I laid alone in my bed. Andy had left a while ago. I had freaked out. I couldn’t stand all the touching. I told her to go.

Freak. Ugly. Monster.

The words of my father still stung. As did the scars.

Kissing Andy was fine. Hugging her was fine. But then her bare hands touched the scars on my back.

So I freaked out. I told Andy that I couldn’t do this and that I’ll see her later. She had stared at me with concern for a second before nodding and leaving.

Of course I had freaked out. Child abuse can fuck up a person so much in so many unknown ways.

I just wished I could be normal. Well normal for a demigod. At least I kissed her. At least I kissed the girl I wanted to kiss for the last two years. I used to even pulled away even if someone just poked me or grabbed my hand. I was broken.

Memories began to cloud my version. My father hitting me with a broken wire. Halfway drowning me in the bathtub. Alex screaming from his room for someone to let him out. For someone to save him and me. My step mother’s funeral.

For years no one came.

Until I prayed. I prayed to whatever deity was up there to save us. Before I only had prayed to the Catholic god.

My mom appeared before me. She took one look and started to cry and apologize for leaving me and Alex alone for so long. She said she should have checked up on us. She touched my hand very gently and had told me that I could hate her for abandoning me and Alex.

And then she disappeared. I heard my father scream from his room.

My mom unlocked my door a few second later. There was blood on her hands.

She took me and Alex to Little Olympus that night.

It took a long time for me to even let my new siblings hug me. I was getting better.

Ha. I can’t even lie to myself about that. I’ll never be better. Not really.

Why did I even invite her up to my room? Was I really that freaked out about Bobbie Flora that my impulses took over for a minute.

I rolled over. I should get up and go do something. No. Doing something didn’t seem like a good idea.

I just wanted to lay here until I got hungry or had use the restroom.

A knock caused me to unfortunately to sit up. “Come in!” I yelled.

Alex poked his head in. “I saw Andy leave a few minutes ago. Are you guys a thing?” He asked.

“Maybe? We kissed.” I said.

“Aw, your first kiss.”

“Shut up.” I threw my pillow at him. He dodged it and laughed.

“Little sis, you have terrible aim.”

“As do you. Must be a family trait.”

We laughed. A family trait.

It was our family joke, just a stupid joke. Me and Alex. Alex and me. We both actually had good aim. I was a great archer and Alex played football.

I had Alex all my life, if it wasn’t for him, who knows where I’d be now. Probably dead. No, definitely dead. Either dead by my own hands or my father’s.

“So how is everyone? With the whole Allen Raye being murdered thing? Especially you. I know you were friends with him.” I asked him.

“Scared, Su and Lu said people should start hanging out in at least pairs. Of course, it’s not like they leave each other’s side anyway. As for me, well I don't know. I feel numb.” Alex said.

“Yeah.” I said. I really didn’t want to . Because I knew him so . And I knew he was gonna bring something annoying up. Or he’ll bring up Jamie because of Allen Raye’s death.

“Alright. Nerd.” Alex rolled his eyes.

I pulled open the large stone doors of the library. It was a beautiful place. Almost everything was made of stone. I remember when my mom gave me and Alex a quick tour and told us that it was made of stone because of what happened to the Library of Alexandria. Some of the scrolls and the books were actually from there saved by Ath- someone I wasn’t allowed to name. The lost goddess is what we called her. Anyway there was also paintings and statues of the gods. And unlike museums the statues were painted and had cloths over certain parts. Once certain demigods- June Grace and Bianca Jack -took off the cloths before we were to hear a lecture on the Library of Alexandria from Clio the Muse. I had to help cover small children’s eyes while other put the clothes back on. No one wants to see a statue of their naked parent.

I grabbed a scroll about my mom and went over to one of the tables. Siobhan North, daughter of Hypnos, was already there but she was sleeping. Her glasses were still on and there was a trail of drool coming from her mouth. Siobhan probably had pulled an all nighter or was doing something in her dreams. People only saw her awake during the night or sometimes at dinner. I remembered how her and her friends, Abbie Dare and Sri Serket, had a sleepover in her room and both of them ended up getting their faces drawn on by her.

Besides the two of us and a few nymphs, the library was empty. Most people came in there during the morning and just checked out stuff.

I rolled out the scroll and began to read. I found myself feeling drowsy as I read about how my mom and Hephaestus got a divorce.

I soon fell asleep. A bad thing to do near a daughter of Hypnos.

I stood in a blue room with a doll in my hand. The ground beneath shook me. I looked down.

The ground was clear or there was none. I couldn’t tell. Below me I could see people. Jamie. Allen Raye. Levi Albright. Merlin Grey. Kane Franks. Gale Harold. Lucy Brown. John Dove. Jordan Mell. London Mell. Matilda Smith. Reid Lin. Ronan Peterson. Nariko Yoko. Lily Woods. Mab Jones. Ezra Nelson. Harry Johnson. Garnet al Abbas.

Their eyes glowed pure white. Their hands reached up and pulled me down. I tried to scream but I couldn’t.

“Reina!” Siobhan shook me awake.

I looked at her. “Are you okay?” She asked.

I nodded. “I saw your dream. Don’t lie. You were probably in REM sleep for about one minute. A very short time for it to all go so bad.” Siobhan frowned.

“It was just a nightmare. It isn’t a big thing since all the things that are going on.” I said.

“Hmm. Sure. I guess so. But I don’t think anyone dreams that vividly without meaning. You weren’t breathing. You were dying.” Siobhan put her hand right next to mine.

“You know, you should mine your own business. Thanks for waking me though. But don’t worry about the dream. Nightmares are common for me. I am fine.” I assured her.

Siobhan rolled her eyes and sighed. Then she got up and left the library. I glared at her as she left. It was a big deal at all. I was fine.

Freak. Monster.

I blinked. I wouldn’t think about myself in that way. Never again.