Kyrin sits at his usual spot next to his computer, typing busily and glancing guiltily at his unfinished map of Middle Earth, which is nowhere near to being done. His partner, Alex, has been at their grandparent's house for the past 16 hours, and Kyrin misses them so fucking much. His heart aches.

Now, at least, he's outed himself online, but he dreads having to tell his family, who will no doubt launch a barrage of questions and doubts at him as usual. He also worries about transitioning, and what will happen to his natural singing voice, and whether he'll be able to sing like he used to while on testosterone.

Sure, people know of his pronouns and his inner self, but he has a boatload of new problems and questions that he has to deal with. He's not rich enough to have lots of surgeries, so he's going to have think more on which ones he'd like, as well as whether he wants to transition at all. He's already a boy, so why is this even necessary? But, he also has on-and-off dysphoria, which doesn't help one bit. Additionally, he can't hide his femaleness enough for people to stop saying 'her' and 'she' when in his presence.

He understands his family, and knows that it won't be easy for any of them, so he's not sure whether he should transition later in life or right now. He knows it's going to take a while, and that it's going to involve a lot of paperwork, convincing officials, etc. It's not going to be easy, but he wants to stop being pushed into the wrong place, a place where he's constantly uncomfortable, and assumed to have certain opinions and thoughts which he usually doesn't have. Ie, womanhood.

This is the first time, he realizes, that he's been able to use a pronoun to refer to himself that he's been totally comfortable and happy with. He's not sure of what will happen, except that it's going to be rough. He just survived the last one, the ADD one, successfully, but this one is going to be a struggle that may never let up. He may even lose his entire family, but this is a stretch. Everyone in his family is tightly knit, and would prefer to stay that way, so they'll probably choose accepting him rather than kicking him out. At least, that's Kyrin's greatest wish right now. Aside from seeing his beloved Alex in person. That one is a pretty big wish too. Now, all Kyrin has to do now is speak.

So, while other people are worrying about grammar, Kyrin is worrying about his entire life. What will happen next? Will he be prepared for it? Or will it blow him away like a leaf?