A Musky Era

“FFUUUUUUCK!!!” I heard a wail from outside my window.

It immediately clicked in who it was that did that when I heard a crash in the dumpsters down below. There was only ever one vigilante in the world that was stupid enough to jump off roofs. And that was Elon Musk. Ever since he invented nano tech, he’s been jumping off roofs and fighting crime. This mostly ever amounted to him get tossed around like a rag doll by actual criminals with experience. But he did do a great job at scaring those who were to new to the whole thing.

But even with all that he just did more harm than good. He often got in the way of police investigations. And because of his antics criminals getting away were common. Though no one could convince him to hang up his cowl, or nano-suit in this case. So instead the government initiated a program just for him. In exchange for paying for his hero identification card every month to be able to fight crime and stop evil, his assistants would also have to relay any information to the police ahead of time.

Maybe with that plan the police would get to the scene way before Musk could, that way they’d have time to capture the criminal before anything bad could happen. But despite this, Musk never gave up.

And now here we were with a billionaire genius right outside my apartment complex inside the garbage can.

“Yo! Are you alright Musky!?!” I called out my window 5 stories below.

“I’m OKAY! And I do not know who this Musky is that you’re talking about!” He had landed so that he was facing up into the sky.

Even though everyone already knew who Phantom X was, Musk himself still believed that no one knew about his double life. Though with all the question that reporters asked about him being Phantom X you’d think that he’d get the hint that everyone was in on his big secret. But he just kept denying everything.

“If you say so!” I yelled back.

I watched, my chin on my hands, as he slowly stood up and brushed everything off. The steady waves of his nanites was pleasing to the eye.

“You got a little something on your head now!” I pointed to a banana peel that rested atop his noggin.

He picked it up delicately and turned up to see it. Throwing it away in disgust quickly thanked me.

“Thanks! Y’know a beautiful woman like you could do great at fighting crime if you had a mentor such as me,” I couldn’t tell what was going on beneath that mask of his, but I imagined he must be showing off his signature smolder.

“Uh, thanks, I’ll uh think about your offer,” I blushed. I didn’t know how to speak. As a 36 year old woman I really didn’t get many compliments anymore and my celebrity crush telling me I was beautiful was just too much for my brain to handle.

“Don’t think about it too long. Because when something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor. Besides I might swing by tomorrow maybe even show you my secret identity. You were enough to fall for after all,” I cringed at his pun.

But I would be giving it some thought over the night.