First mile. "Hey, this 700-foot climb is not so bad."
Second mile. "Holy crap Batman, why did I choose such a climb I can't make it."
Third mile. "Yay, it is all downhill from here"
Fourth mile. "No, it is not. They lied to me. Everything lied to me."
Fifth mile. "Ok, just smaller hills throughout it is ok."
Sixth mile. "I have to poop."
Seventh mile. "Oh, nice a guy to talk to."
Eighth mile. "Nope, he is gone."
Ninth mile. "Nice almost to mile ten."
Ninth mile. ... "wait I thought the last one was the ninth mile."
Tenth mile. "Yay, now my nipples hurt."
Eleventh mile. "Who am I?"
Twelfth mile. "Why are we here?"
Last mile. "Oh look a 300-foot climb. How I missed you."
Please don't contact me for any reason as I will be in a coma.