The next morning, I'm convinced everything was a dream. This is partly due to the fact that I wake up in bed with no memory of how I got back there, and, secondly, due to the fact that my tongue is still where it should be (in my mouth). Thirdly, that has to have been one of the weirdest interactions I've ever had with another person, never mind the fact that said person is an android with advanced Artificial Intelligence. No way it actually happened.

Wes calls me, presumably, to check that I'm still alive the night after. She's good like that. I put her on speakerphone.

"River," Wes says, sounding offended that I didn't immediately pick up. "Answer just yes or no, because I don't want details. Did you have sex last night with the Sentinel?"

I'm shoveling down breakfast, which is to say, my mouth is half-stuffed with whatever I could find in my fridge and mixed with eggs. I choke on my monster omelet. "I--" I cough. It takes a few seconds and a sip from a mug of water before I can clear my airway. "No! Why would I-- No!"

"Okay, good. Just wanted to check just in case, because if you had, we'd be having a very long talk, you and I." She pauses. "Is the Sentinel still there?"

"No," I say, bewildered. I push my plate away, not at all hungry anymore, and check the time on my phone. In about fifteen minutes, I've got to leave for work if I want to be there on time. An uneasy feeling about Josh fills me. "They--They left last night, after they thanked me."

"Thanked you? For what?" Wes asks, perplexed and, at the same time, accusatory. "Why on earth do you need to be thanked? For not frying their entire systems in self-defense?"

I feel defensive, even though logically, I know she's not blaming me for anything. "Don't you 'for what' me. I don't know. Maybe they just couldn't say 'sorry'. It's like that time you thought I stole your fries, but it was Burner, and then you said it was my fault for looking so hungry in the first place."

"It's all the past," Wes replies, airily. "Anyway, I'm going to put you on the phone with a superhero who is ridiculously invested in the Sentinel's well being. Tell her what she needs to know so she can get out of my house and I can figure out what I'm going to do about my security deposit." On her end, I hear another voice say something, but it's too faint to pick out any specific words. "Yes, my security deposit," Wes says to them, voice a little fainter, but harder now, from the speaker. "It might be funny to you, but I really can't afford this."

I furrow my eyebrows, leaning my head in, listening and trying to figure out who-- "Is that superhero by any chance the Guardian?"

"Oh, you know her?" Wes's voice darkens. Oop. She's angry. "Then why is she breaking into my house and refusing to leave instead of contacting you on her own?"

"I told you," the Guardian, milder but more amused than I've ever heard her, says as the phone is passed on. "I got the locations mixed up. The Sentinel sent me on a wild goose chase, and I still had your address from when I wanted the consultation, so I--"

"You know what? I'm done with this. I'm going to get ready for work," I hear a fuming Wes say. "When I'm out of the bathroom, you'd better be gone. You owe me for my skylight, and you'd better clean the glass off my fancy rich carpet."

A door slams.

"So," I say, conversationally, when the Guardian doesn't try to explain what just went down. "Do you and the Sentinel just like to trespass on private property off-hours as a hobby, or-?"

"Is she single?" the Guardian asks.

"Sorry?"

"Your witch friend, Wesley. Is she single?"

"I--" Where do I even start? "What?"

"She won't say. Listen, I'm not the type to go after someone else's girl, so but I really want to know if she is. I know she does star chart readings and other magical services on the side, so I got her card, but I get the feeling she doesn't date clients, right?"

"You mean--" I'm trying to put two and two together. The flirting from the other day, Wes's reaction but then denial of everything... "You want her to be your nemesis?" Wes doesn't want one, though.

"No," the Guardian says, patiently, like I'm five. "I want her to be my girlfriend."

This is something infinitely more personal than being a nemesis then. Something possessive in me rears up at the thought of someone going full speed trying to date my best friend, and with the audacity to not even pine for an entire month before making a move. "Is this conversation even about the Sentinel anymore?" I demand. "Didn't you want to know-?"

"Oh, that," the Guardian laughs. It's a big laugh, not as big as Burner's, of course, but the kind of laugh where it comes out of your belly. I can almost hear the grin in her voice. "I just told her that so she'd hopefully give me your number for future reference, but she just ended up calling you instead. Is she always suspicious like that? It's kind of cute."

I'm confused instead of charmed. If you wanted my number to get together with my best friend, wouldn't you have just found me and asked? "So...you don't want to know about the Sentinel?"

"Of course not. They're their own droid," the Guardian says, matter-of-factly. "They can make their own decisions."

"And breaking into her house?" I have to lean forward against the table. "That's a negative for her."

"I know. I really did mess up the locations. Sentinel's just an ass when they're frazzled. I thought they were offline and needed support, but I guess they just didn't want me to know where they were."

"Right," I say. I glance out the window. Sun's more than risen. I'll need to head out. "So about the Sentinel--"

"It was nice to talk to you, in any case," the Guardian says cheerily. "I'll take it from your reaction that she's single. Thanks, River Ng. I'll hang up here, so Wesley won't get mad at me."

"I--"

The dial tone answers me. I pick up my phone, contemplate how long it'll take before the Guardian returns Wes's phone to her, and then set a text to send in ten minutes.

so are you gonna be her gf wes

NO,  replies Wes.