It didn’t take me long to realize ice cream wasn’t going to drown all my sorrows. So I went for the next best bet.
Chucking the empty carton in the trash, I headed for Jack’s room. I always knocked before entering, even though I knew he was out- if he was in his room, the door would be open, and he would be beckoning me to join him with that same wide grin.
I usually liked drinking with Jack. But, for the first time, I was glad he wasn’t there. Crawling on the floor, I tapped along the carpet until I heard a hollow echo. Running my hands along the carpet, I found the slits where the carpet pulled up to reveal a small secret compartment we had built into the floor. I twisted the combination lock the right way, and it popped open to reveal a stash of liquor.
I contemplated the choices for a moment before grabbing the big bottle of vodka Jack wouldn’t touch because it got him drunk too fast, and the little flask of expensive whiskey in the corner. That should be enough to trounce even my ridiculously quick metabolism.
I didn’t bother with a cup, drinking straight of of the neck of the bottle. The vodka burned my throat going down, and I made a soft, satisfied sound. I shut the door and let the carpet fall back into place before retreating to my room.
It took the whole bottle of vodka, but eventually, I was trashed. Swaying on my bed as I sang songs under my breath that would have made Belle blush, and opening the flask of whiskey. I had just started in on it when the door opened.
“Eli- ah, shit, it smells like booze in here.”
I looked up, squinting so I could see Devin without the world tossing him back and forth. He had his sleeve up over his nose, but I knew he had a disgusted expression underneath it.
“Dev! C’mere, Dev, come drink with me.” I held the flask out, shaking it and frowning when whiskey splashed out onto my hand. Unwilling to waste even a few drops, I licked them off my hand- which was empty seconds later. “De-ev,” I whined, pouting at him.
He held the flask far out of my reach, his face wrinkled up. “I think you’ve had more than enough. I’m sure even you can get alcohol poisoning if you try hard enough.”
“Tch. I’ve tried. It never works,” I said sullenly, leaning forward so I was on my hands and knees. “You can give it back. I can’t kill myself even when I try.”
Devin’s expression softened. “You can’t have it.”
“De-ev!”
“No!”
“Ple-ase?”
His determined expression wavered for a second before setting in place. He knew I was going to win- so he downed the flask of whiskey in a few swallows, groaning as he lowered the flask. “Damn, how the hell do you drink that? It’s disgusting.”
I stared at him, my eyes narrowed to little slits. “I’m gonna hafta go get more now. Thanks. If I fall and crack my head open, I’m blaming you.”
“You are not going anywhere,” Devin said, letting the flask fall to the floor as he crossed his arms over his chest.
The metallic sound of the flask crashing to the wood made me wince. But it didn’t deter me. I crawled forward, wobbling dangerously even with four limbs to keep me steady.
“Eli, don’t-”
It was too late. When I stood up, the ground twisted sharply beneath me, and I flung my arms out for balance. My wings shifted, stretching, and I overbalanced myself, tipping forward. Devin grunted as I hit him; his arms went around me, and he twisted so that he would take the brunt of the fall, hissing in a breath as we hit the floor.
My laugh was almost a giggle. “Sorry, Dev.”
“Shit. Stop breathing on me, that’s foul,” Devin said, turning his face away from mine.
I followed the movement, my hands resting on his chest as I straddled his hips. “‘S not so bad, you big baby,” I teased, leaning in so there wasn’t so much as an inch between our faces.
“Stop it, Eli.” Devin’s voice was tense, and he reached up his hands to push me away.
I caught them against my chest, my hands over his. “I’m not even doing anything. Jeez. You’re a-” I hiccuped, jolting on top of him. “You’re a prude.”
Devin’s breath was hitching in his throat, his face flushing a pale red as he kept trying to turn his face away.
I was too drunk to remember Devin was one of the people who were out of limits. Fed up with him turning away, I moved too fast for him to fight against. With his hands trapped over his head, and my hand keeping his face from turning away again, he was trapped.
“You- hic- need to learn to be more fun,” I said, my voice lightly chiding.
“Let me go.” The strain is his voice was worse than before, and he shut his eyes, his face wrinkling up again.
I made an irritated noise. “I don’t wanna.”
“Eli, I swear to god, if you do not let me go, I’m going to make you regret it!”
“I’ll make you regret it,” I mocked, letting my breath wash over his face, and laughing when it made his nose twitch. “Prude.”
“I am not a prude!” he snapped, his hands curling into fists where they were pinned to the floor.
I scoffed, tightening my grip on his hands. “Yes you- hic- are. You’re the biggest prude on the planet. You never- hic- have any fun with us! You’re such a… a downer. God. It’s no wonder nobody likes you.”
“Right. Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me- including you- so let. Me. Go.”
I tipped my head slightly to the side, contemplating it. “I don’t always hate you. Just most of the- hic- time.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Devin’s jaw clenched, and he strained to pull away from my fingers.
I kept him caught, forcing him to look at me. “I can’t lie when I’m- hic- drunk. I’m not smart enough.” A frown crossed my face as I realized I had just insulted myself. I shook it away before it could ruin my buzz. “I don’t always- hic- hate you. I kinda like you sometimes. Like when you- hic- comforted me after we found Kameron and Anaya. Your hands are- hic- nice.”
“Eli…” I couldn’t gauge the expression on his face. I’d never seen it on anybody else to know what to call it. All I knew was the he had stopped struggling, and it made me too aware of how we had ended up in my drunken fight against me.
Because I was smaller than him, I had to stretch to keep his hands trapped, pressing us against each other. Our faces an inch away, his breath much sweeter than mine, and that damned look in his eyes I couldn’t explain.
“Dev…”
His eyes widened slightly, and he struggled against me again. “Don’t, Eli. I’m not Ren.”
“I know that, silly. You don’t have a tail… I’ll have to pull your hair,” I murmured, as my lips skimmed down his neck.
Devin shuddered, a light moan replacing whatever words he had been about to say. “Eli, don’t, please don’t tease me like this.” There was an almost frantic note to his voice as he fought harder to pull away from me.
But I would always be stronger than him, and he didn’t stand a chance. I nipped at the soft part of his neck where it met his shoulder, and drew a louder moan from him. “It’s not teasing if we- hic- if we have sex.”
“Eli, please.” Devin was pleading even as he tipped his head back, his breath catching in a way I recognized from Ren and Jack.
I let my lips trace back up his neck, until my mouth hovered over his. “Please, what?” I whispered,
“P-please, d-don’t… stop.” He sounded defeated, his clenched fists relaxing as he stopped fighting for the last time.
A victorious smile graced my lips as I leaned forward to close the distance and kiss him- only to jump as feedback filled my head, making me wince and cringe back from Devin.
Whimpering, I scrambled off him as the feedback got louder, making my head ache. I could hear him scrambling up onto all fours and crawling to me, almost yelling, but I couldn’t make out the words past the feedback in my head. Tears brimming in my eyes, I reached for my comm where it was still attached to my arm, desperately trying to find a way to make the feeback stop.
Alpha Vital.
It was a voice I hadn’t heard over my comm in a very, very long time. The central computer was almost never used, and it certainly hadn’t been used to speak to me in decades. Because I wasn’t a soldier anymore.
General? Even through the comm, my voice shook as much as my body.
Report to central command, soldier.
No. It couldn’t be happening. Not again. The tears began to slide down my face, Devin forgotten even as he tried to reach me. I couldn’t… I couldn’t…
Now, soldier!
Yes, sir.
I stood up without a word to Devin, abandoning him in my room along with my drunken haze. I wouldn’t need either of them where I was going. All I would need… was to forget everything that was important to me, and hope I could die this time.
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