Knock knock.

"Yes?", I called out to the universe...and the person on the other side of my hospital door.

Ms. Cortez, the nurse from before, came in with a tray, pushing that thing to the very end of the bed, leaving me with no option but to get up from these soft, warm blankets. She seemed to be sweating heavily and almost panting from the effort of moving it.

Her presence was not entirely unexpected but left me a bit disappointed.

Just whom did I think was going to show up at a hospital?

It's not like the universe would answer me anyhow.

Poor nurse. I'm here complaining about standing up from my session of quiet contemplation and she goes to retrieve food for my teenage-angst filled self and doesn't whine about hauling it all the way to my room.

I noticed her tag said she was an LPN so I figured that her shifts would probably be long and arduous with having to take care of patients and giving me their food, any chitchat I had with her would distract her from her main tasks so I determined it was better to ask the doctor my questions later or maybe even my guardian, whomever they were, when they finally came to pick me up.

Having a black hole for a memory was not fun in the slightest.

I knew nothing about how I thought or who I was or even basic knowledge that people here would probably expect me to know to survive.

Would I have to be taught how to do everything like a toddler?

Ugh. That would be the worst. I shuddered at that atrocious possibility.

Wait, the doctor mentioned I was a minor when he came here. Does that mean in his eyes I could be a kid for all he cared?

While I was having this internal debate, Ms. Cortez proceeded to take the extra blankets with her and head toward the exit.

"Wait!", I yelled.

She stopped in her tracks and gazed at me with doe-eyed eyes.

"Thanks for the food...and everything else. Sorry for the trouble I put you through.", I said sheepishly, scratching my back at remembering my outburst when I first came to.

How embarrassing, imagine if passersby from the hallway had seen it. They might have put me down for a crazy nut-case.

"Ah, Ms. Cortez.", the doctor from earlier, Dr. Ramirez, commented as he placed his hand on her shoulder.

She titled her head as he stated, "I can take over from here. No need to worry, Ms. Cortez."

Was he speaking Spanish or English this time? Honestly, I could not tell at this point in time. Would I ever be able to differentiate between languages and was it possible I knew even more than those two?

She left silently as I lay still on the bed, eating my soup with little thought to its flavor, rather concentrating on what to say to the doctor.

"She didn't say much.", I mused out loud accidentally.

"Ms.Cortez? She's mute.", he casually responded with an accent causing my face to burn with shame.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. When she was younger, she was burned in a fire and barely made it out alive. Truly, she's a nice lady and tries very hard as a nurse. She can hear and sign, just not able to speak."

That was a sick blow to the gut as I pondered over the fact that I had for the last few hours been regretful over having no memory and the nurse had a disability and still found something to smile about in her life.

For some reason, even though I felt like I should be grateful, I only registered feelings of dejection and loss.

Had I always been like this, unable to sense positive emotions or not feel disillusioned with the concept of tomorrow?

Was I broken because of this? Had I been this desolate in my past life?

Trying to push through my inner misery, I asked, "Dr. Ramirez, are you speaking English right now?"

"Yes I am."

"Ok."

As I slowly spun the spoon in the now-cold soup, he spoke, saying, "Your guardian was stuck in traffic for a bit but he is waiting in the lobby for me to give the word. Are you ready to see him?"

"Definitely."

"Are you sure you could walk that far? Why don't you stay in the room and I bring him down to you?"

"Sounds good."

He was about to turn away from me when I added, "Excuse me. Could you direct me to the nearest bathroom?"

"It's in the hallway, 3 doors down on the right, past the elevator. You can't miss it."

"Thanks."

He left and I gathered my nerve, ate the rest of my food and looked over the dismal room, noticing that it was a bit brighter than before.

How had I not seen that wall of yellow sunshine behind me?

Turning the knob, I headed out the door and followed his directions to the tee and relieved myself before washing my hands.

I glanced at myself in the mirror and saw a blue-eyed black-haired man reflected back at me.

Staring into that man, I wondered who he was.

Was he an emo kid, a prankster, a hippie, a nerd, a bully? What did people close to him think of him?

Was it possible for people to change from who they were previously?

Did I even want to know my past? Was my past me really me at all?

Sometimes, I wish that it would all rain down on me.

Spraying water on the mirror, I watched the reflection disappear for a moment as it was replaced by a pale foggy mist and thought whether one day I would disappear like that and no one would be the wiser.

Of course not. My guardian cared for me, right?

As I was about to leave, I heard voices coming my way and instinctively put myself against the bathroom wall.

"You'll be able to see him once we get to the room, Mr. Miller."

"Is he...able to talk? After his skateboard accident, I've been a bit worried about his state of health."

"It is perfectly acceptable for you to be concerned about your ward. He seems alright, but the truth is that an MRI scan is highly advised in this situation. There could be brain damage we haven't detected yet."

"Lead me to him then."

Hearing the voice of the man calling himself my guardian gave me chills.

Something deep in my subconscious was telling me to run.

Brief flashes of a sensation of dread appeared to me as I decided on the next course of action.

When I peeked to the hallway and saw it was clear, I bolted and sneaked into the elevator.

It was time for my escape.