We sang, drank soda, ate pizza, and chatted for the remainder of our two hours in the karaoke room. When we eventually left, it was far too late for me to go home: the subway stations were closed for the night and there were no buses I knew of that could take me back home at this hour. Neither did I want to go home face my mother after disappearing for the whole evening. Honestly, I could deal with that when morning came. I was far too tired to bother, just then.
Ceres and I took a cab together. I rested my head on her shoulder as we sat side-by-side on the back seat of the car. I have no idea how long the ride had been, since I was half-asleep during most of it. I remember climbing four flights of stairs before Ceres opened the door to her apartment. She asked me to keep quiet; Zoe and Sophie were asleep in their bedroom. A lot of what had happened during that time is a blur to me, but I know for a fact that I must have showered at some point and that I put on Ceres’ old pajamas to sleep.
One thing, though, remained clear to me. I was laying down on a mattress by Ceres’ bed, staring through the window at the dark starless sky.
“I love stars,” I heard her say. “There's not many of those around here.”
“Light pollution,” I told her. "It makes everything else hard to see.”
We remained in silence for another minute or so.
“I miss the starry sky from back home.”
It was, I realized, the first time Ceres had spoken of her past to me. I began to question myself if it was all right to ask her about it. Maybe, just maybe, she'd be willing to tell me.
“Ceres,” I called, but there was no answer. I wonder if she was asleep already, or if she was simply avoiding the subject. It didn’t matter. It probably wasn’t the right time to ask her about her personal life. I mean, I had only just met her that day. It was striking enough that I learned so much about her in one night already. Give it time, Janis.
I must have fallen asleep without noticing. I found myself at the top of a hillside, looking down at the parade of small shanty houses build on top of each other. I knew that place, from long ago, but it never looked quite the same in my dreams. The sky was a bleak gray, resembling neither night nor day, and there weren't any people there. Only me.
I went down a sinuous path between the nearest houses, instinctively as if I had known the way all along. My old house was at the end of the path, tucked in-between several others. It did not look hospitable, but it was home. I went to the doorstep. Once I got there, somehow, I was already inside, in my room. My current room, even though that one is in an altogether different place from the old house at the hillside. I was a little confused as to what I was doing there, but then again, in the way of dreams, that did not matter. Then I heard shattering glass and shouting. I knew instantly what kind of dream this was.
Hello, nightmare, it’s been a while.
There was my dad, drunker than usual, shouting at my mother. And there was her, holding a frying pan, ready to tackle him. In reality I never really saw her hit him, I was inside my room the whole time, but imagination seemed to fill in the gaps where memory didn’t suffice. In my dreams I saw him punch her and kick her, as I know for a fact that he did. Then I saw her hit him back with the frying pan. The noise it made sounded just as vivid in my head as it had when I was five. And finally, I was being dragged outside the house by my mother, as my father laid unconscious on the floor. I looked back, trying to see him, but the house was no longer there.
And then I woke up.
I was back in Ceres’ room, in the real world. My cellphone told me it was already way past three in the morning. I knew I needed to get some more sleep, or it’d be impossible to remain awake during work. But I didn’t want to risk going back into that dream. Instead, I stood up and opened the door to the living room.
Zoe was sitting at the table, drinking a cup of tea.
“Can’t sleep?” she asked me.
“I had a nightmare.”
“Poor thing. Can I offer you some tea?”
I accepted and sat down by her side. We stood there in silence for a while, just the two of us, sipping tea. It was warm and made me feel less anxious and messed up inside. It was enough to make me open myself up to Zoe, just a little.
“I want to know more about her,” I said.
Zoe smiled briefly. I felt my cheeks warm up. It was embarrassing to tell her that. Ceres was her sister, after all. And I had no idea what I was to any of them. An acquaintance? A friend, maybe?
“You know,” said Zoe. “Cherry had said the exact same thing about you, before.”
“What do you mean ‘before’? Like, earlier today?”
“That too. But she told me about you before. The girl from the bookshop. I remember when Cherry told me that she wanted to meet you, some day.”
“When... When was that?”
“Weeks ago. She used to come home with a book from your shop every once in a while, looking miserable and saying that you didn’t even look at her face,” Zoe chuckled. “Please don’t tell her that I told you this.”
My jaw had dropped. I mean, what?! Ceres had been to the shop before?! How come I had never noticed her until then?
“I didn't know...” I told Zoe.
“Yeah, figures,” she laughed. “Cherry always told me about how you seemed to care more about the books than about the people. I wonder what she did to catch your attention.”
That definitely sounded like me. Also, dang! Of course those were not Ceres’ day-to-day clothes. She must have worn them on occasion, hoping I’d notice her then. Those were her stage clothes, after all. And the weird make-up! I can’t believe that was for me!
I began to question how many of those day’s “coincidences” were really coincidental. Was it really by chance that I met Ceres later at that restaurant? Or did she begin to follow me at some point? Wasn’t it possible that she forgot the book at the restaurant on purpose? Maybe just so she had an excuse to invite me out. Well, that was silly, she could have just outright invited me.
“Janis?” Zoe called me. “Your tea is spilling.”
It was. I had just spilled tea on the table by mistake.
“Sorry,” I told her. She didn’t seem to mind. “Did... did Ceres say anything else about me?”
“Just that she wanted to meet you,” said Zoe. “And that you seemed nice.”
Nice? How about that! I was the antisocial girl behind the counter of a laws book store. Exactly what part of that seemed nice, I wondered? I was mad at myself for never having noticed Ceres before that day, when she was obviously aware of me for much longer.
“Our birthdays are two days apart,” I told Zoe. “And she told me she doesn’t like broccoli.”
“Did she, now?” She did. It was one of the things we’d talked about back at the karaoke room: our likes and dislikes. Zoe seemed amused. “Well, don't you think that’s a shame? Broccoli are said to be good for your health. You know, when she was a kid, Ceres made a fuss because mom made her eat cauliflower and she thought it was some sort of broccoli in disguise. And, also, there was this one time—”
The door to Ceres’ room opened. The girl stood at the doorway, with her eyebrows raised, looking at us.
“You know, Zo... You better not be telling Janis those stupid stories from back home. You promised me you’d never speak of that to anyone.”
Zoe bit her lower lip. “Sorry, kid,” she told me. “Story-time is over for now.” And then she put one hand beside her mouth and half-whispered, half-said to me: “I’ll tell you all of them next time.”
“That’s enough,” Ceres reprehended her. She sighed, as Zoe went back into her bedroom. “Honestly, that’s just disrespectful.” I could not help but giggle at Ceres’ indignation. Surprisingly enough, she didn’t hold it against me. What she did was look at me for a moment and smile.
She looked a lot less impressive in her pajamas than she did in that colorful stage outfit. Her hair was disheveled and unruly. She looked shorter, chubbier, and grumpier than she had before. Her smile, though, was every bit as beautiful as I remember it being.
“Are you feeling better, Janis?”
I wondered what that was about.
“Better?” I repeated.
“You had a headache when you came inside, before. Is it gone?”
“Oh...” I guess I must have had. I couldn’t recall much about what had happened just then. “Yes, I'm all better now, thanks.”
“I'm glad,” she said. And she meant it, too, I knew it from the way she smiled at me. “Still, it’s almost four. Are you not sleeping well? Do you need anything?”
I told her that I didn’t, that I was just coming out of the room to cool my head after some bad dreams. I was completely awake at that point and unlikely to fall asleep anytime soon, so I figured I’d remain up for a little longer.
“I have an idea,” said Ceres. §
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