“Hows that Dick Mendoza? Hard enough for you?”
“Fuck you Vega!” Dick heads in this damn prison. “Better not drop yo damn soap.”
Its been three months. I really hate the people they put me with behind these bars. I want to kill almost all of them. The only real reason i haven’t fucked up is because of Chad. He needs me out there in the real world. I mean part of me knows he can make it on his own, but the other part of me, the part that screams at me. That part knows he cant do it.
Sitting here in this damn bunk, its so damn stupid. I fucking hate it. Everything smells so damn bad. I dont know why but im always mad when im here. The food sucks ass too. I remember my first week here, i didnt eat anything. I wouldnt eat a damn thing. Not until Chad gave me his puppy eyes. He spent the whole time he had with me lecturing on my eating. He went on and on about how if i dont eat i wont be alive and ill die. How i wont be able to be there for him. Man, i know he was talking bullshit, but he knows how to break me. Another thing is, Chad, is now on the market for the dealings. People might try and pick him up. I am so fucking scared that he will say yes when they find him.
“Carlos Mendoza.” The guard says
“Yeah thats me?” I look at him and its weird. This isnt a normal thing that happens.
“You are being let out in an hour, call someone to pick you up and pack your things.” I look at him, this cant be real. Someone on the outside did this. I hope to god its not Chad.
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“I have to fall in love with someone. They would let me out after that. Ive been looking for ages, my sister is stuck because the one she loves is in the gang. He hates it too because he is always scared she is gonna get hurt or that he will die before they have their baby.”
“Well, i dont think i can help you out there, i mean i really like you ecstasy, but if your really in this then i dont think…”
“Stop, Chad im not asking you to save me. In fact i do anything to keep you as far away from all this as i possiably could. I was so hessitant the first time i saw you. Its so hard to find love. Im gay and in a gang. I always thought i was never going to get out, and it scared me so much because the first day i walked in here…you gave me something i havnt had in so long.”
“Ecstasy, how long have you been coming into the cafe?” he looks at me wworried. Like he is scared. Like i shouldnt have said anything. Why does it hurt so much when i dont even know him. Its like every fiber of my being is being pushed into cement.
“Almost three months. And it wasnt because of you at first. I really love the coffee here and then one day i came in and you were standing here, with a guy. He kissed you and you looked so happy. I wanted to be that happy. I saw the guy you were with a week later, he was walking down an ally. I saw him with this guy, and it wasnt just any guy. It was someone from my gang. He was buying something from him. I told myself to stay out of it and i did for awhile. Then i noticed you stopped coming to work. I was so curious of what happened because you looked so happy. So, i asked tiffiany, your manager, and she said you had a bad break up and you couldnt come into work because you were not feeling to well. The next day i say him again in the ally. I walked up to him and i asked, “Why did you hurt that guy you were with? And what were you doing talking to one of us?” He said he loved you so much but, he couldnt stop his addiction. He wanted drugs more than you. After that i went to walk away and he said, “Plus, i wanted to be in the gang so bad. I love the idea of family.” Oh man! He pissed me off so much. I decked him in the jaw.”
“So, Jason is in your Gang? Thats why he left me? And you want to be with me to get out of your Gang?”he has a tear in his eye. Im gay but i still dont know how to handle tears.
“I dont know wy he left you. And no. i dont want to be with you so i can get out of my Gang. i want to get to know you because you seem like an amazing guy. And for some reason i cant stop thinking about you. Getting out of the Gang would be great as a plus.” Next thing i know im being slapped and then his lips are on mine. I feel his tear slid down his face while we kiss. Yet he pushes into me. I pull him so close and kiss him back wrapping my shaking hands around him.
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