The following laboratory class, Nick comes prepared. I guess he learned his lesson from last time… He made a sheet with a few things I can do without messing it all up, and he basically forbids me to even touch anything else. I don’t complain, only nodding in acknowledgement. The stains on his coat remind me of my previous mistakes, and I gladly let him take the lead.

It goes quite smoothly and, for the first time in my whole life, I don’t break anything and the experiment doesn’t result in me trying to explain why the hell I couldn’t do it. It feels oddly great, and I don’t miss on thanking my friend as we leave early, our work already finished. He only laughs though, saying he mostly did it to save his own ass. I shrug, nonetheless happy.

Like the last time, we meet at my place the following day, after class, to complete our work. The concepts all seem so much easier when Nick’s the one explaining them. It may be the fact that I’m actually paying attention to what he’s saying. I’m the worst lab partner there could ever be, but he tells me he doesn’t mind at all because he’s glad that he met me. He must really wonder what’s up with me and my always red cheeks…

This time, he leaves before the sun sets, saying he’s got an early class tomorrow morning and he doesn’t want to wake me up. He adds that he also can’t always sleep on my couch, but really I would not mind at all having him here with me all the time. I watch him walk away until he is out it sight with an absent glare, my head stuck in the clouds.

I then heat myself some soup, which I finish quickly. I’m smiling all alone in the mess that is my room, thinking about Nick in a way I really probably shouldn’t. I mean, there’s no way he could even be interested in me. There’s also this fear that he’ll leave me alone if he finds out. That these feelings will lead me back to a reality where I’m no one, where I’m just the funny looking guy with glasses whose voice can only be heard in rare occasions. Things are better as they are.

I toss my school books away from my bed, ready to grab something from my To Be Read pile and to disappear beneath a few blankets, when I stumble into some manual that lays lazily beside my bed. It’s not mine, but I’m quick to notice Nick’s mostly illegible handwriting. I go through the pages and, to my surprise, they’re mostly covered in doodles. There’s a whole world I wasn’t even aware of in here, monsters and other things I wouldn’t want lo live in my head. I didn’t even know my friend could draw, let alone this well.

I put the heavy book away, sending him a quick text so that he doesn’t search for it. I then grab Rainbow Rowell’s Carry On, reading it through the evening, forgetting about my insecurities for a few hours as I dwell in the lighthearted romance.