"NO, don’t. Please. Please don’t leave me alone. Just stay with me." 5275 cries out as hurt and as desperate as a beaten stray dog.

She grabs for a hand and realizes that she is outside in a field. Alone again. And the small bag full of a new identity reminds her that her life and her job are now gone. 

Underneath the tree she can see the bright blue sky. Too bright for her weak body to handle.

This feels too familiar. It feels like the first time I tried to kill kill myself.

What next? Where do I go? And she crawls back inside herself. Not even a day out of the military and I return to the weak person I really am. I remember everything I did.And everything I didn’t do too.  I am an animal. I am no better than an animal.

She rolls over and heaves and heaves until there is nothing left. 

5274 decides to die. To let herself rot right there under that tree. Because every moment is haunted by them. Those women. That child. She left them behind. And she doesn't deserve to live when they didn’t.

5274 feels the thirst come, the cold, the morning dew, the blazing hot sun, the cold again. But she lets all these things cross her lips and destroy her. 

Let me feel all the pain. Let me take it. It doesn’t hurt enough.  Let me remember the weakness I showed before. 

The only reason I lived before was because of Nyx.

-----------------------------------------------------------

[2028]

"You need to drink water now." A deep and solemn voice says to her from a distance. 

How long have I been under this tree? Will they find me? I don’t really care anymore. Is this the worst I can possibly feel?

She hears shuffling within the grass and sees boots in front of her face. Military? Militia? They're clean.

The boot finally turns her body over, up towards the sun. And she feel the surge of pain flood to her kidneys. It hurts more than the white she sees as the sun beats down on her face again.

"Are you starving?" He feels her forehead and touches her lips. “I’m going to give you water now.” Nyx pulls out a canteen and pours water onto a cloth. He places the cloth on her lips and little drops of water hit her lips and drip into her mouth slowly. She don’t resist.

Water! I instinctively rush my body toward the cloth. I soak in every drop.

"Why were you under this tree? Are you thirsty? Do you want a bit of food? When was the last time you ate?" Nyx commands.

She moves her hands away from his handkerchief and she sees his face. A sharp military-like cut. The top is too long for the standard cut though. His face is speckled with small cuts and scars. Fights, shrapnel, animals - they were all there on his face. But he was still captivating. She could tell his eyes were analyzing her as well. She didn’t feel as thoughtful as usual. But his boots, his stance right now, everything said I am a soldier in this war. 

Looks like he has a blade in his boot as well. Covert operations maybe?  She thought to herself.

"What do you see? Hmmm? I can tell you see something.:

"I... I don’t see anything." Is all she's able to muster.

"How smart. Yes, you don’t see anything. But now is not a time to be modest. What do you see?"

"You’re probably a gangster."

"A gangster? From where? What gang?"

"I don't know some gang. Something from one of the main boss groups. Maybe God Dogs?"

"Nope, definitely not well off enough to be from there."

"You were a farmer. I.. I can tell by the way you hold your knife. It is held more like an extension of your hand than a weapon. Like a butcher almost. You probably used to take animals to the butcher after you bled them out."

"Haha. that’s good. Nope, never a farmer or a butcher. Is that what you wished I was? He looks at her intrigued.

Yes, I really wish that is what you are too.. But you’re a killer. I can tell.

"How about you? What are you?"

"I’m nothing now. I’m just here. You can leave me here. Don’t waste your time or energy on me."

"I’m not a farmer, but I do grow food and have a ranch. I want you to live. I won’t ask for your name. For your story. What do you say? Do you want to come with me?"

"You probably haven’t drank or eaten anything in at least three days. So I can’t feed you all at once. I’m going to take care of you now." Nx pulls up her tired body into his arms and carries her. She passes out the moment he puts her on his shoulders.

I’m too exhausted to argue. If only I had fought then. I would have died. Peacefully? Maybe. Too peacefully for what I deserve.

She wakes up in a tunnel with water and a piece of bread next to her. A canvas jacket is underneath her head. She turns her body toward the water, and her hand trembles as she touches the water bottle. She puts her hand back down on the ground.

"So you did it on purpose? I thought so. You were next to a river so it didn’t make sense that you’d die of thirst. Contamination from the water? Yes, but not thirst."

She finally takes a good look at his face.

Stubble. But probably used to being clean. There’s a fresh cut along his jawline.

"Look, you don’t really want to die. If you did, you’d done it faster. I’m Nyx. It doesn’t matter what your name was. I really don’t care. And you shouldn’t care either."

He looks at her intently. "What if I told you I could help you forget?"

"Just. leave. Please." That’s all she can muster. The words cut her throat like tiny shards of glass with each syllable.

"Ha! You won’t kill yourself. You don’t have that level of submission. I think you have a lot to offer. What if I could help you find a reason to live? What if you could be useful in changing the world around?"

“I… I have no reason to live.”

"You could be useful. You could do something with your one wild and precious life."

"Useful?" She sighs and breathes the the sharp pains of a body broken and exhausted. And she realizes, neither my body nor my mind are ready to give up.

 "Fine, put me to use. But when you are done, when I am no longer needed I want you to kill me.”

The silence after her comment dead-ends the air around them. 

"Rest now. We’ll be heading to the base tomorrow."