Attending classes, studying, sleeping. My life is pretty boring as I don’t know what to do with it when Martin isn’t around. He’s always been the one who dragged me around, and now I realize how much I depended on him. He was the one who colored my world with all of his ideas, and I am left with these soulless memories of a friendship that meant my everything.

I just can’t help but wonder how he could just give up on our friendship. He’s now Mr. Popular, handsome and a decent hockey player; all the girls are swooning over him. He’s shining among the constellations and I am just this tiny fragment from his past, long forgotten, shining only through memories of a star that used to be. I look at these past light from the sky and I let myself drown in my own damn tears, alone in that dorm that used to be our new start.

And when I think about him, my chest feels so heavy that sometimes I forget it even aches. A constant pain that soon became a part of myself.

I can almost hear his voice telling me everything’s all right, a fiddle of his smile crossing my mind. My head gets warm at the memory of his presence. He was always there for me, so much that I can feel the place he occupied. I crave his being here, and I can’t help but hope that, someday, he’s going to turn back to me. Hoping that this is all a prank, a stupid joke like he used to pull. One of his tricks, his trolls as he used to call them. I tend to forget how joyful we used to be, to feel that my present situation has alway been. I can’t seem to grasp his memory anymore; I can’t even define my own damn self if he isn’t around.