"We have a major problem!" Charlie shouts as she barges into Fiona's room.

Fiona jerks into a sitting position, startled.

Charlie dives into Fiona's comforter and screams into a pillow next to Fiona's abdomen.

Fiona rubs her tired eyes. "I'd ask if you were pregnant but I already know the answer." She says smugly and Charlie delivers her a death glare.

"The problem is that my perverted, pregnant mind is sexualizing every single thing that I see. I stared at the postal worker's ass for so long I decided to take a picture so I wouldn't be late to my class. I went around giving everyone imaginary dick sizes. I gave Stacie Winter 9 inches for some reason. I made a mental list of ways I could have sex with the cute librarian, in just one single row of books! I swear it feels like I'm in a porn movie!" Charlie yells and slumps against the bed.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. "How many items were on the said list to violate book nerd cutie?" Fiona asks.

"Thirteen."

Crunch. "Weak."

Charlie looks up to see Fiona eating a party size bag of Cheetos. "Where did you pull those out of?"

Crunch. "You don't want to know."

Charlie scoots herself up on the bed till she's sitting next to Fiona and steals a handful of Cheetos from her. Before she can retaliate, Charlie points to her stomach. "Pregnant, starving lady here."

Fiona nods and lets her take another bunch.

"You know what you need?" Fiona asks Charlie.

Charlie thinks for a second. "Mayo. Mayo would be good right now."

Fiona looks at her in slight disgust. "I don't know what's worse. The fact that you said that or the fact that Cheetos and mayo actually sounds kinda good. But no, what you need is ..." Fiona gives a Cheeto-dust covered finger drum roll on her pillow. "... a baby daddy."

There is a couple beats of silence before Charlie snorts.

"I'm serious," Fiona says. "When my cousin was pregnant, she and her husband were at it every other minute. He told me sometimes he didn't have any feeling down there."

"TMI, honey," Charlie says and turns back to the Cheetos.

"I'm not kidding. Let's find you that a mister." Fiona whips out her phone and her thumbs are a blur across the screen. She turns the screen so Charlie can see.

"Findr?" Charlie questions.

"It's a dating app," Fiona explained.

"Yeah, no," Charlie says and pushes the phone away from her.

"Come on! You've been wanting a significant other for a while now."

"I don't know."

"Come on what's the worst that can happen?"

Several days later, in a small bathroom with phone numbers scribbled on the wall, Charlie got the answer to that very question.

Earlier that night she met up to one of her matches on Findr at a cafe downtown.

She was very surprised when she was eagerly hugged by a small, very round man with the face of a baby with major adult acne and thick-rimmed glasses.

"Thank goodness you match your profile picture. So many people are throwing a picture that isn't theirs on the website."

As Frank spoke, Charlie was hit with a strong wave of garlic breath and had to stop herself from gagging. She nodded and felt her eyes tear up from his very potent body odor. "Yeah, I think I'm starting to notice that."

This was defiantly not the gorgeous human being his profile had, but Charlie figured she would just wait this time out and stay far enough away to not smell him.

Charlie soon learned that it was not only his smell that was foul but also his personality.

"Well, your skin did appear more ... light ... on your profile, but beggars can't be choosers." He said while they were sitting down with their menus in their hands.

"Excuse me?" Charlie questioned, obviously offended.

"Oh, I was simply stating that I thought your race was different but we can work with what we have I suppose."

Charlie felt her eye twitch.

"Are you ready to order?" He asked.

Charlie grins. "Oh, yes."

The waiter came around and took Frank's order first then turned to Charlie.

She smiled at Frank before looking back to the waiter and ordering the first dozen most expensive items on the menu leaving Frank amazed.

"Wow, you sure can eat and are definitely not a cheap date. I'm going to expect you to pay for that and maybe pay ti[ for both of ours." Frank said after the waiter had gone.

Charlie nodded. "Of course!" She said cheerfully.

After waiting and suffering with Frank for about a half an hour, Charlie stood. "I think I'm going to use the restroom for a little. Be back soon."

When she grabs her purse Frank says. "Oh, that time of the month again. You ladies really make so much of a scene. I guess that explains you ordering half of the menu."

Charlie granted her teeth and nodded before practically jogging to the bathroom.

And that brings us back to know with Charlie mortified on how to escape the demon-date.

Her eyes danced across the small bathroom, looking for an escape.

She looks up at the small window above her head. She grimaces and looks down at her hips. She sighs and drags the trash can over to the window. She grips her purse and steps on top of the trash can. She takes a moment to balance herself before pushing the window open and gripping the sides to pull herself out.

She is almost success before her hips are stuck in the narrow opening. She throws her purse down ahead of her.

She gives a silent thank you up to whoever is listening that her baby bump is not as big as a house yet.

She manages to squirm her way out of the window and drops to the ground not very gracefully. She walks briskly to the front of the cafe. When she got there she saw Frank sitting right next to the window.

When he turns toward her she panics and grabs the closest person to her and drags them toward herself and smashed her lips against theirs.

Hands automatically wrap around her waist.

Charlie sees Frank turn away over the person's well-sculpted arm. She relaxes before realizing she just face-raped them.

She jumps back, away from them.

She starts to apologize but the victim of her kissing but was greatly distracted when he looks up.

Charlie doesn't know if it was the pregnancy's sex drive, the fact she just crawled out of a window, or that she needs some more men in her life, but regardless when the man/god looked up at her, she felt blood sneak out of her nose and her face turn a bright red.