~NATE~

9-hour shifts. 9 hours of pure chaos. 9 hours that I wouldn’t give up for anything. Getting to see the recovery of my patients is the most gratifying experience in my life. I do hate having to be away from Alex for so long, I have strange need to protect him. Alex probably hates the fact that I’m so overbearing, but I can’t help it. My pager buzzed irritably, snapping me out of my thoughts. I yank out my earbuds and sigh, paperwork. In reality, being a doctor isn’t all that glamorous, it’s mostly paperwork. I crawl off the cot and walk to the front desk.

When I get there, Justine is waiting for me, stacks of paper resting on her desk. “Are those mine?” I internally groan, I wanted to get home a little early to see Alex.

“No!” Justine nearly shouts, “you need to go home Dr. Angevin, didn’t you say you had things to do? And that you needed to get groceries?” She huffily turns toward her desk, “I’ll take care if this, don’t worry, it’s not something that only you can do.”

“Alright, thank you, Justine!” I turned away quickly, eager to get home. Normally I would put up a little more of a fight, but I can tell Alex has been struggling lately, I need to be there for him.

~

When I finally get home, it’s quiet, which is odd. Normally Alex would be playing video games, studying with friends, starting dinner, or something. I pull out my keys in a hurry, I need to make sure he’s okay. I fumble, trying desperately to balance the groceries in my arms, but manage to push the keys into the door a little later, but turning them is another story. I pull out my phone and try to call Alex, “Shoot, pick up!” The call goes straight to voicemail instead. Despite my failure to contact Alex, I hear thudding footsteps approach the door and kick it open. “Alex, give me a hand, would you?” I say from behind the groceries, “Alex?” He reaches up to help, but something is wrong. I’m not sure what, or how I can tell, but something is wrong. I stare at him for probably a little too long while trying to pinpoint the problem.

“How was your day?” Alex sets the groceries down and I copy him. He’s trying too hard. I can tell when he’s hurting, something must have happened. I answer him distractedly, still wracking my brain for a reason he could be so down.

“Hey, do you want me to make dinner tonight instead? You seem like you need to rest,” I frown and try to check his temperature, but he jumps back instinctively. Of course, he refuses, I didn’t expect him to let me help or do it myself. All I want to do is help him, I need to see him smile. I shrug it off and grab a textbook to study, but I sincerely hope he knows how much I care. “If you really want to cook dinner, go for it. But please let me know when something’s bothering you, okay?” I say while walking to the couch, pretending that I can’t hear his cries. It would only embarrass him.

I try as hard as I can to study, but ultimately fail. It’s impossible to concentrate when I’m so worried about him. Periodically, I find myself glancing over at Alex. I’m aware of how much I’ve helped him, but I don’t think he is aware of how much of an impact he has had on me. He was my shining light when I was a kid, I felt as though I could confide anything in him, he helped me regain my humanity. It might seem like I have had a perfect life, but I haven’t, Alex was there by my side when I needed someone most.