Okay, so I’m back with the next part of the story. This is when shit got real. I mean really real. Remember that things were different when the nightmares started. Well, I’m going to continue from there.

I’d like to tell you that I continued rocking in bed until my mom came home. I’d LOVE to tell you that but it would be a lie, and I'm not a fan of lies. Some weird shit happened instead. I don’t know if I was having some sort of seizure or - you know what? I forgot to tell you something about me. Your boy is epileptic. No, seriously. I have had more seizures than I care to count in my life. You know what it’s like to go to sleep, wake up suddenly and only be able to move one part of your body? That's been my reality for as long as I can remember.

It took me a long time and a lot of research to figure it out. It wasn't easy. Epilepsy is extremely complex. There are loads of different types of seizures. It doesn't stop at just grand mals. There are absence seizures, myoclonic seizures, focal seizures, pseudoseizures - more than I feel like naming. Just make sure you understand that it's not simple and not funny. Many people are killed by this condition, and intentionally triggering seizures is abuse. You could kill someone for a laugh and that's not okay. Don't do it.

So, I wasn't sure if I was hallucinating because of a seizure, or what. It's nothing new. I kind of got used to seeing messed up shit because of all the seizures I had in bed. I've had tens of thousands of them by now. I don’t even know how I’m still living. I’m getting distracted.

I thought it was a dream at first. I was just rocking in my bed in the dark, and suddenly I wasn’t. I didn’t remember moving, let alone getting out of bed and walking out of the house. The sudden chill snapped me out of my stupor. I blinked a few times in the darkness, and the stars came into focus as I looked around. There was no moon there, which was odd. I could have sworn there was a crescent moon before I went to bed. I had a thing for looking at the moon every night. I used to imagine I was a werewolf. I thought that if I was a mythical beast, I would grow strong enough to at least escape my mom one day. I was such a naive little boy.

My gaze descended from the sky and drifted to my right. I felt unsettled and stepped to my left as I took in my surroundings. I wasn’t out in the deep forest but I was in a moderately wooded area. I heard owls hooting, crickets chirping anxiously, and car horns periodically blowing far off in the distance. I had been in places like that before, just not on this side of the treeline. I was way out in the boondocks; between the suburbs and the countryside. How did I get out there so quickly? Shit, how did I get out there in the first place? Why couldn’t I remember how or when I got there? Why was I alone?

I had a lot of questions there were no clear answers to. I continued to stumble clumsily to my left, marveling at my surroundings. I looked for a path but didn’t find one. I was baffled.

Me: What the hell hap--?!

I bumped into a hard surface. It was kind of cold but not cold enough to be made made of metal. I knew it was solid when I hit it because it didn’t budge even a millimeter. If I had been moving any faster, I’d have probably bruised my arm up. My head snapped in the other direction.

Me: What the fu--!!!

My exclamation stopped halfway through. My eyes widened and my pupils became saucers. There was a wall there that I didn’t see while I was looking around. The damn thing had to be 30 feet tall and I didn’t even see the shadow. Then again, the moon wasn't overhead, so it wasn’t like it could have cast much of a shadow on me or the surrounding area. This shit was weird. One would think there would be a lot more activity around something like this. This wall was monstrous compared to home.

Though becoming quite hardened early in life, I was still just a kid. I couldn’t help myself. I touched it. I also live in reality and wasn’t imagining some kind of magical barrier that would repel me, or burn me, etc, and I was confident that because it was made of stone that it wasn’t going to electrocute me, or some wild shit like that. Plus, I had already accidentally run into it anyway. Nothing was loose. I traced my fingers along the wall and walked forward. I thought that maybe I would find some clue if I combined by senses; maybe there were openings hidden by optical illusions. I was here and had no idea how to get home, so I didn’t have shit better to do.

I rounded the corner ahead of me after about ten minutes of walking and nothing seemed to change. The second side was identical to the first. Not so strange. I kept walking with my hand against the wall. The stones were all smooth, so I didn’t have friction damage to worry about. But they weren’t small, so I imagined this big ass wall was pretty tough to get through. I mean, it was pretty tall and it didn’t seem like it was struggling with its own weight at all. Whoever built this thing was determined to keep people out.

It took me twenty minutes to march to the next corner. I must have lost my perception of distance because it really didn’t look that far away to me. And I was moving pretty swiftly after I got used to the rougher terrain. Sure, it was nothing like walking on a level surface, but I was doing well in terms of pacing. Okay, onto the third side.

Me: (breathless) This is some bullshit. It shouldn’t be so hard to find a way in so I can find out where the hell I am. Maybe I can figure out how to get home before mom. If she finds out I was gone, she won’t even care that it wasn’t my fault. She’s going to beat the shit out of me again. I’m tired of--

I stopped short when I heard an annoying, high-pitched buzzing in my ear. I swatted away the mosquito that was looking for an easy meal. I wasn’t in the mood. The fourth side was the same.

Me: (exasperated) Okay! Now, this doesn’t make ANY KIND of sense! What type of shit is this?! There’s no opening to a square wall?! SERIOUSLY?!

My voice echoed in the darkness, disturbing the nocturnal creatures of the wooded area. Birds squawked and darted off in multiple directions, frightened field mice scurried out of the clearing, and foxes watching from the treeline retreated into the shadows. Anyone would have understood my assumption and frustration. Why would anyone build something like that? It didn't seem artistic and it was hidden away from society. What good was it if no one would see it?

Me: (sighs) Oh well. Maybe there's something precious or dangerous inside.

I finished my twenty minute trek to the next corner and, as stated, I found no gaps, doors, or windows anywhere. I returned to my starting point and was legitimately disheartened. I plopped down and stared at the stars. I couldn't wrap my mind around the purpose of this thing but I just gave up caring. All I wanted to do at that point was get home before sunrise. Mom would kill me if I didn't get back before she did.

I had to have walked about four miles before taking a break. The structure was larger than I initially thought. Whoever built it had way too much time on their hands, I thought.

Me: (yawning) I guess I'll just live here now. It's safer than going home at this point.

My eyes started to feel heavy. The walk tired me out again and, though I was terrified of having another memory fueled nightmare, I couldn't make myself stay awake. I didn't even remember drifting off. I just woke up to the sound of birds chirping, feeling warm. I snapped my eyes open and found myself back in my bed are home. My mind was blown.

Me: (whispering) H-h-how did I get back home? Was it just a dream?

I quietly climbed out of bed and crept to the hallway in front of me. I peeked down the corridor and didn't see anyone. I looked around the wall next to me and into mom’s room. She was already soundly asleep in her work clothes. I was surprised I didn't wake up to a brutal beating because she usually did that after a hard night at work. And when she fell asleep in her work clothes, it usually meant she didn't have a good night there. Can you see the picture I'm painting here?

I let mom sleep undisturbed and tiptoed back into my room. I stopped to get my journal before climbing back into bed. I wanted to write this down and had plenty of space, as I didn't put any thoughts in it before. It was when I looked down into the drawer that I noticed the grass and dirt on my pajama pants. The pencil fell from my hand. I was stunned. I felt my eyes widen.

Me: (loud whisper) That wasn't a dream!

I heard mom move and my hands immediately covered my mouth. I shouldn't have let that slip out.

Mom: (sleepily) Shut up, Adam, before I come in there.

I didn't say anything. I just got back into bed and tried to process what happened only hours ago. Part of me was relieved that mom didn't find out or get out bed, another part of me was hoping I could do it again and escape her for good, and the last part of me was completely terrified when I couldn't think of an answer.