I have absolutely no recollection as to how we got to the hospital. All I remember is sprinting to his room with everything I had, shoving aside faceless people. My voice growing hoarse from shouting his name the entire way, though I could not hear myself. I'd gone deaf, I didn't want to hear his condition, I did not want to hear how badly he was hurt. I had to see him with my own eyes. There was a crowd of people at his door, mostly gang members, several nurses going in and out. I shouldered past them all, snapping my teeth at the hands that tried to bar my path. I fought my way into the room, shoving aside the doctor standing beside his bed. There was only one sound I could hear, the one sound I would learn to loathe. The never ending note of an unbeating heart.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

My heart rate accelerated at the sound, as I stared down at my brother in disbelief. He lay unmoving, eyes shut, face battered, a blood stained bandage around his head.

"R-Rayul" I laid a trembling hand on his chest. There was no heart beat.

He didn't move.

"Rayul!" tears spilled down my face.

He wasn't breathing.

"RAYUL!!" I screamed, clutching his shirt in both hands.

He was gone.

Several pairs of hands attempted to pull me away from him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, sobbing into his unmoving chest while screaming his name.

"RAYUL!! Ray! Please, come back! You-you can't leave me!! You promised! You promised you'd come home. Remember? You said you'd be home in no time, you said you would come back to me! You promised! You promised to come home, you said not to worry...."

I sobbed hysterically, soaking the front of his shirt with my tears. It took three men to pry me off Rayuls body, even then I fought them. Squirming and struggling to be with him again. He couldn't be gone, there was a mistake. My brother would never die like this! He would never break his promise to me!

Strong arms locked themselves around me, pinning me to their chest and my arms to my sides. I bashed the back of my head against their chest, I kicked, I screamed. They wouldn't release me, unsteadily walking backwards as they dragged me further away from my brother.

A doctor was pulling the sheet over Rayuls face. A doctor, the man who had Rayuls life in the palm of his hands and he had let my brother slip away. He had let him die!

"AURGH!" shouted the guy holding me as I contortioned myself around and buried my teeth in his arm. He loosened his hold. That was enough. Before anyone else knew what was going on I had tackled the doctor to the floor. Holding the startled man by the scruff of his shirt, I shook him.

"WHY?! Why didn't you save him?! Why did you let him die?!!WHY DIDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING?!!!" I screamed. If it was me, I wouldn't have let him die. If I was there I could have saved him! Rearing back my fist I struck him in the face. His head reeled back while blood spurt from his nose.

From behind someone locked their arm around my neck, catching my drawn back hand around the wrist they yanked me off the doctor, the monster who had let Rayul die right in front of him. He was supposed to save lives! Why, why had he let my brother die!!

I fought pointlessly as two people twice my size restrained me. Together they were able to drag me successfully from the room despite my frantic struggles using tooth and nail. Away from Rayul. Away from my brother. The white door was shut in my face, blocking him from sight. I went limp, all the fight abruptly sapped out of me. My hands trembling I crumpled against the unknown restrainer and cried, sobbing into my hands. Unwilling to except a reality without Rayul. The restraints turned to a gentle hug as I was lowered to the floor, falling to me knees. The guy holding me turned out to be Mason, his arms shook with the weight of his own grief.

"We're sorry Aaron" his voice cracked.

What good was your apology, I wanted to lash out. What good was your grief? Nothing you said or did would bring him back. There was nothing you could do for him. You were his team mate and you had let him die.

I was his brother, I knew he was in no shape to fight. If only I had stayed awake that night, I could have stopped him. I could have kept him from leaving. I-I could have saved him. It was my fault he was gone.

Shuddering I screamed in the palms of my hands and could not find it in me to stop.