While it may be years before many of you will be personally affected by the impact of death, it’s always best to prepare for such things well in advance. After all, you will have only one death.

But you will experience many more deaths of the people around you. Therefore, having some pre-knowledge of the grieving process and how to prepare for it will make your life much easier.

(Side note: By possessing this book, you forfeit your right to sue us if your loved one dies during the death ritual. We hold no responsibility for the chemical makeup of the death ritual costume.)

In this modern era, the grieving process has simplified to three basic steps. Forget everything you might have heard of the so-called “five stages of grief” because those are woefully inaccurate.

Step 1: Jealousy. While you have to continue to go through the death ritual night after night, your lucky loved one had the honor of participating in the real thing. And now, they no longer exist.

Step 2: Guilt. After realizing your feelings of jealousy, you feel vast amounts of guilt. So much guilt that some nights, you begin to wonder if you were the one that led them to their death.

Step 3: Acceptance. You come to accept that death is a natural part of life, so you put aside all your negative feelings, focusing only on the peace that comes from the death ritual. You live on.

Compared to before, our obsession with death has grown more and more. There are entire industries dedicated to every step of the way. So, naturally, our feelings have changed, too.

It is completely normal to not follow the three-step-guideline, but nowadays, it is socially acceptable to do so. If you follow any other path, you may be closely monitored for your safety.

Those who die by suicide are said to suffer the most in their last moments. However, the outcome of death is the same for everyone, regardless of if you were a good or bad person.

In the end, we will all be wiped clean from the Earth, sprinkling matter everywhere. You may be asking about souls, but we haven’t been able to conduct research to prove the existence of them.

So, settle in and enjoy the long wait until your death. You could even turn it into a game. It’s common practice for large families or friend groups to bet on who would end up dying first.