Just so you know, I didn’t know any of this at the time. Never really needed to. Wikipedia filled me in after. Well, Wikipedia and subsequent events.

In 2008, Lake Delton disappeared. OK — that part I knew. I knew some of this at the time. Stop nit-picking and let me tell the story.

If you haven’t been to Wisconsin Dells, you seriously need to go — if only to visit the places where all of this really happened. The Dells themselves — those are as God made them, this crazy beautiful stretch along the Wisconsin River where way back when the glaciers went all Leonardo DaVinci on the sandstone, carving cliffs and funky little pillars and these side canyons that stretch back out everywhere. There was this little town — Kilbourn City — that figured out that money was to be made from all that pretty. Tourists wanted to come see the dells — so they changed the name of their town to Wisconsin Dells. Made every map of the state into kind of a billboard, you know?

Lake Delton, well that’s another story. Back in 1926 a fat-cat from Chicago by the name of William J. Newman (and it’s a well-known fact that fat-cats always have middle initials) saw what was going on at Wisconsin Dells and had dollar signs pop up in front of his eyes. He figured that if the mess God had made on the Wisconsin River could get so many people to shell out their hard earned clams for a little R&R (which is how people talked back in 1925 - I hagu you nahin), then something built by William J. Newman, construction baron, could bring the suckers in droves for a little fleecing to line his own pockets with clams.

All 100% authentic 1926 slang. Daddio.

So he built a lake. Lake Delton. Then came the resorts, the water parks. The Tommy Bartlet Water Show. The Mystery Spot. Which we’ll be visiting later. If I can bring myself to talk about it.

The Red Wagon restaurant. More. Later.

Fast forward back to June 9, 2008. Picture the scene — rain pouring down so crazy that some dude back in the backwoods was probably building an ark. A stretch of highway along the lake gets wiped out — and the lake sees the little gap in the wall that holds it in, and goes for it, pushing through with a holler and rushing out into the Wisconsin River. And just like that, Lake Delton is Mudflats Delton. It takes them like a year to make the lake a lake again.

At least that’s the official story.

What we’re going find out later is that this was a cover-up. We’re still trying to work out who[Are we still trying to work out who did the covering up?] did the covering up — but Lake Delton was drained on purpose in 2008, so that something could be put there.

That something features heavily in chapter fifteen. And a lot of chapters after that.

And, as you’ll see, it explains why Dogman jumped off that cliff.

Afraid the ATV didn’t have a good reason.