I feel weak. My legs are tired and my heart feels like added weight. The further I walk away from my home, from my family... I start to feel everything in me plead to turn around and just back to their arms and apologize. I can't do that. I have to keep walking. I have to be strong for them, even if they hate me or if I die trying.
The processing center is forty-five minutes away from my tenement complex. The way I'm walking it feels like I reached it in thirty minutes flat. It is not a secret that the slums is a unflattering place to look at, sadly one gets uses to the depressing scenery. The Processing Center, on the other hand, is a site to see. A beautiful masterpiece a diamond in the center of rusted stones. It has three buildings to its body, all glass shaped like octagons. Other than the moon, the Processing Center lights up the slum capitol like one would imagine a concert would be. Long story short, this building is the most beautiful thing a slum will ever see and the most dangerous building one could enter.
One would think that the line would be empty. No one in their right mind would want to sign up for this. To sign up to die, right? Maybe they have their own reasons just as I have mine. Maybe we will finish the journey together at the final crossing line. Then again, maybe we'd have to k-kill... I can't think that way. I just have to make it to the other side.
Ari finally steps into the sign up line. The line is guided to the door by an S-shaped rail gate and the ground is covered with a red carpet.(This is because the 'event' is hosted by Aria's Overseer). The line is moving pretty fast, because some slums are actually being turned away. Ari notices two S-guards (scum guards) holding clipboards questioning everyone and she becomes curious of the reason.
"I didn't think people got turned away for trying to take the journey." says Ari, unknowingly voicing her thoughts out loud.
A young man behind her replies, "Hmm, you didn't know? They want to know why you want to take the journey. If they think you're just trying to commit suicide or something. They'll turn you away and make you work harder out here in the slums."
Ari looks at him and nods, taking a deep breath and starts rethinking why she is signing up today anyway. A few people in front of her have been turned away and others have been accepted in. She whispers to the guy behind her one more time, out of curiosity.
"And what is your reason for taking the journey?"
The guy crossed his arms while he chuckles. "I just want to die... but I won't show those two idiots that."
Ari is shocked and her eyes are wide when she looks back at him. " You wanna' die! Why!?"
The guy puts his finger over his mouth and shushes the girl to be quiet. " Well tell the world, why don't ya tiny lady! Besides, in the back of everyone's mind here. We all just want to die... We're tired of living like this just to die anyways. Might as well go out in style right!"
The young man ends with a huge smile on his face. Even though the topic doesn't call for humor he seems to find his situations, laughable. Ari lowers her head in disbelief... she is stunned. Even though she is no stranger to the harsh reality of the slums and the toil it has taken on the minds of the people, its just if she had forgotten.
"Why not just commit suicide here in the slums? Isn't taking the journey a waste of time?"
The boy is confused as he looks Ari up and down, scratching the edges of his forehead. "Where have you been the last six years? Suicide is illegal! I would basically be dead and my family would be left paying 'Suicidal Job Abandonment' Fees. Can you believe that crap! The law says if I commit suicide my family will have to pay back the family that we work for for up to five to seven years. Bull crap isn't it!
The boy ends pointing at the S-guards at the gate and grins, "The journey is the only way out of this as long as I convince them that."
Ari sighs and once again she is brought back to the harsh reality that she is faced with, but instead of it causing her to run she holds firm in her decision to sign up. If anything, this is more fuel to her fire. It gives her more reason to fight for a better future for herself and the people she cares about.
She doesn't look at the boy directly just whispers over her shoulder, "But isn't leaving them to take the journey, just to die the same thing? You're leaving your family behind to suffer, wanting to die after seeing you get your self-killed on T.V. Why not actually try and win this thing?"
The boy is impressed by Ari's optimism and even takes time to consider her words. He doesn't take long before he is bursting into laughter at her not taking one minutes to consider her feelings.
"You and I are slums, tiny lady! We mean nothing and are nothing to the 'clean ones'! We were born to work, make rich people richer, and die leaving kids that'll be doomed to repeat the process. If you have any sanity. You'll convince those scums another way, because telling them you actually think you'll win... Is the biggest suicidal red flag on their list!"
I don't have a response to that. Do I really sound that 'naive'? He is laughing at me and talking to me as if I don't know that I'm a slum. As if I haven't been one for eighteen years! Is it so wrong for me to believe there is a way out of this 'Hell' we live in... or is my mind so far gone that I have managed to persuade myself that I can actually make an impact. I don't know if I am brave or just plain insane. I-don't-know. I-I don't.
"I see you are stunned now.", began the young man with a small grin. He looks saddened by the fact they he may have caused some uncertainty in the girl's mind. It wasn't his intentions to put his pessimistic viewpoint on her. He lends out his hand and smiles brighter this time, "My name is Gerald, it's a crazy way to meet for the first time, but hey it's still nice to meet ya."
Gerald looks to be an average six feet tall. His hair is raven black, cut low and brushed messy. His eye brows are bushy and thick, but complement his big brown eyes perfectly. He has an average build from the top of his body, but the lower half is much more toned. His skin is a grayish tone in resemblance to stone or rock. He is a young man, looking to be no older than twenty-four and no younger than eight-teen. His face does not help him boast his maturity, because he has no facial hair and a smooth chiseled face.
Ari takes his hand and smiles back, with her eyes bright. "My names Ari and it's always nice to meet someone new... no matter the circumstances."
Gerald chuckles and shakes his head, "Ari, I don't understand you and I kinda' wanna' tell the scums not to let you through... but if you do get through. I hope we never meet again."
Gerald tells the girl goodbye and actually skips Ari to take his turn before she does. Maybe this was his way to give a few more moments to Ari, so that she could have time to reconsider. Ari is at a distance because others in line are told to give some space to the ones being questioned. Soon Gerald is let through.
He actually made it through. He convinced them. He convinced me. His personality is the total opposite of what I thought a suicidal person's would be. I guess we never know what a person is truly going through or how much they can truly take. Still, its impressive. How we all as humans have the uncanny ability to hide it. It's eerie how we force ourselves to smile while at the same time pleading for help. Have I hid my reasons to die, so deep in my mind, that I have convinced myself that I don't. I really don't know, but I am here and I have to follow through... No matter what.
"Next!" yells one of the S-guards.
Ari is broken from her daze and she starts to walk toward the female and male guard, but her focus is actually on Gerald who is standing behind them. He is motioning with is head 'no' trying one last time to convince her to walk away. Even he could tell that Ari is not built for something so harsh as the Journey.
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