Dear Rosey,
There is the normal type of grounding that parents do to their kids, then there is the Zara type of grounding. No phone, no tv, no car, these are all normal things taken away during grounding. What isn’t normal is what I must do to get these things back.
My dad, being a police officer, makes me write two essays. One to him about what I did wrong and how I can improve, the other is an apology letter to Blythe. I swear Blythe must have a whole bag full of apology notes by now.
That’s not all, like one of those infomercials with that guy who always says but wait there’s more. The essays are just the tip of the iceberg. I also have to complete a workout routine that my dad gives me. Which could last anywhere from a week to a couple of months. That is how I stay in such good shape. I also must do three good deeds and have them signed off by my dad. Then to put the cherry on top I have to volunteer for an event at school. Dedicate myself to something productive. That's actually why I tried out for volleyball, and why I was so bitter I didn’t make the team. I had given it my best effort fully dedicated myself and I still didn’t make it. Come to find out the only reason why I didn’t make it was because the coach didn’t want a troublemaker on the team.
Zara grounding sucks.
I am writing this down in case you were wondering why I was up at 5:00 am running laps around the block. Benefits of having a strict police officer dad I guess.
“I want seven after school as well and I want that essay handed into me by tonight you understand?” He said to me as I was catching my breath after having run 25 laps.
“Yes sir.”
“Have you thought about your good deeds yet?”
“Well I have one in mind, I was going to wash Melissa’s car if you would approve,” I guzzled down water.
“Sounds good, one down two more to go. I heard they are getting ready to set up for the spring dance at your school, what do you think?”
“I’ll sign up today for the decoration committee.” I wiped the sweat from my face.
“Good. Go get washed up and ready for school, and I want that room cleaned you hear?”
“Yes sir," Then I walked up the stairs.
You and your mom probably thought it was a little much, how strict he was on me. Don’t tell my dad, but I secretly like it. It gives me other things to focus on besides my anger. He once told me I would do good in the military, I think he's right. It is certainly something I have thought about before.
When we got to school Blythe was waiting with her hand outstretched. I handed her the apology letter. It wasn’t exactly my usual apology letter, this time I poured my heart and soul into it, I wanted her to know I was trying to be better. For real. She had the bear again, and she once again handed it to me. This time she didn’t say anything, she just walked away.
“Is your dad always this strict?” You asked at lunch as I was filling out the dance committee form.
“Yes, but don’t worry it’s a Zara thing, not a dad thing. I’m sure he would never torture you like this.”
“Why only you?”
“Because I get into trouble a lot. As you may have noticed,” I focused on the form.
“I still don’t think it’s fair. I mean technically I really did start it.”
“Fair or not, this is how it has to be. Once I hand him the essay he usually gives me back my phone. The good deeds give me back my internet and tv privileges. And when he thinks I am ready he will stop dropping me off in his police cruiser and give me back my car. The workouts only stop when he thinks I have mellowed out.” I finally looked to you.
“Yeesh, sounds awful.” You rubbed my hand.
“Not as bad as it sounds.” I shrugged.
“Well maybe I can help you, I mean it’s only fair we share the punishment since I was the one who started it.”
“How so?”
“Well I can help you wash my mom’s car, and I’ll join the committee to. We can do it together.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.”
Have I ever told you that you are too nice for your own good?
“You’ll have to go through my dad first, he is usually very strict. He won’t like it if he thinks I am slacking to hang out with you.”
“No way, I’ll get through to him you’ll see.”
“Okay, if you want to.” I smiled.
“I do.”
Which is how we both ended up running 25 laps the next morning. You were dead after two.
“Come on slow poke.” I teased you.
“I’m coming, just give me a sec,” you huffed.
Then just to show off I lapped you. I laughed when you looked at me with those wide blue eyes like you couldn’t believe this was a regular thing for me. You looked so cute struggling to keep up, getting all sweaty and red in the face.
You could only do ten before you gave up.
At school, Blythe was waiting again. I sighed because I knew she wasn’t going to give up until I talked to her.
“Can we talk, alone.” She said.
“Fine.”
“Zara.” You tried to stop me.
“It’s okay, I’ll be fine. See you at lunch.” I said.
Then you pouted and crossed your arms giving Blythe the dirtiest look you could muster. So freaking cute I might add.
Blythe and I walked to the volleyball storage room, which wasn’t currently in use. She picked at the end of her shirt and kept kicking the ground, I waited for her to start.
“I read your letter, I read all your letters,” she said.
“Oh,” was all I said.
“Zara, I’m sorry. I just, I didn’t mean to hit you. I was just jealous.”
“I know.”
“And I know we’ve been through a lot, most of it bad, but I really want to try this again. I want to be better, you make me better. I can be a real girlfriend. I can take you on a date, and cuddle with you. I just--god I don’t even know what to say to get you back. I love you.” She was on the verge of tears.
“Blythe, I don’t know.”
She turned to me and looked me in the eyes. The truth was I was just as confused as she was. Part of me never wanted to see her ever again, the other part, the messed-up part, wanted to be with her. She understood the anger in me, she loved me. No one has ever loved me before.
I am lonely, but I wouldn’t be so lonely if I was with her.
She slid her hands up my arms and rested them on my shoulders. She leaned in to kiss me and I pulled back before our lips could touch.
If you would have told me a few weeks ago that I would be considering dating Blythe Mathews, I probably would have died from laughing so hard. I mean we’ve literally hit each other physically, we have done horrible things to each other. Unforgivable things. Yet here I still am, trying not to give into this dark desperation inside of me.
“Whatever you want, I’ll do it. Anything,” She begged.
“Blythe why me?” I needed to know.
“It’s because you’re so strong. You’re unbreakable. No matter how hard I push you still find it in you to push back. That determination in your eyes. God, why do you think I mess with you all the time, it’s because I’m crazy about you.”
“I’m not unbreakable, you’ve broken me many times. I may not have shown it but there were many times I thought I might not be able to go on. Many times where I hated you so much I wanted to hurt you. I’m not strong, I'm broken.” I admitted.
“But so am I. We are the same. We can be stronger together. No matter how many times I pushed you down you always got back up. That is something I admire about you. Please Zara, just give me a chance to show you the real me.”
She leaned in again and this time I didn't stop her. I let her kiss me, and maybe I kissed her back. It wasn’t magical, but it was a start, a real start to something. This was real, this was something I could have. I know it’s not healthy for me to be with the girl I may be minorly obsessed with hating, a girl who has literally used and abused me, but I wanted someone. No needed someone to keep me from going crazy. To prove to myself that it is possible for someone to love me.
So, I kissed her, and she kissed me. Then one thing led to another and next thing I know I am standing half naked in the volleyball storage room with Blythe having a very steamy makeout session. I was pretty sure we were both missing first period.
“Zara, touch me,” she begged.
“I am touching you.” I moaned as my hands squeezed her breast.
“Not there, here.” She moved my hands lower.
I was already so close. Still, I wanted to hold out, just to prove to myself that I could. So I touched her and she started moaning very loudly.
“Shh, or the coach will come,” I warned.
“Not before I do.” She teased.
My face was very red after that. She rubbed herself against my hand and buried her head in my neck, giving me a hickey. I knew I wouldn’t last much longer.
Her entire body spasmed as she climaxed, moaning loudly in my ear. Her face was red from exertion and she trembled under my touch. I removed my hand and kissed her again. She stuck her tongue in my mouth, I didn’t last very long after that.
“God, you are so hot.” She said as she was putting her clothes back on.
“Oh, now you think so.” I rolled my eyes.
“Hey, I’ve always thought you were hot, even when we were little. I was just too scared to admit it then.”
“Yeah well, you did a number on my self-perception,” I grumbled also getting dressed.
“Zara Scottsdale you are the sexiest being alive on this planet. Seriously so hot. I mean I don’t think anyone stands a chance against your beauty. How was that? Better?”
I just giggled and elbowed her playfully.
“So I was thinking maybe we could go to the movies or something.” She suggested.
“I am grounded thanks to you. I’m not going anywhere any time soon. Plus I’m sure if my dad found out we are a thing he would die of shock.”
“Same with my mom.” She giggled.
“You think that’s funny huh? Well, laugh it up now because this is all you are going to be getting for a long while. I have to join the decoration committee for the spring dance.”
“Maybe I’ll join too.”
“Rosey is going to be there.”
“Then I’m definitely joining.” She kissed me then.
I rolled my eyes at her. By the time we had made it to class, Ms. Appleton was sure one of us had killed the other, but we both walked in together. Hair slightly disheveled, necks covered in hickeys, clothes all wrinkled. Our peers giggled as it didn’t take a genius to figure out what had happened.
“Ms. Mathews, Ms. Scottsdale glad you two decided to join us, care to share where it is you two have been?”
I felt my face get red.
“Relax Ms. A, Zar and I were just finally making up.”
“Is that so?”
“Oh yeah, Zar was rubbing me in all the right ways.”
I elbowed her then as we walked to our desk. The class laughed.
“Well since you think it’s so funny to be late to class, you two can laugh your way to after-school detention.”
“But---” I tried.
“There will be no more buts Ms. Scottsdale.”
“Darn,” Blythe added.
The class once again erupted into laughter. I shot Blythe a glare, she just winked at me. I felt my face go red and I turned away from her and pouted. My dad was not going to like this and I needed to think of an excuse before he found out the truth.
Of course, it didn’t take long for word to spread that Blythe and I were official. We were literally the most unlikely couple to ever exist and yet we already had a following of people who apparently shipped us together all along. Creepy if you ask me.
“Zara are you sure about this?” You asked as Blythe walked over to sit next to me at lunch.
No, I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t even close to sure, in fact, the more time passed the more I felt I made a huge mistake. Of course, it was too late to go back now. Not unless I wanted things to get ugly again, which I didn’t.
Before I could answer Blythe sat next to me and just to spite you pulled me into a deep kiss. People around us cheered and whistled at us. I felt my face get hot. When I looked to see your reaction you were looking down, glaring at your food.
“So, what are you talking about?” Blythe asked as if nothing had just happened.
“Nothing.” You and I said in unison.
Blythe rolled her eyes and just started eating her food.
Let me tell you that was like the queen of all awkward silences. It takes the cake for the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been. The three of us just sitting there picking at our food, yikes.
“So, did you fill out the committee form yet?” I asked you.
"Turned it in this morning.” You smiled.
“I’ll turn mine in after school. We can walk to detention together.” Blythe said to me.
“You’re joining the committee too?” You asked.
“Sure am, I want to spend as much time with Zar as I can.” She wrapped herself around my arm.
“Zar?” You said.
“Like it, it’s my new pet name for Zara.” She kissed me on the cheek.
“It’s okay I guess.” You shrugged.
“Well, it doesn’t matter what you think.” She spat.
“Hey, easy.” I pulled out of her grasp glaring at her.
She pouted.
“So, we still on after school?” You asked changing the subject.
“You bet, I got everything ready in the garage so when I get home we can get started.” I smiled.
“I’ll be waiting.”
“Wait what are you two doing after school?”
“Oh, it’s nothing, just a part of my grounding.” I shrugged.
“We have to wash my mom’s car.” You added.
“Oh.” Was all she said.
Then the awkward silence was back. I get the feeling it’s going to be like this every time the three of us are together.
During detention Blythe kept sneaking notes to me about how much she loved me, drawing little heart doodles with our initials in it. I would turn it into a paper plane and shoot it back at her.
Dad picked me up afterward.
“Want to explain?” he said as I hopped into his cruiser.
Blythe waved bye at me as she hopped into her own car.
“Well dad, I think I finally did it. I finally made peace with Blythe, for real this time. I know I am just getting out of detention, but the only reason why I got it in the first place is that Blythe and I had a long talk this morning. I mean we may not be BFF’s but I think we are getting to a good place.” I said.
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow at me.
“I know right, but it’s the truth. It was super dramatic and there was definitely some ugly crying involved you know us girls, but we worked out our differences. I really think that this is the last time Blythe Mathews messes with me. So, you can extend my grounding if you want, but I just feel accomplished.” I smiled.
“I see. And you are sure you made amends, for real this time?”
“100%”
“Well, we will see how long this last. I know you two, and I and know you especially Zara. I have my doubts.”
I wanted to tell him he didn’t know me at all. He only knew the surface me, the angry me, he didn’t really know me, me. If that makes sense. Either way, the excuse was enough to get out of an extended sentence.
When I got home you were waiting.
“My mom said she doesn’t want us to wash her car until this weekend.” You pouted.
“Why?”
“She said she has to use it for work and it’s just going to get dirty again. She said we can do it this weekend when she is off.”
“Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait.” I sighed.
“But I did find us another good deed to do.”
“Yeah?”
“Clean your neighbor's pool, have you seen that thing, it’s scary.” You shuddered.
“Well, we have to get my dad’s approval first.” I laughed.
“Just leave it to me.”
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