The first entry catches my eye. None of it is written in an Ayhirian language. Every word in perfect English. The only time she speaks, it is with Sailor. She has every opportunity to use it with Milo and I, but she doesn’t. Except when we fight. I respect it and only speak to her in this country’s official language.

24 Mashi, 346

I dont like it here. Its scary. Tristayne and Milo are nice but I dont wanna be a soldier. They wont listen if I say I wanna leave. Maybe one day when I'm older I can go. Im scared I might not be what they want me to be. I guess we will see. Ill write in this later probably. Bye.

Reading it breaks my heart. I never knew how scared, and alone she felt back then. At least she had some outlet before she met Sailor. She lost all of her memories after that surgery. Six years old and lost in the world. She didn’t know me anymore. I look through it and watch the handwriting become neater. Every year, better handwriting, longer entries. Watch how much she changed. She became less afraid of the world and began embracing it. Then one strikes my eye. She wrote it a few days ago.

4 Nokaji, 357

I remember how much I used to hate it here. I still hate it. The only thing that here helped me with was finding something I'm actually good at. Sometimes... I wonder what I did when I was little to have fun. I know that I had a family on Urbem. Did I go out with them? What did I do?

I feel like I’m supposed to be part of something bigger and better. Instead, I’m trapped. I'm useless. Useless, useless, USELESS. In a year I'll have to leave just like Ty and Sailor are going to. I don't want to do this my entire life. I know this isn't my purpose. One day I'm leaving this place and never coming back. I don't care if it's treason. They can't arrest me for it if I'm not here.

I'm so tired of sitting in bed at night with crippling anxiety. Feeling like everyone hates me. Having so many feelings that make me want to die. Every moment makes me feel more and more terrible. 'She might have mental health issues after this surgery.' Yes, I'm very aware of that. I'd never tell anyone how fucked up I am. I'm not going to be locked up in a tighter cell because I can't keep my mind in check. This place is the reason I'm this way. I want out. I want to go home.

I want out. I want out. Let me out.

Reading all of this breaks my heart. I should have noticed her struggling. She's too good at hiding it, though. This front that she puts up... is it because she's scared that we'll send her away? Or does she want us to not worry about her? I want better for her, I really do. I won't lock her up for feeling broken. If she really thinks that getting out of here is her only option, I will do it. That is if she even comes back. I know that Sailor has always wanted out too. Just probably not to this extent.

What am I going to do with her when Ty and Sailor go? Now that I know all of this, I'm going to have to worry about her. Always. Every day.

"Yve," I whisper. "Please come back tonight."