommate who had no option but to witness the two lovebirds. Who had this breezy relationship going on I noticed it all, even how they would take care of each other. With Tae picking up Jimin snacks he didn't need, buying him songs to listen to and how Jimin would be the one to return Tae's books to the library on his behalf, he would also just show up in the noon when I was meant to be snapping away my muscle pains and just clean Tae's room, do his laundry like a house wife he may not look like a woman but he sure was playing into the stereotype for dotting girlfriends. Jimin was annoying, they were annoying me.

And they both were clearly under the impression that I was straight. Which I wouldn't blame Tae for thinking but Jimin! had no business assuming my sexual orientation like he knew me. He'd mentioned in passing how he felt like he knew me from what Tae had told him about me. At first I felt guilty for lying, then I thought about what was in my top drawer and it reminded me that even though he did know me. He also did not know me. There was a side of me that even I myself back then hadn't known and accepted about myself. So for them to sit around cuddling, discussing me on their little footie dates and assuming they 'know me' felt like a sting to my existence.

Last Thursday night when we were watching TV and Jimin pressed me about why I don't invite any dates back to the dorm. I took a large sip from my glass avoiding the question ,it felt intrusive because even if i were straight would that mean i'd be obliged to whore around campus? find a nice girl and commit? But then Tae decided to add "We know you've been hooking up with Emily, you can have her join us we don't mind. Seeing as you as you don't. Us" the way he said 'us' gesturing with his bony finger to him and his boyfriend made my stomach swirl with regret, envy and sadness.

That could've been the best time to tell them I wasn't into girls but afraid my face was heavy with my inside emotions I decided to fake it and laughed the questioning suggestion off dismissing them with the truth "Em and I aren't like that, just friends."

"Tight friends huh?" Jimin inquired.

I'm not stupid and so obviously I did pick up on the sublime. I chose only to laugh it off, raising my right hand swearing my honesty to the heavens. They believed the Emily bit but that only prompted them to spend what felt like an eternity trying to get me to talk about who I've been getting with. They even brought up my missing hours from the room with Tae saying "...not the field, library or lectures either. I checked so where will you be?"

I wanted them off my back quick as I was getting close to blurting "I'm gay and single ok!!' so instead of telling them I'd been hiding out Ansel's dorm playing Mortal Combat something so innocent I chose to be honest "just out ok, giving you two space for your PDA."

I was smiling when I said that yet they acted like I'd said the most awful thing anyone would. Their faces were swept with dread almost, both almost pale now Tae scratched the back of his neck, with his head down biting on the corner of his bottom lip nervous? Jimin kicked a hypothetical stone and asked "Oh we forget sometimes, we know how you feel about two guys being like that. Sorry." He looked for Tae for what looked like approval and Tae's glinted with approval so Jimin finished "We'll make sure you don't feel uncomfortable with us like that. OK"

I admit I felt very offended but I felt even more helpless. So the night had finished on an awkward note. That was last Friday though at Jimin's dorm. Today's movie night happened at ours. Mine and Tae's I'd surprised them when I mentioned bringing a date. So Jimin being the perfect boyfriend had texted me to let me know he'd be over with more wine and snacks than usual adding "finally time to see who this girl is and how special she must be making you bring her tonight." Knowingly I hadn't replied the message and now about to get in the dorm I knew I'd find him in there with Tae still probably at the lab yet I still wasn't going to give them the heads up.

A second knock resounded on my door and I brushed my hands together before I opened it. It was Tae looking like a heist will i ever have him in this lifetime? in his white lounge wear his beautiful face wearing a questioning look "There's a Baek here to see you?"

"Oh good." I made out Baek talking to Jimin with a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon in front of him that's Tae's least favorite according to a comment he made last week. Tae blocked the door subtly for those in the back and asked "He brought a $60 wine bottle to a very casual movie night. In a dorm room?" he inquired.

Very well aware of what he was insinuating I replied "I brought wine to Jimin's that time.." he cut me and said "he said he your date for tonight?" looking intently into my eyes he asked are you jealous baby?

Staring back into his I hesitated and hoped my hesitation hadn't shown on my face when I replied "uh huh everything ok?"

His hesitation definitely showed on his face before he asked with a crack in his voice "He's a guy?"

Closing the door to my room I nonchalantly replied "Exactly why I asked him."

Confusion etched on Tae's face as I left him walking up to hug hello to my date. And he kissed my ear.

Jimin too looked confused and asked "So is this a man's date or a date date?"

We both laughed before Baek took the wheel to answer back "I've been asking him out for weeks but thankfully this marks our third date in one week since what? last week Saturday?" he looked to me for help and I confirmed "Yes, just happy I haven't bore you yet."

"Never" Baek said as i was leading him out of the door.