“’ello Aggy, you’re up early dear,” greeted the man-mountain with the voice of a grandmother who lovingly gargled gravel every morning for 30 years. He tucked the teacup he was cleaning under his arm, and placed his water jug on the table before continuing. “How are you this morning darlin’?”

“Ready for the journey of the dead.” I peeled my eyelids down and said, “I packed these bags for the trip.”

“Even for death you couldn’t bring clean underwear.”

“My underpants were like this when I got them.”

“Ugh. Stop wearing them immediately.”

“I don’t wear them, you just said I had to pack them.”

“Then what are you wearing?“

Freedom.

“Bring me a drink to find out.”

With a look that grew increasingly distressed at our banter, Ra slowly picked up the earmuffs and placed them back on.

“Alright, alright hun, you win! Give ol’ Rosie a hug,” he said with one of the animated salami logs he called arms already around my chest, hoisting me into the air. 

“Oh, you’re with sweet little Sierra, how do you know each other?”

“I’m ‘helping’ a student this time.”

“Ah, she seems, different, to your usual crowd,” Rosie said with a smile as he looked Ra up and down once more, gently tapping her on the shoulder. “Are you still doing well sweetness?”

“Yes,” she startled a bit, but then her face melted into a smile at Rosie, “everything is lovely.”

“You’re just lovely sweetness, I’m so glad to see little Aggy with a nice friend.” The phrase may have made him happy, but it made me cringe hard enough to poo a little. Then came the nagging. “He hasn’t introduced me properly to anyone he knows since he grew taller than my knee.” He pouted dramatically and didn’t look like stopping.

“Oh, we’re not- I mean...I’m glad he knows of such a fine establishment.” She smiled with genuine pleasure at Rosie, then her eyes narrowed to slits when she looked my way. “The last place he took me was just awful!”

“Hey!” I snapped, “that was my favourite secret lair. YOU EVEN MET MAURICE!”

“Oh Aggy,” Rosie gasped, shaking his head. “You don’t take a lady to a lair! Where are your manners?”

“She loved it! Stayed there all night.” I said, slapping at his arm as I was still hoisted in the air.

Ra groaned and curled in on herself.

“Shush Aggy, it’s obviously a traumatic memory for her.” He said with a grin, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter as the arm holding me adjusted so his hand covered my mouth. At the same time he began wrapping the blanket back around Ra, and refilling her cup of tea with his spare hand.

“How was your meal honey?” Rosie’s eyes were wide and in search of approval.

“That’s entrapment Rosie,” I jumped in, after gnawing on the finger covering my mouth until it recoiled.

“It seemed like you put a lot of effort into making it, thank you.” She continued with her sweet little lies. “I normally prefer the quiet though.”

As if on cue, the pirate and his feathered friend looped back to the start of good old Twin Moons. I caught Ra’s lip curling for a moment before she picked up the soup bowl I finished and presented it as her own. “The atmosphere here is charming.” Her eyes had more ticks than a dog.

Oh no, she’d encouraged him. His eyes glazed over and glistened, his mouth was agape as he sucked in a gasp long enough to suffocate a small child. He would be riding this high for days.

After a brief pause Ra realised that he had checked out and interrupted “We’re actually here to work on a project.”

Snapping out of his big moment, if only temporarily, “Oh, do you two have a class assignment to do together or something? Aggy is normally pretty lazy.”

“Not lazy. Too much weird shit,” I piped up. “They put letters in math now.” I started patting Rosie’s arm to signal for release. “Anyone in my room? Business for the Ball arrivals.”

“Ah, of course sweetie,” Rosie said with a wink. “That kind of business. I should have known it wasn’t schoolwork.”

Ra’s face went new bedsheet white as opposed to my bedsheet white, staring through me and into my soul with the dead eyes of a teddy bear that had seen too much. I don’t think she expected other people to know specifics.

“Of course Rosie, I should have known you didn’t serve her food.”

“Please, my cooking is lovely,” Rosie huffed as he spun in place, turning toward the bar, and dropping me face down on the floor. “Your room is free Aggy.”

“Thanks Rosie,” I said, slowly crawling toward the stairs. “How’s everything running in here by the way?”

“Oh, lights are a bit dim and the oven is a little weak, but I’m chugging along, just head upstairs.” Sliding back behind the counter he called out, “Would you two like a snack while you’re up there?”

“You know what I want.”

“Okay, I’ll bring some of my special cinnamon scrolls upstairs.” He dove back into the kitchen to bring out the nectar of the gods. “Bitches love cinnamon.”

“Wait, what?!” Ra’s silence suddenly broke and I looked back to see her staring in horror at Rosie.

“What is it dearie?”

“No- nothing sir, I was caught up in my thoughts, no cinnamon for me thank you.” She straightened herself up, folded the blanket, then began to walk toward the stairs whilst doing some sort of fancy people curtsey - whatever it is where you bow your head and dick around with your knees.

“You’re a growing girl honey, I’ll make you something else special,” Rosie said with a wink that I’m sure would get anyone less wholesome added to a registry.

Halfway up the stairs Ra swung back to face him, a sickening smile spread over her face. “I would love to Rosie, but my friend will be waiting with lunch and I-”

“Nonsense. While you’re a guest of Aggy’s, you’ll eat. Free of charge of course,” he chirped as he waltzed through his kitchen doors.

At this point I’d already barrelled through the doors of room four and began plotting out Ra’s workload. It was a fairly standard room for an inn, but with Rosie’s little touches. Heavily polished wooden floorboards that would squeak like a remorseful rat when you stood on them, a large bedframe and mattress with an obnoxiously ornate headboard that I’m certain Rosie carved in his spare time, covered by a knitted woollen blanket. A small desk with a cinnamon scented candle, a closet that I’m sure was just slightly too small for Rosie to come out of, and a mirror that went to the ceiling because ‘tall people have needs too’. It was just like every other room in this place, but with one major difference.

I pushed the desk slightly to the side and lifted one of the floorboards it was set on top of. Squirreled away underneath the boards was the stuffed body of my favourite roommate, to guard my booty and throw off nosey guests. Snuggled in behind him were the tools needed to seal runes and a small collection of gem stones. I had just begun to pull out my guardian when I heard the door slowly open behind me.

His head cradled lovingly in my hands, I turned towards my guest. There was terror in her eyes. Good, that meant I had chosen my guard well.

“Why must I always find you in such abnormal situations? What is that?”

“A hero who died for the cause.”

She clicked her tongue. “Explain that more.”

“He stole my liquorice,” I clarified as I finished placing my beloved Squeakers on the freshly made bed. He had always liked sleeping on the pillow, burrowed into my hair. It felt like warm friendship. Then I removed everything else from the hole and threw it on the desk, before settling the board back into place. “Turns out rats aren’t meant to do that.”

“Of course, how foolish of me,” she said with a level of sarcasm I hadn’t heard from her before. “Also, why is this labelled room four when it’s the third in a row?”

“Rosie is superstitious, you know what threes mean.”

“Oh, he believes that? Didn’t think he’d be so old fashioned.” She noticed the dusty, though damn fine, Runecarving set on the table and pushed past me to get a closer look at my equipment. “Oooh, finally something worth my time.” Her grin was far less wholesome than Rosie’s.

“Great, it’s for your project.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” She said as she rolled multiple gemstones through her hand, ogling them in a manner that was not appropriate in polite company.

“You have everything I’ll need?” She was practically drooling.

“Sure do,” I muttered as I guided her to sit down with my dutiful hover hand. “That’s how you’ll be making these.” I proclaimed as I whipped out the sheet of paper from earlier.

“Exactly how quickly are you expecting these to be done?”

“The Ball’s in two days. So two days.”

“Two days?” She choked like she’d had more of Rosie’s food. “That’s impossible. There’s at least a hundred stones listed here and I still have lessons to attend and assignments to complete.”

“Sooo... three days?”

“You’ll just have to deal with whatever I can manage,” she growled. “I still haven’t seen the advanced work you offered me either.”

“Then let me wet your appetite with something fancy,” I pulled last month’s untouched homework booklet out of the desk. “I prepared this for you in advance.” I did not prepare this for her in advance.

She snatched it out of my hands and started flipping pages. “This had better not be your homework.”

A witty response was on the tip of my tongue as she halted on a page, eyes widening.

“Oh! This is... I’ve never seen this pattern before.” She turned several more pages. “I wonder how you...oh! I never thought of it like that...”

She continued to mutter to herself. I interrupted.

“While I’m out I’ll get some more advanced books and worksheets for you. Just remember to fill my orders first.”

“Alright,” she dragged her eyes off my homework, “but before you go, where’s the safety equipment?”

“Safety equipment?”

“Gloves, goggles, tongs, you know.”

“Uhhh, this is educational, you’ve gotta learn without that crap.”

“I could hurt myself.”

“An important lesson,” I swivelled and went for the door. “I’ll be back at four. Squeakers, defend!”

I left. I had business to attend to.

-----------------------

“That kind of business.” A new voice. Again. A woman this time.

“What?” I said with no small amount of tired confusion.

“Rosie. He said, ‘that kind of business’. He knows that you’re up to something.”

“Piss off, no he doesn’t you -” Burning, screaming, all of them mine as the Rune flared up beneath me. There was a silence as I desperately tried to catch my breath. My whole body spasmed in the afterburn.

I heard the loud clacking of some pretentious, fancy shoes on the concrete as she walked towards me. “Are you sure?” she taunted. “Tell me more about Rosie.”

“Well, he likes long walks on the beach, dancing in the rain, and the gentle plucking of banjo strings.” She halted close by and began tapping her foot in a persistent rhythm. I felt like I was shaking, but I couldn’t be sure. “Is there anything I missed?”

“You know what I mean,” I could smell the overpowering stench of the perfume she’d dunked herself in as she came closer to me. “How much does Rosie know about your activities?”

“Excuse me?” I can’t answer that, I can’t do that to Rosie.

I felt her hand gently grasp my face, her long nails slowly digging into my cheeks, “Does Rosie know that you’re making these stones under his nose, beyond the eye of the Guild?” They were digging deeper and I think I felt the skin break. “The Guilds don’t care for when you do that.”

We’d never actually spoken about it. Rosie always turned a blind eye when I’d misbehave as a kid. I’m sure he knew, he always did. I can’t tell them that. I can’t handle the burn of that Truth Rune either. Shit. I have to say something, but I can’t sell out Rosie. I can’t.

“Time’s wasting.” she pressed as I could feel the blood begin to trickle down my cheeks.

My mouth began to hang open and I stuttered, my mouth had never been so dry, “We- I-I never t-told him.” Technically true. Please.

I sat there for what felt like an eternity, her fingers frozen in my face, my eyes squeezed shut in anticipation, as I waited for the burn. It never came.

I technically didn’t lie. This made things a lot more interesting. I might actually get out of this.

“I never told him.” I restated with spine.

“Good boy,” she spat as she threw my face to the side and walked away, “See what happens when you say the right thing?”

Yeah. I do.