I reached under my mattress and grabbed the pack of cigarettes that I kept hidden. 

I rarely smoked at home because of the danger of being caught so they had gone a little stale. 

My hand was shaking as I took the pack and bounced one up and into my mouth. The time read 12:36 A.M.

As soon as I tried to light it I heard a tap on my window.

It startled me so bad that I dropped the lighter and threw the cigarette.

I turned to see Jordan kneeling on the roof with a finger to his lips.

My heart felt like it was going to go flying out of my chest. I slowly made my way to the window and unlocked it.

I stepped back as Jordan's tall ass crouched and stepped into my room. 

It reminded me of when Haru would sneak in and we would stay up all night talking, smoking, and reading manga.

He always had to bend so low just to get in.

But the feel of this was different. "Way different."

Looking at Jordan I realized he looked more manlier than usual. (To be fair I never really paid attention to how he looked or before...but lately.....)

He was not wearing a shirt, just a jacket exposing part of his broad chest, loose sweats with our school name on the side, and solid black Nixe tine shoes. 

His hair was pushed back under a cap that was on backwards.

I then remembered that I had been crying. My arm moved on it's own, covering my face. I was still shivering.

I could slightly see the light of the moon disappear, blocked by a shadow looming over me. Jordan moved my arm away. 

I tried to pull it back up but he was just too strong. He kept a tight hold on both of my wrists. I had no other choice but to squeeze my eyes shut and turn my head away. He then proceeded to pull me into a hug.

I felt myself tremble some more. And then the unexpected came.

I started to cry again.

Right into his jacket. Up against his chest.

I could feel his heart beat. It was somehow......"Soothing." 

"There's nothing to be ashamed of.." He said with a voice so low and sweet. 

"You can cry, scream (although I wouldn't recommend it at this hour while your family is sleeping....) Show me all of the sides of you Coy." He pulled my face into the palms of his hands. 

I stared into his eyes. I had cried for too long to have the energy to try to pull away, or even look away.

I went into a daze staring into his eyes as he wiped my tears away. Now that I was able to see them clearly and steadily, the cocoa gleamed more of an amber. "Amber and gold...woah.."

  For a moment we just stood there staring into each others eyes. 

Something told me that this was one of those moments that I would remember for the rest of my life.

"Coy..." He said gently, staring into my eyes still, as he caressed my face.

*Shiver*

Now that my energy was gone, both physical and mental, I could look at him properly. 

I closed my eyes and, laid my head against his hand.

"So warm.." 

 "Whoah whoah whoah!!!....I cant just become a girl here and do this to another guy...." 

Jordan holding and stroking my face made me feel like such a large weight was lifted off though.... 

So much so that I felt light headed. I leaned against him, my head against his chest once more. 

I began to sink into him feeling his warmth. Feeling him holding me.

"Yeah this is okay." I thought nuzzling in. "Friends can comfort one another."

I thought of all of the times that Haru and Luke had comforted me. (Haru was kicking Luke's ass in the comforting department though).

 However, Luke always has had his own way of showing affection. He may come off as cold, rude, and unapproachable, but in reality Luke is....well.. cold, rude, unapproachable, and caring. 

The type of guy you had to get to know before you could tell how big of a heart he has. That's why he's had so much trouble keeping boyfriends.

I exhaled. 

"Do you want to on the bed?"

"Come again?!?!?!" I shoved Jordan away holding him by the shoulders. 

"kncejngiebveibi!!!!!!!" 

 Was as much as my brain could articulate.

"I said do you want to sit on the bed?... You look like you've had a rough day..."

"Umm...yeah ...lets do that." I let go of him

"God this is embarrassing!"

We sat on the bed and I still couldn't calm down from the intense embarrassment. 

He put one knee up on the bed close to me.

flinch!*

My back was all stiff with sweat running down it.

He then reached into his jacket pocket and extended his arm. He then handed me a -

"A yellow tulip?" I whispered. I turned to Jordan. 

"Jordan about the flowers...."

Our knees touched.

Thump!  

"Eh?......there it went again.....my heart felt like it had momentarily stopped........Ah... well...better than beating uncontrollably in front of a guy and pumping blood down to..."

"EEEKK!!! Nope didn't happen! Nope! hu-uh! NO SIRREE!!!"

"I was just wondering.....I mean...um.."

"Ssshhiiitttt. The words just wont come out........ I don't even stammer during presentation projects in class."

Jordan turned sideways, kicked his Nixe's off, and scooted back, leaning his back against my wall.

I whipped my head back towards him. 

"Hey You can't just..."

Tingle!~

The look in his eyes was so serious, so fierce, so...worried for me?

He patted the mattress, gesturing for me to come sit by him.

Gulp 

I slowly made my way back on the bed and laid my back against the wall as well. 

"Talk to me about it."

He slowly slid his hand into mine.

"Coy."

"SDFGRHTYNTHDHGTYHB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"