“Why couldn’t I have been born somewhere else? In a different time?”

“Maybe in our next lives, we can live how we would like.”

“You believe in that? Next lives?”

“It is possible. No one knows what happens after we die.”

“So I should just die right now, right?”

“It would not be the best choice, Master. Try to live the life you have now.”

“So what do you think happens when we actually die?”

“I do not like to think about such things, Master.”

“Oh, really?” He sits up, picking the flowers. The smell of bitter smoke hangs around him.

I wrinkle my nose, thankful that the night hides the action. “Yes. I would rather live here for a while, and then move on when my body decides it is ready.”

“So, what if you catch a disease? Or someone cuts it short? Like murder?”

I would be more prepared for death than these questions, but I think about them anyways. It was not often that wolves, omega or not, caught disease. The last time I became ill was right after the seer had taken me in, all those years ago. As for… murder?

“Why would anyone want to kill us?”

“Kai… just pretend. Think of it as fun.”

“It is a dark subject, Master. I cannot say there is any easy answer.”

“Just, what was the first thing you thought about?”

“It would not make sense for anyone to kill us.”

“Why?”

“We are not rich or famous. What would they earn with our deaths?”

“Okay, then,” he says, lying back down. He spreads himself across the flowers, like a snow angel. “Hm… what if someone wanted to kill you? Would you run or fight?”

“Well… I suppose I would protect myself. But, Master, if someone was trying to hurt you, I would do whatever I could to protect you.”

“You would kill someone to protect me?”

Why was he so interested in violence? “If it is necessary, Master. My goal would be to move you out of danger.”

“Like… sacrificing yourself? Like when you jumped up in the alley and scared those kids away? When you tried to scare Merle off?”

“Yes, like that. If that is what it takes, Master. I am your servant, after all.”

The rustling wind moves through the flowers and in the trees far away. I hear the murmurs of the river, the wings of an owl, the whirring of bugs.

“Wow.” He sits up again. “That’s amazing.”

“What is?”

“That you would actually die for me. But…” He’s frowning.

“What is wrong, Master?”

“Don’t people only die for people they love?”

My ears twitch. “Where did you hear that, Master?”

“Some books I read. They all go the same way.” His voice drops into something comical. “‘I would die for you… because I love you.’” His voice becomes normal. “But… we’re not… like that. You’re just doing it… because it’s your job. Your duty.”

I tilt my head. Dying because of love? I furrow my brows, trying to understand what Master is saying. “Do you mean… I need to ‘love’ you to properly die for you?”

“Sh! Don’t say it like that!”

His fingers cover my mouth. I stare at him from the ground. He’s looking straight ahead, into the distance. What was it that I could not say?

“You don’t need to… love me. You would still die for me ‘cause it’s your job. That’s good enough.” He’s uncomfortable with his words. He stares at his hand on my mouth and quickly lifts it away, wiping it on his shirt. “I mean, yeah, it sounds selfish. But… does that mean to die properly, I’d have to die for Merle?”

I sit up, bristling, and lean my face is close to his, fearing the answer. I bare my fangs. “Master, are you trying to kill yourself?! Do you know what would happen if you died?”

It comes out harsher than I meant. His whole face is surprised. We just stay like that, staring at each other. I sit back on my heels and brace myself for punishment.

But he does nothing. We just sit here, and I wonder what thoughts are swirling around in his head. He lies down, and I follow.

His voice is quiet when he finally speaks to the sky. “I wish we could go into the forest right now.”

“It is not safe, Master.”

He sighs. “I know. But before you, I’d go there all the time. I just wanted to be alone. I didn’t have to worry about wolves chasing me.”

His secret makes my stomach hurt a little. “You miss being there.”

“Yeah.” I hear the slight crunch of grass and flowers being crushed in his fist. “Sometimes I wish… I… I…”

…

I sigh to myself and finish the sentence for him. “You wish sometimes that we never met, so that you could go alone.”

“Yeah.”

“Is that why you are talking about death?”

“Well… not really. But… yeah. Sometimes I wish you weren’t in my life.”

“Master, if you wish…” My throat twists for some reason. It is like the conversation after we – I – stole the bread, watching him smoke, after we confronted the other children. “We could end our contract. And you could visit the forest again.”

“No.” There is fear in his voice.

“No?”

“…Can’t you just come with me?”

“Even if I was to come with you, Master, they would still take joy in scaring us. They enjoy those activities.”

“But you said you’d protect me.”

I close my eyes. “Yes. I did say I would protect you.” And I wanted – not needed – to follow him. Why could I not explain it? This wanting? My fingers raise to brush against the collar, feel the soft leather and tiny studs. When I open my eyes, he is sitting up over me, staring at me. “Yes, Master?”

“What are you doing?”

It is demanding, but curious. Nothing of his usual sharpness. I tilt my head slightly, trying to recall his voice again, but it only echoes in my mind. “I was thinking of what to say.”

“…And rubbing your collar helps you do that?”

“I suppose.”

“You mean… you don’t just have all the answers? From your training?”

“No. But I am sure there is a book with all the answers out there.”

I do not see his hand move. I only feel his palm over the back of my hand, his fingers between mine, as we make one stroke over the collar, gliding down my neck. My breath catches, my body freezes. My heart speeds up, but when I look at him, his face reveals nothing. “Master.” My voice sounds hushed and breathy.

His fingers, they’re so light against my jaw. His traces are tickles against my face, then! They trace over, part my lips. My heart shudders against my chest. My voice freezes. He’s looking at my fangs, I know it as he touches them, his finger lifting my lip slightly for his curiosity, and I’m sure my breath is warm on his fingers. Slowly, he closes my mouth, and leans his head on my chest. Was he listening to my heart beating? It quickens as I feel his weight on me, him resting on me. What do I do? I wanted to hold him even closer, like when my littermates would huddle close against the winter winds, their limbs draped across each other, while I shivered alone.

A warm gust of wind sails through the night, and I could feel his hair through my fingers, a taste of his scent, his breath on my skin, his hand cupping my cheek–

“Kai, stop.”

I lift my hands away from him as we sit up, dazed. My heart thuds with fear. I ready myself for his fists, but I can’t stop staring at him, his slightly-open lips.

“What are you doing?” His breathing is quick.

“Forgive me, Master.” I look up at him. “I do not know why I thought that was okay.”

“To do what?” He is more curious again than angry.

“To…” Or was he simply forcing me to think about this again? I look down at the flowers. “To… put my arms around you.”

He sighs, then stands. “I’ll forgive you, but only this time. I order you. Don’t touch me again.”

“Yes, Master.” He looks at me, but his gaze is not angry. I stand when he tugs the leash.

“I want to see the forest again. I want you to watch over me.”

I shiver all the way down to the tip of my tail, my toes. “Yes, Master.”

We walk along the path, the moon barely lighting our way through the thick cover of clouds. The forest is still dark, but the outlines of trees are visible against the moonlight. I can see the leaves rustling as the wind blows through them.

“You can guide me, right? ‘Cause your eyes are better than mine?”

“Yes, Master. How far do you want to go?”

“How far can I go?”

“We can go as far in as you would like, but it would be safer to stay on the edges.”

“Huh. I want to go really far.” He pushes me in front of him, and my ears flatten with fear, my tail trying to tuck itself between my legs. He looks back. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I–” No. I will protect him. “Let’s… let’s go. I will guide you.” I reach up to feel the invisible cord dangling from my neck. Look into the darkness of the forest, and take the first step in.

I am suddenly drenched with the stench of fear, but barely any of it is mine. I turn around and see Master’s wide eyes and feel his hand tighten around the leash. Then his strong grip around my arm. The sounds of the forest come alive, but the sounds are of growling, soft cackling, the pacing of paws. A shadowy presence surrounds us as the silvery outlines of wolves appear.

I smell Master’s sweat as soon as my mother speaks.

“Hello, our dear omega.” She smiles, as only a wolf can. “I see you have brought a visitor.”

His voice is barely a whisper. “Kai, who is that?” I feel him shivering and wish I could comfort him.

But I am no longer allowed to touch him.

She grows impatient. “Well, Omega? Answer me. Say something. Or are you too scared to answer your own mother?”

Master’s breathing grows slow and panicked. “Your mother…?”

“We should turn back, Master,” I say.

More outlines of wolves appear from between the trees. Their laughs surround us.

“What a fine, meaty boy.”

“A juicy offering.”

“He wants to be one of us, I suppose.”

“But he is linked to Omega.”

“Two omegas is not a bad idea.”

“His soul has not rotted all the way yet, though.”

“I guess Omega has been doing better than we thought.”

The voices overlap and fill the air like mist, their words mixing with their laughs.

My mother steps forward. “What are you doing here, Omega? The full moon has not arrived yet.”

I turn around to head out of the forest, but as soon as I turn, she is in front of us, the rest of the clan lined up around her. Master screams and pulls the leash so hard I lose my breath and stumble. But I move in front of him, shielding him from the clan.

She tilts her head, her tail waving behind her. “Well? How is he? We cannot let you leave without a proper answer from you.”

“She’s not even moving her mouth…” Master whispers.

He grips my arm, his hand cold and trembling. The smell of his sweat and fear pulses with every heartbeat, his natural scent completely masked.

“You told him he was no longer allowed in the forest,” she muses. “So why did you allow him to do so?”

Finally, words. “I only wanted to serve my master,” I say, bowing my head, more in shame than respect. “Even if we were to go into the forest, I swore to protect him from anything that would happen.”

“He knows the conditions of the contract already.” She snorts. “And you still allowed him.”

“Before we bonded, he used to visit these woods at night. He wanted to visit them again tonight, so I allowed him.”

She shakes her head. “This is our territory now, my omega. You are no longer allowed here, except during the full moon.” She smiles, her fangs glittering in the moonlight. “Of course, since you brought your master here, we will not hurt you. We are not allowed to hurt your master. But it will not stop us from following him every time he steps foot into this forest after sunset.”

More howls and laughter fill the air. I want to bare my teeth, my fists, but I cannot. I bow my head again and flatten my ears. “We will leave now.”

“Of course you may.” She moves aside, and the others follow. The edge of the forest is behind her.

As I lead Master out of the forest, I tense as they sniff us, their shadowy bodies brushing against us and moving through my limbs, moving through the tiny space between Master and me, their rough fur against my bare legs, their paws stepping on my feet, tugging at the leash, and I know that he can feel them too. His arm hugs me from behind, his sweat dripping onto me. We finally leave the forest, but not before hearing her voice again. “Goodbye for now, Master and Omega. Come again soon.” More laughter, before it all fades away into the air.

Master says nothing as we stumble home, his hand gripping the leash the entire way, as if letting go would mean certain death.